Sunday, November 29, 2009

a happier note

Found out that a few of my old youth group leaders are getting married soon!
I'm excited and happy for them, I feel a pang of regret for one of my youth leaders and hope she gets married sooooon...

Facebook is a double-edged sword, since I get to keep in touch with people from the past, but I also get to see beyond the church-facade they displayed at church. In one sense it makes me feel sick and again, grateful to have been saved from that church culture of hypocrisy, where you worship God on Sundays while working over the Saturday hangover.

And then, I feel incredibly superior and legalistic... like "how dare you get drunk." Of COURSE getting drunk is a sin, but my issue is that my attitude is incredibly hoity-toity... and I feel really low and let down by seeing old sunday school teachers with pictures like that, or even seeing captions like "girls .. blah blah blah". In my head I frown and thing "you're not a girl, you're an old woman, grow up."

It's rather all really mean in my head.

I guess, again, I need to take people off their pedestals.. and not expect them to be somebody just because they led things.. and I'm thankful for older teachers who were faithful to the Lord first and didn't just do an act for Sunday.

I'm thankful for a church now where people straightforwardly and unabashedly love the Lord and understand worldliness for what it is.. instead of explaining it away, they admit struggles and work to find the balance between liberty and edification.

Also.. the REAL reason for this post... (so random, I can't believe I got carried away with the abovE)........... it's sort of scary to see my sunday school teachers getting engaged now.. because.. PLEASE, I don't want to be getting engaged 10-15 years from now. :-( :-( :-(

i don't think i normally say things publicly about marriage etc, so that will be it. BUT surriously; maybe it will be some sort of humbling season God will put me through because i'm so chockfull of pride.. but... yagh. even if it means i'd have the means for some crazy extravagant wedding (like one of my teachers).. i'd rather not marry a guy who's pushing 40 when i'm in my mid 30s. That's all.

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