*grumble grumble*

i'm an idiot.
because of that i'm stuck driving around an hour round trip for dumb 2 hour stints for not a lot of money an hour.

today i saw him again (he was training me for another class -unpaid might i add) and... he wasn't wearing a blue shirt, i noticed he had a weird little goatpatchy thing going on with his little  blonde beard.. and... HIS EYES WERE NOT THAT DEEP DEEP SHADE OF BOTTOMLESS BLUE!

during the interview i remember being plagued with these questions: how could his eyes be so blue?  why are they so blue?  WHERE DO I LOOK - I don't want to stare at his eyes.

and today, they were like a gray.. not.. very blue.  he didn't look aryan.
and i regret (enamoredly) deciding to work there.

that's all.

freaking blue eyes that were only blue because of that brilliant blue shirt.

aGH!

a nonprayer of a fool

god, you better save her soon so we can get onto the mutual edification sisterhood business where she'll look back and be properly grateful and will encourage me with her insightful rebukes and obvious demonstrations of fruit... because i'm sick of the whole sit at a quiet restaurant and argue and cry and have her roll her eyes and me and say okay and be extremely idiotic.

god, i'm sick of praying and i'm sick of being angry at what my parents failed to do (namely raise us perfectly biblically blamelessly) and i don't like this situation where i feel unfairly criticized and where i get angry and frustrated at her from what i think is love, but what i actually know is desperation.
because god if she dies, then what?  is this a demonstration of your grace and sovereignty that should make me all the more grateful for my own salvation?  i don't know.  i wonder if i would feel an i-told-you-so somewhere deep in my gut and smugly feel .. i don't know, more anger?

it's just anger anger anger here. and i know it's there. and it defeats everything.

i swear though, when i was sitting there and being told i was condescending, i had too many rules, that i was disrespectful, etc etc etc and as she threw away the bulk of what i said to poke at the bits of maybe what i shouldn't have said, i just wanted to shake her and leave..            i hate talking to fools.



is this love?

what do you do when he refuses your lifesaver as he floats down a rapid, claiming he can swim.. when 50 meters away is the niagara falls..  do you know what i'd do?  i'd just ducttape her to the raft and her out of there.... except that's not an option.  you can't force people to open their eyes.




"what's it to you?"
"that's your opinion"
"my relationship is between me and God."

I HATE those phrases.  those are the WORST things anyone can say.

limericks from my 7th grade class

teaching fail #1
most of my 8th graders wrote a thank you note to our principal... and wrote "Principle"  -_-

teaching fail #2 
I taught the limerick.
I had them write their own limerick.


Here are a few examples


the best one:
There was a young man named Nick
Who likes to eat and play rick
A man kick he's neck
He replied "What the heck"
And the man got puch by Nick.
(b/c he understood the rhyme)



More typical:
There was a cute girl called Leta
who really likes to eat banana
Leta said "I want more"
Mommy said "There's no more"
She cried and ran to her papa

There once was a girl named Lyla
Who sat around a fiya
Her dress started to burn
So she got up and turned
And ran right into wata
(to be fair, H.G. Wells's limerick also had some made up words)


And because it's late, i'll close with this gem (the inspiration to this blog post)

Vomit are yellow,
and so do marshmellows
So if their breeze
So there are breeze
I like yellow.

And HELLO Saturday.

how not to diet

warm up: buy a new pair of nike running shoes b/c your old ones WORE OUT! (yeah from running!)

1) bake reward brownies  for the 7th graders
2) run upstairs and grab a good book
3) open the freezer and take out your favorite ice cream
4) dump end pieces into the carton and curl up on the blue couch
5) promise yourself that you'll go running at 9pm.

Questions

So, Spiritual Emphasis Week at GCA was an interesting experience.  At first I was wary but excited.  In the end, however, I was thankful for the opportunities given to talk more closely with the students and to provide an open environment for questions.  I was blessed to be a witness of open hearts and we had quite a few verbal confessions of faith!  Now I'm just praying for these seeds of the Gospel to be planted into hearts of good soil.  This makes me worried!
But
WHY should I be worried?  Is it not HE who saves?  Does HE not know His children?  He does, He does!

