Friday, January 29, 2010


5:45am - got up
6:05am - started swimming
6:32am - used the awesome massage hot tub thingies
7:00am - ladies meeting with Kathy, Grace, and Mrs. Greer
7:30am - fun pick student of the week meeting.
8:00am - class begins
was short with the kids today :-/
had eel for lunch today.
had a talk with rude 6th graders.
had to yell at Tom a LOT.
Was frustrated with clique-y 7th grade girls.
was frustrated with lazy 7th grade class who doesn't take ownership of their classroom.
was impressed by George's cleaning skills.

AnYWAY the point of today was I took over for mr. Kask's homeroom duties today since he went to Gaoxiong for a basketball tournament (WOW yikes! - overnighter with high school boys? NO THANK YOU!) And the kids are just chilling and going wild and Mr. Peterson walks in. I'm standing in front of him, we make eye contact, and his eyes sort of slide past me and then he asks, "Is there a teacher in the room?" and I was sort of like.. uhh.. and said "I'm the teacher!" and he was so surprised, "Oh! I .. oh" and all the kids laughed like crazy.

Another funny thing, i confiscated George's gum til the afternoon.. b/c no gum is allowed.

George: but i need to "reflesh" my mind.
(the gum has "Refresh your Mind" written on it).
Me: George, gum isn't allowed.. and if what i've seen in the past is your mind refreshed, this gum isn't doing its job.
George: No .. let me reflesh my mind!
Me: I'm going to go refresh MY mind.. oooh WHO WANTS GUM!!!

And then george gives me a baleful stare. HA love that kid.

AND THEN: SOMEHOW I got elected to be in the committee for "extraordinary children" (ie ESL).. and basically it's stinky b/c I was absent that day and so.. yay, i got elected for a committee. Shady i tell you. It was.. interesting, to say the least. Three men, considerably older, more experienced, who desire to be on the committee and have things to say, who speak SLOWLY, who are.. interesting, and then me.. who is unashamedly immature, head on my desk, mindlessly doodling.. doing everything I tell my kids not to do.


it's going to suck when I don't have my youth to blame immaturity on..

Thank you Lord for Fridays!

I stayed at school late, cleaned the DICKENS out of my office. :-) Even the insides of my drawers are neat and organized.

then came home and made s'more fudge. Turned out great.

OH did i mention that OUR KITCHEN is WACK?!
NOW we realized, when we use a stove and touch the metal of the pans OR the food in the pans, a nice pleasant buzzing shock goes into my skin... because I think something happened and now maybe there's a live wire or something. So, what I do is I wear oven mitts and try to not touch the metal. This is definitely breaking TONS of safety rules. I just hope to live ignorant of the hazards of this place.

Teaching diagramming is hard but LOGICAL.
Also, semi-caught a student maybe-cheating ... UGH... INTEGRITY! GUYS INTEGRITY!


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

music snobbery

i am one.

but i appreciate it when i talk about music i like, only mention top radio hits that i can't even figure out the title to.. and the other person just nods and talks to me naturally instead of coolly or snobbily.

sometimes people can just enjoy music without having to know each and every fact.

i realized i so enjoy showing off random trivia and facts. it's a habit that's slightly excusable because i'm an asian woman instead of a nerdy nasal boy in 7th grade. but it has GOT to get annoying.. i'm sure. i mean.. come on, i'm such a show off. you just don't know it because i say it with a laugh/self-deprecating smile etc.. and the facts are funny.

but wow i so often steer conversations back to me.

(check that out the next time we talk)

Monday, January 25, 2010

random Monday thoughts

i SO Feel Garfield and his whole "MONDAY!" shenanigans.
but then; I wonder what does HE have that's so awful about Mondays? He's just a fat cat that bullies his owner and the dog.

It's strange how I devoured Garfield comics when I was younger and I seriously remember random comics and punchlines at random times....
for instance, Coffee? Garfield. (or Jon)
a scale? Garfield
every time I eat a burger I think of the comic where Garfield weighs the burger and its 6oz; he eats it and he weighs himself and he gained 1lb. then he glares and thinks "traitor" .. hehe. not so funny i guess in writing.
Mondays? garfield for SUREEEE

My principal was understandably freaked when the academic dean informed her that I was taking a day off to take my GEDs (and not my GREs).

