hmm

had a bout of insanity the other night.
started off with a marvelous face paint job (flower faerie)
ended with sleeping outside on the deck in a sleeping bag, freaking out every time i heard a creak and telling at my whimpery/barking dog to be quiet until i fell asleep in the yellowy dusky starless blurry night.

do you know why communication is important? (edit: i originally wrote “impossible” .. freudian slip for ya)
without it your parents have retarded expectations and get pissed when you don’t fulfill them.

AHHHHHHGHGHGHGHGHGHHGHGHGHGHGHGH

lovely .just lovely

and no privacy so you’re just stuck with this tight feeling and brimming eyelids that hurt because you keep them dry.

waHh

*ironic lol* … lame. hahah. - _-

in other news, im watching Triple right now

i rewrote the end chunk of habakkuk in sept 07. LOL

Though I am isolated and alone
And there be no friends to comfort me,
Though I feel ugly and fat
And a failure in all my endeavors
Though I make dumb, irreversible decisions
And my path appears bleak 
Yet I will exult in the Lord
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
the Lord God is my strength
And He has made my feet like that of a deer
And makes me walk in high places.
(3 Junithians 1:1-3)

broken

when i see broken, jaded, disillusioned people about me, it makes me marvel at the grace of God that tenderly cradles me when i’m broken, purposefully chastises me when i’m proud, and continually keeps me all my days.

"You can do more than pray, after you have prayed, but you cannot do more than pray until you have prayed."

- John Bunyan

impracticality

"you never think of the stuff you need for camping, you just think of sunshine and flowers and singing on the hill tops…. what are you gonna do at night? " - My sister after she brought up mosquitoes to negate my plan to sleep outside

intrestin' conversatins tody

i got my eyebrows threaded today and i was appalled

i came home i was like “JOY I HATE MY EYEBROWS”

later she was like

“it’s probably because you’re used to them being so bushy.  i was going to say i liked your eyebrows until you came in all mad”

also i got my glasses yesterday and i was getting headaches and stuff, but now im used to them.  i realized my ears are crooked b/c if i stick them on my face perfectly they’re tilted :-(

I also realized that the glasses i picked b/c they were cute are from baby phat -_-

i looked at my glasses case and went o_O and then sure enough those were the glasses i picked.. i just didnt know the little cats meant baby phat.

aigo.

class

when i was talking about act 1 scene 1 in romeo and juliet, we were in the scene where Lady Capulet tells her husband he needs a crutch not a sword

me: “So honestly, who’s wearing the pants in this?”
eric z: “uh, everyone.. hopefully.”

LOL

also yesterday we had a schoolwide lock-in and the kids asked me what i should do, and i said “i’d rather you guys die reading romeo and juliet than not…” so we just kept on reading etc.

i heard it was a trespasser

turned out later it was an armed guy running from the police O_O

funny happenings with or near janet

yesterday i was chatting with janet

Janet: on my busday

me: yees?
6:02 PM 
whats “on my busday”

(tomolla)

Janet: on my birthday

lol

me: wait

but why did u say that?

hahah

Janet: cuz its fobby sounding
6:03 PM 
me: icic

.. is anysing goin on?

im just confused

b/c u imed me with “on my busday”

and there was nussing before it

Janet: ohhh

i said

my internet is sucky right now
6:04 PM 
my internet is sucky right now

me: oh.

…. okay

“my internet is sucky right now on my busday” ?

Janet: COME HANG OUT WITH ME TOMOLO ON MY BUSDAYYY

are you getting the messageeeeeee
6:05 PM 
??

me: OHHH

AHAHAHAHAHHAAH

OKAY!

I WILL!

—-
hehehehe so fanny. b/c that was really the conversation.

***

so last night richard, estera, janet, and i were on tokbox mass video chatting.
twas fun . i love video chatting
throughout the night justin saeheng joined, sal and grace stopped by, so was kevin.
actually richard, estera, janet, kevin and i were chatting and waiting til 12 to sing janet happy birthday.

then janet’s battery ran out but i was almost asleep so everyone left.. and then janet suddenly comes on and she looked so bewildered that everyone left. HAHAHAHHA. so it was just richard and me.

then she made estera come back
and we were waiting til 12 and i lay on my side just so i could be more comfortable..

i guess i fell asleep…

janet took a video of the screen:
imagine: one box where Janet looks all expectant and happy
one box where i’m conked out sleeping
one box with richard singing in his wifebeater, the screen reflecting off his glasses
one box with estera singing too.

and.. how sad.. it was the two pretty badd-est singers in our class singing to janet.. over video chat, while one friend slept…… how things have fallen since the college years when we’d burst into rooms with cakes and flowers and love… hehehe but there still was love. AHAHAHHAHA

—-

today i was driving to Fremont to eat lunch with Janet and you know how if you stick paper to your bottom lip, it sticks? so while listening to stuff about Sarah Palin, i stuck my directions on my lip for the WHOLE trip… unfortunately my lips dried or something. so i tried to take it off but it was stuck! like my skin began to come off! and so the left side of my lip began to bleed…… boo.

i seriously considered walking into Sweet Tomato with paper stuck to my lip, but i couldn’t read the directions since they were upside down.

The end!

we got pedis. :-)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANET AND LENA

how are ya feelin?

“Hopeless” is such a sinking word.
Seems too extreme, ya know?

but every time everything starts to stifle, that word comes up.

that’s what happens when you sin, and can’t find it in you to repent, and are too stubborn to fess up. and then you get this sinking feeling and wonder if you could ever love and wish that you were dead not because you’re a melodramatic suicidal teenager but because there are so many promises for your glorified state.

and then you revert back from your reverie and realize you’re still here, stuck, prideful, and hopeless. desperately so.

and then that. just. sucks.

words

there’s a difference between denotation (dictionary definition) and connotation (the feelings/associations connected to the word). I taught that today in class.

As a result, I am going to say Good Luck and allow others to say Good Luck without feeling any stinging sort of criticism of “hey, that’s unbiblical, because as a firm promoter of God’s sovereignty, I don’t believe in luck but rather I function under the truth of His providence.”

I refuse to substitute Good Luck with Godspeed, Good Providence or any of that sort. Who knows what Godspeed means any way, and Good Providence just doesn’t hold the same connotations as Good Luck does.

Sometimes I say Work Hard or I Hope It Turns Out All Right/Okay but really, sometimes Good Luck in all its brevity is just fitting for the conversation and/or occasion.

Don’t Pounce On Words.

there are more important things to NitPick