so

Reading short stories from LM Montgomery and getting teary after each story.
I wondered in the MRT, why I get teary.
Perhaps the idea of people learning gratitude makes my heart ache a little.

When I was little I prided myself in being a rock. I didn´t cry. I looked down on my mom´s constant crying (praying, movies, talking, sharing) and I was definitely uncomfortable when others cried.

I cried only in movie theaters in that safe haven of dark and make believe.

Now, I tear up a lot. Maybe I'm more my mom than I thought; or I guess tears don't equal weakness to me anymore.


Watched Becoming Jane last night. Felt so hopeless and helpless for Jane Austen... yet also drawn to her situation. I always like to imagine myself in the heroine's shoes (provided she's a heroine i admire).


Lastly:
I think the reason that Christian fiction fails is because they are usually stories with the supernatural element of God. Yet, why read make believe when you can read truth? For every Christian romantic novel out there, you have five real stories of how so and so met their true love. For every adventure Christian novel out there, you can get a bunch of memoirs and biographies of true wars and daring escapades and displays of human weakness and dependence on a God of strength.

That's why I think for Christian books to succeed they need to be very allegorical and fanciful. Plus those are just the best.


Last Lastly:

I was reading a correspondence between a friend and i a few months ago and was just kicking myself in the foot over how he listened to me and responded in a way that was kind to my nonsensical ranting despite his mindset being completely different from mine. And yet during "his turn" I was so quick to judge and teach instead of listening and loving. I wish i hadn't done that.