Today during first period...
George: Why you so weak?
Me: What? WEak? (already thinking defensively; uh you want an arm wrestle rematch buddy?)
George: Yeah, weak.
Me: What do you mean I'm weak?
George: You look different; weak today.
Me (feeling slightly mollified): Oh.. I don't know, I don't feel weak.
Hank: Eh? It's because her hair wet!
Me: Oh that's the rain.. I dropped my umbrella on my head getting my soymilk .....maybe I'm tired?
George: Oh.

Anyway I think that's as close as George ever go to "caring" for me. Very backhand and awkward. I'd like to THINK he was semi-thinking about me anyway (probably thoughts didn't get as far as "care").

By the way; I have SUCH A BIG problem with LYING! it's INSANE. absoluTELY. for example;
sometimes I say things that happened that didn't happen. (a habit i think I picked up from my dad; I mean it's so easy to remedy; instead of saying "once I saw" I could say "once I heard of a guy.." or "what if a guy..." or "wouldn't it be funny if.." I mean even if the stories I share are TRUE stories told by others; it didn't happen to mE!) .
OR i exaggerate; or add stuff that sounds true and could be true.. but just isn't.


I WRITE IN MY BLOG OR DIARY stuff that's just not true but what I guess I'd like to be true. my 8th/9th grade diary I was reading last night is a testimony of that.

I think every-so often, I try to remedy my lying and try to speak less and be more mindful. Every Sunday I try to remember to be soberminded.. but also, every-so often, I'm boggled at WOW how many random UNNECESSARY lies flow out of my mouth.

Doesn't that scare you? How do you know what I say and what I don't say is true?
Some things I've just gotten USED to saying.. that's just not true!


other things ARE true.

I really do remind myself of the grandpa from Big Fish.

I'd get in trouble if i ever wrote a memoir; b/c it wouldn't be true.

but then you know, it's easier to reveal and confess true things when they're mixed in with tall-tale lies. then you don't know what parts are true or not. I guess this would work if I were writing a literary piece or something; it definitely doesn't make for good relationships. hah.

WOw.. drama rama...

HORRIBLE - 6/6/2001

My week went soo bad and today was especially horrible. I just realized I could get killed in my pool because it has low something or other.. I forget
I had to do stupid detention in stupid math class for stupid reason

then I went to stanford for a haircut I was really excited about... she totally messed up and I felt like crying.. furthermore I left my wallet at home so I waitied for 45 minutes and then she PASSED me so I had to run after the car yelling like a fool.. I met Jade so i was happy bc I barely talk to her.. so I yelled at my mom and she said it was my fault and I cried and I felt like suicide and took a nap but now I think commiting suicide over a bad haircut is stupid but it feels reasonable.. speically now Deb is being really mean bc Tina told.. (see entries for DEB) here's mosta my conversation.. I don't feel like talking to her because my day is horrible.. I HATE MY LIFE sooo much but then I want to be happy for those that really do.. :(


i thought the 7th/8th graders were crazy here but uh... HAHAHHA i was 13.

Saturday, January 23, 2010


During 8th grade grammar, I was giving spelling words. I try to apply the words to my kids so I ask questions. Here goes what happened last Monday.

"prudent. Prudent means wise or having sound judgment. Do you know anyone who is prudent?" i was fishing for answers like "my grandmother; my grandfather."

and one girl piped up

"R--- is prudent!" and yes, R-- is a smart girl, and she's a nice helper.. but almost immediately I objected.

"Oh well, a grandmother would be prudent, or a parent.. someone who is older is usually wiser- usually.. well maybe not R-- because she's young.. not that being young doesn't mean you're not wise.. but usually wisdom comes with age" ... I rambled a bit, caught off guard and poor R-- made an embarrassed smile.

I felt bad.

See, i have a slight quandary.