To try to continue this open atmosphere, I asked my students to write down 3 things on a piece of paper and hand it in.
1) Spring Break plans
2) Any question they can ask me (I stressed that this was a valuable opportunity since I don't always answer their questions)
3) Prayer requests (optional)


I got a wide range of answers going from the banal to the extreme.

I was encouraged by questions from students I didn't expect questions from, such as "How/why did you become a Christian?"  I was humored and intrigued by prayer requests ranging from "Pray for my grandmother" to "Pray that I don't die" (this person's Spring Break plans was "breathing (important)")

Then of course, I got the inevitable questions, "Do you have a boyfriend?" (twice) and then from the more academically inclined, "Do you have a boyfriend, if not, why?" and "How old are you?"  The question that I got that I didn't expect was from a random student, "How heavy are you?"  


aHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH




hahahhahahahha..




Other random/interesting questions:
Would you lick Nick Jonas's foot?
Are you ginius?


I'll add more as I begin replying.
Sort of regret this.  I thought it was so clever too -_-

(Of course, I envisioned 7th and 8th graders penning me grave, thought-provoking questions about life and faith.  What was I thinking?  This ain't the 1800s!)

fairest of them all

seriously? really? seriously?
FIVE MINUTES
FIVE MINUTES outside when the sun came out.
I took them outside to read and while the tidy little taiwanese children sat in the shade, i declared I wanted a tan, rolled up my sleeves, and stuck my smiling visage into the face of the sky.

and that day my face felt itchy and pink.

"Am i red?"
"Whoa, what happened?"
"I don't know!"


I wear my SPF15 face moisturizer everyday.


so WHY then, WHY is my face peeling and itchy?

A sunburn from five minutes in the sun?


really Earth? Taiwan? Sun? Skin?


I guess I should stay in Asia under a little sunbrella for the rest of my life. either that or risk being a marshmallow among a sea of nice tan Californians. :-/

8:30am

So some asked what happened to 5am club.

well it died after i went to Thailand.
I revived it on Friday.. at 5:45am.. :-/

buut i woke up today at 8:30am on a SATURDAY; which is CRAZYtalk. so I'm pleased. I probably won't wake up too early on Sunday just because Sunday I need all my juices.



okay; so today I went to Taipei Mainstation with Mrs. and Dr. Owens to go buy cloth... (i'm playing around with sewing veils/bridal shrugs) and they introduced me to this amazing ice cream place. Two scoops for 35NT for GREAT not watery ice cream!!!!!

and then later i went to her place so she could alter my skirts for me.

I bought two a-line skirts from Korea but alas they were too big. and awkward.

So... Today I tried it on to figure out how much she needed to put in.. and... THEY FIT!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



so i was one unhappy camper and I guess I won't be frequenting the 2-scoop-35NT ice cream stand any more.

and i guess i'll be going jogging with kathy again.


and i guess i'll stop making myself fudge and chocolate candies to eat at work.


HAHAHAHA

as i was walking home, i saw a DVD stand; it was selling Avatar DVDS. hahahaha. oh pirates.

which reminded me of other failures concerning avatar...


1. i went to see avatar 3D with my glasses.
Remedy: i first stuck the 3d GOGGLES (practically) under my glasses; then reversed it. For the most part it was fine; just had to push it up once in a while.

2. the movie was subtitled in Chinese.
Explanation: It was mainly okay because the movie was in English.... except for when the Na'Vi began to speak in their own language. then the subtitles were ONLY in Chinese. I was thankful that I could read roughly 65% of it and understand the gist of the movie (Avatar's plot isn't really brain surgery). However, it hit me how if this was in Korean or in Spanish, at my current state of mind, I'd have a more difficult time understanding it! aigoo


2.5 i went to see it on Wednesday, Feb 17 (i think the day was).. the movie came out a month ago.. and yet it was STILL sold out and Thursday's showing was almost full too and Alice and I could only buy side seats. oh well, good game avatar.

Hooray I gain an hour!

