miss my class

had the weirdest dream last night
that we were doing senior banquet, and my class boys did a weird asian-inspired kungfu, choreo'd dance that they attributed to Ben Saetang..  it was my class boys plus two random asian girls that i didn't know dancing...
then some sort of funky skit that someone else did..
and we mobbed the 2011ers.. and i cried when i held sarah and sofie's.. NECKS IN MY HANDS!?

and then i was wearing a huge diamond ring on the wrong finger and it had a pearl on the other end and i was engaged.

and... hmm other stuff happened in my dream, but now i'm forgetting.


this most likely has a DIRECT correlation with my conversation with hannahw last night.. about church, our class, the split, people leaving, and engagements.

WEIRD HUH!


I decided this morning I need to be careful of what I input into my brain before I sleep.  otherwise, it's CRAZY AND WEIRD!
I mean Sam Kim and DLee were doing pirhouettes and John Lee was doing something kungfu-ey.  so was caleb.  So. Weird.



in other news:
family is such a strange idea....... SO STRANGE SO STRANGE .. and i think when all is said and done, I can't help but be grateful, and thankful..... but.. yeah, it's so interesting.

joy williams

I remember listening to Joy Williams in middle school/high school.  She was the pretty blonde girl that my 'oppa' (seriously, only guy in history beside my cousins that i'd maybe call oppa) had a FATTY crush on.

She had an interesting voice.

FAST FORWARD

found this song on my friend's blog.  thought she looked familiar (b/c of her mouth), but couldn't tell because she's now a brunette.

"Poison & Wine is a musical snapshot about the dichotomy of love - that while it can be the thing that destroys you, it can also be the very same thing that beckons and builds you. JP and I are both married have been for several years now - and we got to talking one day about what a tug and pull our individual relationships can be. The longer you know someone - and the longer you allow someone to know you - the more the light and shadows inside each person become more vivid. This song was our attempt at being as brutally honest about the dangerous and beautiful process of knowing and being known." (-Joy Williams, The Civil Wars).

it IS joy Williams!

"I don't love you, but I always will". makes me sad. hah.hahaa.

I wonder what it's like to sing in a duo with someone but be married to someone else. It's one thing to like sing occasionally, I think, maybe totally different to be in a DUO group. Anyway, excited to look into the Civil Wars a little more!

"50 Easy Ways to Eat Green" Adapted from Bon Appetit - Feb 09 Issue

So yeah, some of them are lame / too extreme.  But it's always nice to know and pick out a few to apply.  

I bolded things that I like/do, I italicized my comments, and I grayed stuff I won't be doing.

1. Eat fair trade organic chocolate
good idea - more expensive, i'll eat less, and it'll be a treat. plus i don't like the way hershey's tastes anymore
2. Boil Once, cook twice: (ie: boil noodles, then poach shrimp/fish... toss with olive oil, tada!)
3. Fill up your freezer: uses less energy
4. Read in Defense of Food (shorter than Omni's Dilemma)
5. Eat Bison: best way to save a species is to eat it.  
???
6. Ask a farmer if they are

• certified organic
• if not, use organic practices? (b/c organic certs. are expensive/lengthy)
• if not, non-synthetic pesticides?
• if pesticides, minimal spraying?

If they answer yes to any of these questions, it means they're being conscientious.. sure.

7. Every time you peek into an oven, it loses 25-50F
8. (How to) buy a side of beef

1. Find a group to go with (about 4-6 families since a side of beef ~200lb after butchering).  Each family will get ~50lbs for about $4.50/lb
2. Make sure you have storage space - Energy star-rated chest freezer
3. Ask around at a farmer's market for a local producer or go to eatwild.com
4. Look for grass-fed beef and arrange to get it delivered to a nearby slaughterhouse
5. Choose cuts: standard side of beef breaks down to about 10 roasts, 30 steaks, and 50 lb ground.

9. cook more often 
(no shiza sherlock)
10.  Roast a whole chicken (less processing, less packaging = less waste; use left over bones to make own stock and save a can)
Don't know how much saving 1 can would do for the environment...but yeah!
11.  Use less electricity by being better with your knife - stop using a food processor 
(or go for a manual one like this; we got a pretty good one from Korea- easy salsa, easy garlic mincing)
12.  Eat alaskan wild salmon: wildpacificsalmon.com
13.savor sardines   If you want something less fishy: mybela.com
(ooh the korean in me loves me some kkongchi!)
14. Get nuts/grains from bulk bin section: less packaging/processing
15. Plant heirloom veggie garden (heirloomseeds.com)
16. Learn how to read a a label

• Product of USA (greener than global = you know where it's from)
• Local (closer the better)
• Organic (free from chemical pesticides)
• Natural (doesn't mean much: just means that no artifical ingerdients or colors)
• Free-Range (means they have "access" to outdoors, but usually overcrowded/dirty pen - not really green)
• Certified Humane Raised and Handled (super green)
• Fair Trade Certified (requires companies pay fair prices to farmers/producers who treat workers well and cultivate land sustainably) - transfairusa.org

17. Barramundi: a US-raised white fish
18. Make your own coffee

• fair-trade organic (globalexchange.org)
• Use a french press
• use a portable mug 

19. Recycle take-out containers and reuse sturdier ones 
Sometimes reusing the plastic is actually not good for you...
20. make stock with leftover veggies from veggie bin
21. Make your own cereal
22.  Join a CSA: localharvest.org/csa
(I am a part of farm fresh to you.  So far so good!)
23.  Eat American cheese!