I want kids to not act dumb because society expects it. I want kids to not let people look down on them because they are young. I want them to know that they have power, they have intelligence, and they should rise up to this occasion (which is life).

and yet, I don't think they're wise. and I don't want to teach them or trick them or mislead them into thinking that they can do without teaching and help.

BUt THEN I don't want to act like I'm so smart and wise either.. and sometimes I do act stupid or goofy. I guess I need to give up the friend act and take the role-model act. But then I DO have teachers who stayed professional and who were role-models as well.

Something to figure out.

Friday, January 22, 2010

you know you're in Taiwan when

the weather is mild and clear enough for you to ride your bike at a brisk speed to school with wet hair flapping in the wind, no jacket, no gloves in the morning and by the late afternoon/early evening when it's time to come home, you're cold, gloveless hands grip the handlebars as you speed home, jacketless, avoiding busses that drive down the middle of the road in this suddenly darkening day, as your hair gradually dampens from the RAIN that begins around 4pm.

SUPER turn around.

But THANKFUL for three days of Sunshine.

God, those years in Gray gray Berkeley has prepared me in ways I would never have imagined.
I still remember crying freshman year, looking out my fourth floor window at College Avenue below at the hopeless gray, the wet leaves, the blustering wind.. and wail for the mild weather of Palo Alto. Much has changed since then :-) Weather doesn't affect me as much; or almost not at all!


Today I yelled at Tom in the morning for speaking Korean. Next, I reprimanded him for sharing gum. Then I found out it was candy. He promptly offered me a piece, and I promptly accepted. Which then prompted Woody, to give me a grape flavored one. Yum Yum! Candy for breakfast! (And no I didn't feel even one teeny ounce of guilt for yelling at him, accusing him of gum, and then taking his candy. NOt.. one.. tiny... bit... )

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

movies that made an impression on me.

i made a long list
then erased it.
i like relooking up movies i watched.
watching previews/trailers
reading the plot on wiki
and thinking about what it reminded me of.
admiring the costumes and the actors/actresses.
and feeling feelings.

tidal waves don't beg forgiveness.

watched Big Fish today... and I understand it more.

I remember watching this my junior or senior year on a Saturday night at the movies with my mom. I don't know why we went; but I remember running into friends and being okay with the fact that I was there with my mom.

I remember loving Ewan Macgregor, I remember thinking it was pretty, I remember my mom bawling, I remember the asian women and the field of daffodils... truth is, I don't remember much. I'd say "Oh, i love that movie, but I forget what it's about." I guess I loved the picture memories and the memory of my mom and I there.

I watched it again and I think I understand why my mom cried so much. In truth, the father reminds me of my grandmother and the son, my mother. I see my grandmother's larger than life stories, her grandiose statements, the fact that she is so loved by everyone, and yet somehow my mom disappoints her or she annoys my mother. i think I see that more. There's still that love; that fierce reality; but it doesn't take away the hurt i don't think.

Another thing is how i was thinking, I'd rather marry the father-type than the son-type. But then I realized the father marries a sweet sweet girl. i don't think two people who are too big for their britches who dream too big could be together. and i thought, there are only two types of people. dreamers and those who don't (but still fare just as well). and i think my grandma and i may be dreamers, while my mom isn't. BUT that can't be true.
since my mom and i can easily take the dynamics of my grandmother and her.
so nevermind.

I don't know what i'm trying to say.

All I'm saying is i love the story, the relationships, and the sweetness.

Favorite scenes:

One peeve:
How the underwater woman couldn't swim gracefully, nor flex her feet when she did that awkward scissor kick. -_- ruined the ethereal moment.

Oh btw: LOVED the Cast


well, the old mom was... her smile was too... i mean, is it a real smile? it was sort of.. i don't know. meh. dentures? but even dentures can't look THAT fake can it?

Monday, January 18, 2010

why i would/could write for the NY Times

I would love to write for the NY Times because I like the news source, and plenty of people respect it. Thus they would respect me.

