Friday, December 24, 2010

with friends like shmalice...


me: we can commute tochurch ogether

and go to ebcsv bible study
and THEN u can make the switch
and we can live togehter
for ever
forever

Alice: and then we should get married.

me: .................
alice
i dont swing that way
i told you thatbefore
but, if it's shaking you up
then, well

Alice: you're basically dropping the towel

me: we gotta cool it.

Alice: into my face

me: DO U MEAN... HANKERCHIEF?
AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA
AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHH

Thursday, December 23, 2010

eyes like the clouds, puffy


when dreams are more pleasant than reality, of course you’d want to waste your time away in bed.
i had 2 great dreams last night. vivid too. mm.

Friday, December 17, 2010

soo...

maybe i'll do this:  not apply to harvard this year.. i just feel like i don't have a strong application.. i dont know faculty, i have good ideas but not a lot of experience... i am just a piglet in a world of boars...
and if i don't get into any schools at all, apply to SJ State, be really active in the  blogosphere / read a lot of harvard profs (to learn about research), get my teaching credential... and during that time, apply to an MA program.. and go for 2012-2013.

Sigh..

i wish i'd been more proactive early.


do.
hard.
 things.

instead of chatting online like an idiot.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

thoughts flowing thru my brain

owie pimple
food inc made me sad/grossed out/overwhelmed
sad: people that are used/abused (gave me a different perspective on illegal immigrants)
grossed out:  animal mass production is le nast
overwhelmed: i don't want to spend more $$ on food.  i don't want to forgo reese's peanut butter cups.

i checked out percy jackson #3..
should i go to bed like a responsible adult or stay up and read?

maybe.. just the first few chapters?...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

mockingjay *spoiler*

so, hunger games.
i didn't like mockingjay, all throughout.
was it just me or did she switch to first person?
that made things difficult.
collins is smart.
she kept you guessing.
before even reading the book, i told people, i didn't know how i wanted the series to end.  i didn't know how the series could possibly end well.
i must admit the prose wasn't as riveting, there were no parts where the tears ran down my cheeks.
granted finnick and cinna all had places in my heart.. but for the most part, i impatiently skimmed through sections, bored by the training, bored by the angst, bored by misunderstanding.

and in the end, it made sense that she ended with peeta, no matter how much i preferred gale.  again, that theme of complements and how gentleness overrides passion once again proves true..
something about humility, earnestness, humanity, weakness ..

in that twisted capitol. with twisted characters. twisted minds.  and the only honest being is the purported villain snow.  and the roses.  and prim.  and i knew the cat would come back.  somehow somewhere.  i knew that gale's anger would backfire. (being able to predict important devices.. if not the plot is something i can thank my grade school education)  but collins was still subtle.  this book was definitely heavier.  something i appreciate about both collins and rowling .. is how they took a lighter book and definitely evolved it to make their audiences think.

hunger games.  definitely a fun series.  depressing. makes you think about people..
i love. scifi.
i probably wouldn't read this again.


i loved the first one the best.  the second one was even more amazing in terms of torrents of emotions.  the third was subdued emotionally, frustrating, but it ended well. and props for that.. for convincing me that this was the ending....


it doesn't help that midway through the book (begun around 3 am) it began to gently rain.............


oh dear.

6:37am.  should i wake up?

why bother

my uc berk app sucked
and for my stanford app, i messed up on the recommendors part... so i basically just submitted 3 edu. recs rather than a professional one.. and that sucks.

i also realized i've been flaking and i should've notified faculty earlier.

so i kind of just want to throw in the towel and try again next year.

b/c this is definitely not my best foot forward.

and i feel sucky sucky sucky.

in a God is sovereign, hold plans loose kind of way.

haha ........

i just mess up a LOT.
and they're all preventable mistakes.
that's what bugs me.


it's like... i'm a neat, orderly, anal person locked up inside a clumsy, impulsive, mistake-prone person.  HELP HELP ME OUT!


i'm like a perfect, explosive mixture of my mom and my dad. -___- groan.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

tutoring

so i'm at college track and even though i feel REALLY awkward.. it's a chill place and i really enjoy it..

i got hired for writing.
bUT i'm actually tutoring a lot of geometry, algebra 2 and pre-calc.

i like it.  but it's embarrassing trying to brush up on my theorems / proofs.. and remembering stuff....

like

explaining ...

and here are some crucial words/phrases i forgot:
coefficient
cube root
CPCTC
SAS/SSS/ASA ... etc


as i tutor in these subjects, i flip flop between feelings of "WOW i'm a GENIUS" and "WOW i'm STUPID"



the most awkward parts is helping a student with Spanish when another latino student is sitting at my table. -_-  my accent sucks now...