• artisan: made in small batches w/ special attn to trad'l art of cheesemaking
• farmstead: cheese is from milk from the farmer's own flock/heard
• cheesesociety.org

24.  When buying fish, text fishphone: 30644 with word FISH followed by the name of the fish you want to buy: it tells you if the variety is good for you/world
25.  Veg out
meatless mondays, anyone?
26. Turn off lights when you leave the kitchen
see comment #9
27.  Clean with nontoxic, organic soap (jrwatkins.com)/sponges (twistclean.com)
28. Start composting
mayyyybe..... it's a loooot of work...
29. Eat grass-fed beef
mayyyybe.... i heard it actually doesn't taste that good b/c we're used to corn-fed.  I'm just limiting overall beef consumption
30. Become an urban forager (fallenfruit.org)
LOL - my parents were doing this before it was hip
31.  Eat Sustainable shrimp
32.  Eat free food
See comment #9
33.  Heritagefoodsusa.com = get on their mail list
34.  eat sustainable sushi (seafoodwatch.org)
35.  Become a locavore: eat foods that have been grown/produced near your home (100milediet.org/get-started/map)
This would suck if you didn't live in CA
36.  Bike
37.  Support your local green restaurant (eatwellguide.org)
38.  Get a stainless steel lunch box (like Bento!)
39.  Eat more tofu
(but i also heard if guys eat too much, they're estrogen levels will fly up)
40.  Don't let tea water get scalding/whistling hot: bring it only to a boil
41.  Use your dishwasher efficiently  (energy star-rated are even better)
42. Reuse plastic bags OR get a good grocery tote
43.  Mix your drinks:  Try boxed wine (threethieves.com)
44.  Take the leftovers to go
wow, you can really tell this magazine is for rich people... of COURSE you take the leftovers home!
45.  Pack a lunch
46.  Support your local winemaker
47.  Read Edible Estates: to see how to turn lawns into productive vegetable gardens
48.  Eat the greens of the plant instead of throwing them away
49.  Plan your paper use (ie use washcloths instead of paper towels)
50.  Recycle the magazine.


From this list I realized, Asians were green WAY before it was cool to be green.  Simply because we're industrious, wastenotwantnot people... who pickle EVERYTHING instead of throwing it away.

secretariat pt 2

okay, so the ending was crazy.
i love races
that horse was so beautiful
everything was so beautiful.

smiling family, good sportsmanship, striking actors/actresses, and a great soundtrack. just great sound/music choices.


i dono.. WHAt exactly the message is.
i'm going to write about this later.

basically the reason i want to though is b/c my mom likes this so much.
and maybe i just have a lot of personal issues that i want to work out.

but basically......... i just don't like it when a lot of issues gets merged into one.  in this movie, a lot of issues got merged into one main issue, when it wasn't that.  anyway yeah.

secretariat

so my mom LOVES this movie.
and i watched it.

and i'll say a few things later, but i wanted to say this now.

during the scene where the woman looks at the horse and "communicates"... i used to LOVE those moments.  I'm sad that I don't care about animal-people connections anymore.  Or that I scoff at it.

Actually, i'm not sad that I don't care.. I'm just sad that I changed.

HAHa. because I don't like change.

I used to LOVE horses.  like really love them.  like.. pretend my bicycle was a horse and neigh like a horse and feed the next door neighbor's horse licorice stalks.... and read all the black stallion books and watch all the movies.


the end.


i still like unicorns. hehehehehehehehehe

random answered prayers about church

Or stuff that I didn't even pray about that happened!

* babies.
I remember at EBCB freshman year, I was really disappointed because there were only 2 babies, Elijah and Sammy, and both babies were shy.  Now, there's like a gazillion.  and ALL of them LOVE me the MOST!  (or they will...>:])

*youth group
Ditto above.  Except they don't know me, and I'm not a part of it (yet).  But I'm excited.... it's exciting.  When I came to EBCB, we started EAT in order to try to reach kids that way and start a youth group.  But the youth group just sort of started with other kids.. and that's just cool.

*local mercy ministries
In the beginning of this year, PJ told us that he wants our church to engage in more local, compassion work (ie expand on what we have currently).  That just sounds super cool (since I'm not sure how it will practically be worked out), and it's an answered prayer!