I could write for the NY Times not because I'm particularly good at writing or because I have deep insight but because I can summarize, I'm snarky, AND I realized despite the loads of GREAT articles they have, they also have stupid things ... and I think I could float by on that.

I guess though, the respect wouldn't be included then.

NY Times Doris Day Tribute

"Doris Day symbolizes what so many of us first loved about movies — a stylish escapism, grounded with feeling and heart. She has done her part for the movies. Now it’s the academy’s turn to do its part for her."

enjoyable read :-)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

forces of nature

i've wanted to see this for a while since
a) Sandra Bullock was in it and
b) it was my really good friend in high school's favorite movie.

Despite the "dapdaphan" plot and freak catastrophes, there are a few things i like about this movie.

first of all, the cinematography of nature and weather were at times amazing and beautiful. I love how weather was an active agent; how it was personified. i like how the camera captured that and brought it to life.

second of all, i loved the ending. it was beautifully shot, and i liked what he said; and i liked the closure... and how ultimately he didn't give into "the force of nature" but rather made his decisions.

thirdly, i liked the overall weirdo message.

the movie dragged; it was suffocating at times, frustrating, BEN was frustrating.. Bullock did ALL she could to keep it up. Never have i found issues with that woman; she is a great actress. ( i may be biased tho!)

Miss congeniality
While you were sleeping

Okay fine, i went thru the rest of the list of Bullock films I've seen and wasn't a huge fan of most of them... BUT i hAVE to say, in ALL of them, BULLOCK wasn't the one at fault. She herself is funny, endearing, etc etc etc!

baking fail.

was it the 3-4 batches i miserably burned?
it was .. eating about 2 dozen cookies.. for "good" reasons such as to see if it was good, to see how it tasted with chocolate added, with the excuse that it's burnt no one will want it, and then just a moment of weak willpower.

let's not add the momentary times of just eating bits of dough.

now i feel gross.

i don't feel gross.
I feel full! :-)


THESE were a success
and i'd suggest adding 1/2 C chopped chocolate chips! but plain is nice too.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Mary Jane: my legal friend?

Selina, my coworker told me that marijuana is now legal in California. I flat out said, "No way, I don't believe you!" My reasons being that there has been no hoopla over this, and yes, there already might be legal medical marijuana, and California is a more open state, but for SURE there would have been some sort of hullaballoo over this, no?

But then, onto my trusty NY Times blares this headline: Committee Approves Calif. Pot Legalization Bill

Say what?

And indeed, that does seem to be the case:
A bill seeking to legalize marijuana in California won initial approval from a legislative committee Tuesday in what may be a purely symbolic vote because a second committee likely won't take it up in time.

The state Assembly's public safety committee voted 4-3 on the measure that would tax and regulate marijuana in the same way alcohol is controlled.

However, upon closer inspection, it probably won't come to be.

But the health committee also must approve the measure by Friday before the full Assembly can consider it, an unlikely scenario.

The health committee is not considering the bill during its meeting Tuesday. And the bill's backers would have to get a special waiver to reconvene the health committee later this week.

Which allows this substance-free being to relax a bit. But then, what is up with this? "a purely symbolic vote"? You know what this is, right? It's injecting it into the system. It's making the possibility of such a bill a plausible reality... and usually, the way our relative society works is
1) mention something AWFUL/WEIRD/CRAZY
2) Keep on mentioning it (subliminal! .. or not so subtly)
3) Make waves proposing something crazy
4) Garner more popular support from people for various reasons
5) Slowly the idea is no longer crazy
6) A modest, cautious compromise is made
7) Later on down the years, the previous "making waves" news is waved in with the times.

Sometimes this is a good thing (ie getting rid of slavery). Most times, we don't always have that blessed discernment.

ANYWAY BACK to this issue, it appears that people agree with me

If the bill does die, a spokesman for the bill's author, Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, said the San Francisco Democrat would hold off on reintroducing legislation until after the November election, which could feature a marijuana legalization ballot proposition.

Though the successful committee vote could end up being purely symbolic, pot advocates hailed it as an important step forward.