I thought RIGHT NOW.

so let me break it down for you.

arrived in Thailand
took a Taxi to my place.
"soodt soi.. no no, soodt soi.. soodt soi" --> end of the Alley (Thank you Mark!!!)

got settled in (all self-serve; kind of cool; i felt so independent)

woke up twice in the night; once because it was two hot, second because it was 7am.. and MY BODY IS WIRED TO WAKE UP AT 7.. what the FREEZY? IS THIS THE JUNIA I ALL KnOW? I DON't KNOW!

Woke up at 8 (which is 7 Thailand time).. and walked to Family Mart and bought shampoo and toothpaste. Scruuuubbed that nasty not brushed teeth feeling out of my mouth and showered.

came down for breakfast by 8am (9 tw time).. and met some people from China. Actually, as I was leaving, I met another dad and his two cute kids from China.

pancakes and small bananas and.. JACK FRUIT.

okay guys; Jackfruit TASTES like DURIAN but it's not wet; it's more.. like a dry lychee or a plasticky, thick balloon type of texture. Niiice.... (one bite was enough)


Then went upstairs to figure out how to get to the chinese embassy to get my visa.

I went out the back, walked by the Canal and watched the boat taxi thingies go by; and found the MRT station; got off, walked 10 minutes in the beating hot sun and went inside the CROWDED embassy.
waited and waited; was nervous because it was 11:15 and my number was 80 numbers behind... would I ever make it? I have to get to my test by 12:30!

and then, as i waited anxiously while also trying to be "zen" .. i realized, the office closes on Weekends. There's no way i can even pick up my visa.

So, i picked up and walked back. haha. MRT back was fine. on the way i examined some foods and a young girl with wide eyes looked up and i bought some sort of food item from her. I need to learn how to count in Thai and say "how much?"

I then decided to try my hand at the boat thing... and of course, it was super packed; i couldn't get to the side i needed to get off.. the guy hadn't picked up my fare yet. so i got off one stop down.

(the way you get on and off is the boat sort of slooows down and you just get on and off. unless there's a bunch of people, for which it stops).

I then saw a motorcycle taxi and thought "what the heck!" and told him "Sukhumvit soi sip sam".. and we were OFF. me gripping the back of my seat (I don't want to grab his waist).. and somehow i misdirected him; but i knew where i was (just one alley over) so i walked back along the canal, and stood outside the gate and yelled for someone to come unlock it.

the thai lady who works there is very sweet and i showed her something I bought (something wrapped in leaves.. those are always exciting surprises). she said "Oh very very good! coconut, rice, sugar! boil and boil again! steam! how much?" i said "8 baht" and showed her the 3 fingers that Taiwanese people characteristically use to express "8" and she was confused. Ohh 8 baht! good price. cheap!



I then came inside, met another lady and her daughter who's been in the mainland for 14 years. And then I decided to eat quickly and go to take my test.. and THEN REALIZEd... I GAIN AN HOUR!!!


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


so gonna take a quick nap and then i'm off.


I'm glad today was a sunny, well hydrated, take my mind off things, walk around day.... and now.. for test.
yaghers.

6:47am FAIL

But Sort of not too bummed out about it because it wasn’t a faile of sleeping through 18 alarm clocks… rather I left my alarm clock at home, and then Kathy turned hers off.
So yeah.
But it felt strange not having “enough time” when just last week I’d roll out of bed a little past 7 and barely eek it to school.

At the airport with the wifi that doesn’t work. (hence typing on micro-word to copy paste over later)

You know you’re Junia at the airport if you…
- Have a passport/boarding pass + bathroom mishap.
EVERY TIME. Seriously. And it’s by God’s grace that I remember and come back. Today I didn’t even have to come back, I went to the bathroom to change into some comfy pants feeling very pleased with myself that I have this whole flight-thing down…. And I decided to take a picture and realized I didn’t have my camera because it was in the STALL (that was unfortunately quickly occupied by a number two-er). I waited patiently and went in afterwards(holding my breath) and retrieved it. I thought I was smart about it too this time because I had secured my passport and boarding pass with my camera! Because LAST time the mishap wasn’t forgetting it but my boarding pass FALLING INTO THE TOILET (passport narrowly missed). Gross.

And I realized the boarding pass is made out of like plasticky paper – because it was easy to just wipe off the water and then good as new.
TMI I know.