*a bosom friend
This prayer/desire was answered differently.  I think I spent the first 20 years of my life looking for my own Diana Barry.  I think over the years, God taught me people come and go, and that He's created me to be able to continue to keep in touch and keep up my relationships.... I think learning that, and learning that not everyone was "like me" helped resolve a lot of hurt and has resulted in a lot of new, sweet companions.

*connection with my pastors
You know that your relationship with your pastor's not great when after your first sermon, you never wanted to come back.  (To be fair, my first sermon at EBCB was on celibacy (1 Corinthians 7), the bus had broken down so I had to sit on this plastic non-seat in Sara (then Oh, now) Kwun's car, and EBCB had uncomfortable pews!).  Then afterwards, if you inform the pastor that you "don't agree with most of what he has to say but you like the people"....  oh golly.

Anyway, long story short, I love PJ, his family, his integrity, his teaching, his leadership. wahoo.

*older people
I think the median and mode of ages at EBCB my freshman year was .. like 22.  Now, it's definitely older, more diverse...  i loooooove that.  I *really* didn't want to go to a "Korean" church.  I think around my junior year, we hit the milestone of "maybe there's more Chinese people than Koreans!" and now, it's just a mixup  (although it's still heavily Asian. but now I love Asia too. so that's great!)

*lunches
Okay, this was not a prayer request EVER. but seriously, our lunches are getting so much better. hahahha.  (I mean, i came from this larger Korean church that served hefty gomtangs and bibimbaps for lunch...that I always got for free (usually $2) since I always knew the parents manning the $. hah)  And please (with all due respect), I know some people like it, but can we please phase out that white rice+cheese+broccoli+chicken dish FOREVER?  It's so random that even when it's fully cooked and warm with tapatio, my brain gets very confused.   :-D


Okay wow, the end.
(I originally intended to only write about babies and local compassion ministries...)

explaining new trends

I'm glad God created me with an appreciation for arts and crafts.
Actually, I bet he created everyone with an appreciation for arts and crafts.  They just come out in different ways (whether through "crafty" math problems or through a romp in the wild outdoors).

Anyway, I've been puzzled at "changes" I see in my life, because I'm one of those people that desperately cling to the quotidian.

I like how people can see me and comment that "I haven't changed"; whether it is the old family friend commenting on my cheeks or the high school classmate commenting on my jokes.

But I do.  My interests, or where my time has been spent is changing.  I realized this might be because with my added time (away from school), I've had the opportunity to explore hobbies.  And with blogs from amateur experts, I can vicariously live through what they do, and I see that little bits rub off on me.

Some changes were expected.
For instance, reading copiously.  I wasn't able to read in college, and now that I'm out, I'm back to reading my old favorites and picking out the new YA lit that's out there.  I realized children's and YA lit are my favorite... they're timeless.  I love it.  Not to mention, I had to read a bit for my work, and since I love being "hip and with it" I started to read books they recommended to me!

Another change that is more interesting to me is an added interest in fashion.  I guess it was inevitable, since my mom loves to dress well, and my sister is a shopping queen.  I think I'm getting better though!  My eye is being honed, AND the fashion these days ARE fun.  Gone are the midriff baring tanks and flared sparkly jeans (Okay fine, I loved them back in the day).  And now it's a throwback to the 50s classic pieces.  I love the idea of sewing (key word: idea) and re-making clothes.  I used to do that in high school in my attempts at individuality.  And lastly, it's not necessarily fashion, but just knowing how to dress for one's body and how others should dress for theirs.  I guess my mom religiously pounded that into me back in the day... heh.

So in addition to that, I like hair and makeup.  I love how braids are back, and I can go back to my Barbie-days, but instead of Barbies I have friends' and my own hair.  And makeup, it's just fun to see and know and experiment and critique.

And the last fun thing about fashion is that it appeals to my inner competitiveness.  I like it when I try something and it shows up in a magazine later.  I like it when I predict something and it comes true.  I guess it's pretty easy since societal trends are dictated by the "higher-ups", but still, it's nice to be the lemming that's one foot ahead of the other lemmings.

Last trend:  being in on the news.  I guess it comes from listening to the radio with my different commutes... and honestly, if it were not for the gas, I would LOVE driving.  In fact, i LOVED driving in high school as well.  I love the radio.  The country station, the oldies station (gone now), the classic big band station (there's been times where all I listen to is the boom ba ba), and of course, NPR.  I love just knowing and learning random tidbits of facts and then learning about current events and history.  I LOVE how when you know history, you can CONNECT THE DOTS!!!!   I love that.

Something I try to do but I'm lazy about:
gardening
eating more veg.
jogging
working out on my own.

The last part is hard because I'm used to team sports and being forced to go....

something that I'm working on:
Being okay with being alone.


I think that last part has a LOT to do with the previous trends in my life.


Anyway, I guess that's all.