''We're thrilled,'' said Stephen Gutwillig of the Drug Policy Alliance, a pro-legalization group. ''This to me, this is the formal beginning of the end of marijuana prohibition in the United States.''

But this isn't what irks me.
What irks me is this:
The legislation would allow adults 21 and older to legally possess, grow and sell marijuana. The state would charge a $50-per-ounce fee and a 9 percent tax on retail sales.

State tax collectors have estimated the bill could bring in nearly $1.4 billion in revenue.

I remember last year listening to the radio about how legalizing marijuana could do wonders for California's economy... and how "cooperative" and eager such growers are to comply. (sure sure, let's fast forward ten years when Pot Lobbyists take over our government. LOVELY! absolutely LOVELY!) AND NOW look.

What bugs me, is this bid to legalize marijuana is from greed, and from a desire for a simpler solution to get out of this economic mess that California dug itself into. What the California, can't we do better than that?

AND I bet we'll reach a calmer solution.
We'll mollify the public by giving more money to schools, lowering the UC system fees hike by 15%, and stressing that there would be regulation and rules (just like how we successfully controlled cigarettes and alcohol ... except the last time I checked cigarettes and alcohol related deaths still rank in the top ten causes in the US)

oh and of course:
Under the bill, much of that money would go to fund drug abuse education and prevention programs. Republican Assemblyman Danny Gilmore ridiculed that idea during the hearing at the state Capitol.

Oh whew. Thanks~! Great, now I can rest easy.

I think this dude says it best:

"We're going to legalize marijuana, we're going to tax it, and then we're going to educate our kids about the harms of drugs?'' said Gilmore, a 31-year veteran of the California Highway Patrol. ''You've got to be kidding me.''

This is retarded.

Where were these people in 7th grade when we learned that "marijuana" is the gateway drug.


or tell me to "take care of my own life" and don't butt into others'.

The thing is; when people start smoking, drinking, engaging in weird substances, it DOES affect me.
* drunk drivers
* second hand smoke
* second hand marijuana smoke (favorite Breakfast in Berkeley I tell ya)
* lobbyists who are filthy rich
* (future/past/current) friends who get addicted
* (future/past/current) friends who don't have all the pieces together in the mental department.

whatever, there's more.

this is just dumb and makes me mad.


and i mean when I was in high school there were PLENTY of people smoking pot when it was ILLEGAL! How much more kids will be doing this when it's legalized? COME ON! How many kids would not start if they see their teachers taking an MJ break? Come ON!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

song i liked from chapel yesterday

This is a song we sang in chapel yesterday and I thought the words were so right.

I found some kids singing it too.


Obedience is the very best way, to show that you believe.
Doing exactly what the Lord commands, doing it happily.
Action is the key - do it immediately, joy you will receive.
Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe.

Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe.

We want to live pure we want to live clean.
We want to do our best.
Sweetly submitting to authority, leaving to God the rest.
Walking in the light, keep our attitudes right,
On the narrow way.
For if you believe the Word you receive,
You always will obey!

Friday, January 8, 2010

You amaze me / overwhelm me. deeply humbled.

and i stand in a w e of You.

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on Wednesday, January 7, 2009, and sent via
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear FutureMe,
How are you doing?
At this time last year you left home.
Well I left home.
i'm mad.
last night i cried. alone. i hate being alone. i wish someone had come. i wish people would come when you push them away, because that's when they need you the most. i wish people knew that.
why didn't oma and abba follow me? or, jeremy.

did you lose weight?
all i'm doing right now is vegging and watching movies. and tv. and frying my brain. i did fill out my job stuff.
which reminds me, are you working? or what?
do you like it?
do you like you?

done 1/7/09 6:54pm

654. maybe that's a good thing?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


as i grow, my heart swells and my cheeks flush with the thoughts of my founding fathers. their bravery, their nobility, their fallibility yet determination to succeed despite it ....

yesterday i got carried away talking about George Washington. This man voluntarily gave up king-ship, reminding others that they fought this war precisely to rid themselves of such ruling practices. He settled for president. He *settled* for presidency. Who would do that now?

"The Signing of the Declaration of Independence"

By H. A. Guerber

John Hancock, President of Congress, was the first to sign the Declaration of Independence, writing his name in large, plain letters, and saying:

"There! John Bull can read my name without spectacles. Now let him double the price on my head, for this is my defiance."

Then he turned to the other members, and solemnly declared:

"We must be unanimous. There must be no pulling different ways. We must all hang together."

"Yes," said Franklin, quaintly, "we must all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately."

We are told that Charles Carroll, thinking that his writing looked shaky, added the words, "of Carrollton," so that the king should not be able to make any mistake as to whose name stood there.

Sunday, January 3, 2010


"You don't understand the hypostatic union of a Triune God!" - Bethel's (7) response to my brother (18) rubbing his Blokus win in her face ... HAHAHA. that's what you get for having a Christian professor as a dad i guess...

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Meet the Fam

Ultimately very thankful for parents.
Had a big conversation. but i'm so thankful to see how they've changed from when I was a freshman. =)

Meet the youngest Kim:
Bethel Kim

She wears glasses, is seven years old, is exuberant, has a baby, nasal, whiny voice, looks JUST like her mother, and is quite precocious. Haha. The perfect recipe to temporary entertainment.. a little difficult unless you play her right. She's definitely our baby.

To keep her occupied I asked her to write me a story since last year she read me a story she wrote in her notebook about a rabbit. Okay, the story was definitely misspelled and on crack, but it was SO Cute. This year she asked me if she could type on my laptop... and she's SO good at using spell-check and stuff!

The story is so cute too. She wanted to write a mystery... and she kept on asking me "Uh Junia Unni? can i do this? Uh Junia Unni, what if i change my mind?" heehe. I left to go shopping, came home to read

"Forest Mystery
Mystery books by Bethel Kim"

Hehe. It's not finished. But it reminds me of how I used to write stories when I was little with bits of obvious plagiarism. Hey, when you're in 2nd grade, that's allowed. Also, reading it made me incredibly depressed that some of my 8th graders can't write like that.

Meet the oldest
Juan (John) Manuel Kim.. err Ki-Eun oppa.
I think he looks like Gong Yoo.. hence I never got into the Gong Yoo appeal since Gong Yoo reminded me of Ki-Eun oppa. He's currently in Beijing studying and he's an interesting guy. He was always the charismatic, smart, fun one... and he still is. It's fun chatting with him, but in a sense I still get intimidated I guess. He's very open to things, multi-cultural.. and we had a loooong talk in Starbucks. it began with my declaring my affection for starbucks and acknowledging that more than half of the money I'm paying is for the brand and not the coffee.
He got started talking about mom and pop stores. We then commenced to chat about.. all sorts of things about the world, and it was SO INTERESTING. I MISS talking about things like felt like class! But then again, class is where we just air our opinions and in the end, it's a bunch of fluff, because ultimately, we're drinking overpriced starbucks at shinsegae mall in Korea.. so, there goes our whole "change the world" idea.

His dad, my uncle, wants to influence Venezuela through his Christian family. They already have a motorcycle company (Empire Moto) and are planning to build a Christian university in Venezuela. .. I wonder .... .... ........... Well, I don't know if I would teach there, but I know they want to make it a family affair.

How do I find balance in time? Between changing the world and remembering that the world itself is but a temporary dwelling place?

some thoughts.

I realized my mom's side of the family is VERY passionate. PLUS we have our south american blood.. ... even MORE passion. And very family-oriented. Sort of strange b/c it's kicking in now.. and I feel like I'm genuinely becoming friends with my cousins.

Sometimes i don't like to add to my friend count; I feel more burdens that way.

I leave Korea the day after tomorrow. What a full trip it was.

Poppa Kim and Momma Kim made

Paul (previously alejandro.. don't worry, there's a story behind this . LOL)

Manuel + Rebecca
Juan Manuel Ki-Eun
Daniel Ki-Sung
Elisa Eunsung

Don + Maria

Paul + Jaimy