- If you THINK you’re somewhere and then get an “oh” moment…
Let me explain; I thought I had arrived at the gate and I’m waiting and waiting and waiting and THEN I see people going through the “gate” door down the stairs to what I would presume is the actual boarding area. Then I go “oh!” and hurry on after.
This happened twice today, but I don’t remember the first “oh!” moment except for the fact that it happened.

Some advice: taking a taxi to Taipei Main Station takes JUST as long as taking the MRT and costs 7 times as much. It’s REALLY sad. Especially since my smart card is loaded with money waiting for the MRT to take…. And my wallet was only semi loaded with money meant to be changed into Bahts. Boo.

ALSO another thing: Taipei Mainstation --> Taoyuan Airport changed stations! So I was SO confused. Like “didn’t that used to say Taoyuan?” how come it says DaSI? Because it CHANGED! And so I walked over and it was fine. ^_^



*****

GRE:
Confession, I'm not very prepared. Kaplan suggests the day before not to do anything; a racehorse always rests 24 hours before a race (I was amused at that example). But I don't think I will. I think I might take a practice test tonight.

I felt very empty last night. You know how WHILE you're on a course, everything makes sense, and right when you finish you realize ALL the things you could have done and how you miscalculated and misjudged and misprioritized?

Yeah. and I felt .

Anyway, today I'm feeling cheerier because I finally looked up THREE things that i ALWAYS miss on my practice GREs

Permutations/Combinations
Writing the Essays
Exponent/Radicals

And I learned (or relearned I guess) a trick!

permutations: when order matters. N! / (N!-R!)
while combos: when order DOESN't matter (hence a larger denominator since we don't count the order so ABC = CBA) = N! / R!(N-R!) and you can CANCEL CROSS.. or CROSS CANCEL?

OOH talking about that here are some tricks

multiples of 2 = even numbers (knew this)
multiples of 3 = digits add up to a multiple of 3 (knew this)
multiple of 5 ends in 5 or 0 (knew this)
multiple of 10 ends in 0. (knew this)

NOw.
HERE comes the COOL part

Multiple of 4: last 2 digits end in a multiple of 4
multiple of 6: digits add up to a multiple of 3 and is even
multiple of 9 : all digits add up to a multiple of 9
multiple of 12: digits add up to a multiple of 3 and last 2 digits is a multiple of 4.

COOOLLLLLLL

ANDDDD

if they ask you for the average of a sequence of consecutive numbers, you just add the smallest and largest number and DIVIDE BY TWO

if they ask you for the SUM you multiply the average by the number of numbers in the sequence... i think, actually I don't know if that makes sense... it should.


ALSO finding common factors between 2 numbers: find the common prime factors of each number. And THEN multiply all possible combinations.


to find common MULTIPLEs... I forget; I'll go review.


Anyway number tricks are cool.

I will talk about my gRE testing techniques some more later.


Or now, because we're late...


Basically in the beginning I'd finish all my practices with 5-7 minutes to spare.
Now, I don't finish the math.

My score got a LEETLE better or worse.

So I don't know.

but I'm thinking knowing the permutations and multiples will be helpful. unless i get confused.


and i'll stop identifying every little thing wrong with me after the test is over. I'm so glad I can count on that about myself. Once it's over it's OVER. no matter how crappy it was! (unless it's a race where i came in second .. and then cried.. and random nights it creeps back and i think about how I could have been in the olympics if only I hadn't stopped after that... makes me think of that lady that Benjamin Button had an affair with... She in the end ended up swimming thru the channel after all!!!! )




seriously... this is mind vomit.

to be perfectly (or imperfectly) honest...

Okay fine, i'll pepper this post with a lot of self-deprecating, eeyoresque melodrama which will end up strangely making me feel better .. or at least temporarily gratified.

This post will be titled

"Why My GRE Score Sucks"
It is difficult for me to concentrate on a test that is 3 hours long.
My first analytical writing prompt was fun.
The second one, i knew what I wanted to say but by then it was no longer fun and I got tired and bored of trying to edit.
So I just haphazardly finished it.
That does NOTHING for morale.
So then reading comprehension... wow, reading comprehension... reading articles with difficult words on scientific or social topics. So difficult.
Morale sunk further.
Then trying to read graphs. Or difficult terms that I don't remember.. like "multiple integers".

