yes, Janet, I have a paper due.

so yesterday I was diligently working on my paper at HHyun's sweet new place.

then i took a break.

and i played her an emo song i wrote in high school.  LOL  seriously, major issues.  some of the lyrics i wrote are also.. kind of cringe-worthy; not in that it's embarrassing but uhh i wrote of stuff that I meant one thing but if you read it, you would assume, means something else... yikes.

it's funny because a few weeks ago i was talking with a younger girl about boy problems.  i'm used to explaining "my story" of how as a frosh/soph in high school i wrote off boys forever after a sticky fiasco with one.  (i derno, just realized i hold onto things too easily and wasn't planning on letting myself get "crushed" every again).  usually it's the opening of a good heartfelt convo.
this time, it went more like this

"your sophomore year?"
"yeah it was.."
"wow, that was like.. ten years ago."
"...  .. .. yeah, it was.  huh."
"yeah... so you NEVER dated since then?"
"well, uh, i have other reasons but uh, yeah ten years, that's kind of weird huh."
"yeah... kinda"
-_-

FAIL.

hahahaha, i felt very old then, like an old spinster who can't relate with fresh young collegians.

anyway, after singing hannah my song...i was browsing through the "songs/poetry" i wrote in 2002/2003 (ALL BECAUSE OF X) and i was DYING.  HAHAHAHA.  and the one song i wrote with chords and everything.. well, let's just say, I had a LOT of Fiona Apple / Ani Difranco / Tori Amos / other fem-rock influences...  .. so um, yeah.


Then I rocked out to old-school-man-centered praise songs for HHyun.  she enjoyed it. I think.

I noticed that when I can't reach a note, i just try to belt it out extra loud.. to salvage it and stay on key.  It sounds horrible, absolutely horrible.  I have fun though.  But that day I got tired and realized it would be HARD to be a rockstar.