And then doing something dumb like forgetting some crucial little math tidbit. Or not remembering anything about permutations or exponents.

And all the while a little voice in my head saying, "you DID learn this before." or "wow, you're so dumb." or "what's the use?" or "whatever, hopefully it's curved." or "you'll do fine during the GREs."

And then I see my mistakes and see what I did wrong.. and go dur.


All this can be remedied.
The question is do I have the diligence and desire to remedy all this? It'S SO TIRING.
I'M SO TIRED!!!!!

I'm secretly hoping somehow i'll phenomenally do amazingly on the GRE... since I normally do pretty well on standardized testing.. or MAYBe when I was younger, I was more diligent with studies.

I don't know.

Anyway, it's positively discouraging because there's no easy shortcut; but rather I have to work hard. Isn't that so telling about my person? I'm so lazy. and that sucks to see how a test can really conquer me like that.......... like realistically, how do you survive in life if you have this kind of mentality?



In other news, came to "Soup and Bread" a cute restaurant/cafe right next to Sun Yat-Sen Memorial Hall MRT. kathy and i saw it yesterday while looking for the swing dance venue Capone's. Anyway, it's nice, yummy, AND they gave us free YUMMY lattes with foam hearts. Happy Chinese New Year!


I wonder if caffeine jitterized me.


Anyway,

Tomorrow I'm going to practice more math and verbal. Then Wednesday another test. Then the following Monday a test.

HwaeeTING!

Cosmopolitan Hamburger Pasta Casserole

I say Cosmopolitan because it *is* quite diverse.

First of all, i'm using half of the meatloaf I made 2 days ago because my brother's sick of eating meatloaf  (i, on the other hand, could eat the same thing over and over again.  thank you college, thank you.)

anyway, to be merciful (and because I'm bored), i decided to make something else.

cut up a quarter onion; mixed it up with meatloaf** that i broke up with my hand.  (about 2 cups of cooked meat)

sliced 5 red potatoes (with a mandolin)

oiled a glass casserole dish

lined the bottom with one layer of sliced potatoes ** (in a slight overlap style)

sprinkled half the meat+onion mixture

added 1/2 bag of left over Trader Joe's uncooked Pennette  (just thinner non-ridged penne that i accidentally bought instead of penne)

sprinkled on the rest of the meat+onion mixture

put the rest of the potatoes lined on top (about 1 very overlapped layer)

poured 1 jar of 1/2 alfredo sauce and 1/2 chopped tomatoes over everything.  added 3/4 jar of trader joe's creamy alfredo sauce.  [overall liquid quotient ~3 cups?] **

grated some frozen gouda** and sprinkled it over everything.  (oh about.. 1/2 cup?  i like to go more with cheese though)

stuck it into a 350 degree oven. for.. i dono. the longer the better for semi-al dente pasta.  let's say.. 45 min?

it's not done yet.

OH SHOOT I FORGOT TO ADD CRUSHED RED PEPPER (a must for any dinner item)

**subs

normally you'd just use ground meat instead of.. meatloaf. and you'd cook the meat with the onions and if you're extra shmancy, you'd add garlic and crushed red pepper and maybe a chopped jalapeno or two.

instead of sliced potatoes, tater tots work wonders.

you could use 1-2 8oz cans of cream of mushroom (which we didn't have) instead of the creamy alfredo mixture.

you could use cheddar cheese ... in fact cheddar cheese makes it more "hamburger-y"  .. i just used gouda b/c that's all i had.  (i know, so gourmet.  not)

you could use any kinda cheese really..

you could also just nix the pasta.  but.. my poor carb-deprived brother.  he needs the carbs.

you could probably add broccoli... or .... i mean what the heck, this is a casserole; throw in anything if you have to!

edit//  the alfredo sauce is REALLY salty. like almost to the point of blech.    and the mixture with sweet meatloaf is sort of weird.

so. i guess this goes under....

FAIL!

(unless you like salty things) .. which some people do)

at least it looks appetizing: