an attempt

macaronic

2012-01-10T14:52:00.001+08:00

that's the type of literature that I think is the new American literature.
It's a new word that I learned today.
Where the literature is bilingual.

Comp lit is the new American lit!
(That would've been my phD topic if I were going to be litracha docta!)

Beauty and the Geek

2012-01-06T08:38:00.001+08:00

So began watching Season 2... and it's pretty fun/ny.

I watch it, and I think gosh, i'm really smart. In both pop culture AND tech stuff. Whoo! haha.

Except, as soon as I think I'm smart, I just realize, gosh, these people are really dumb.. and i'm dumb for competing with them. (you know, like how you shouldn't race a 5 year old?)

I'm sad b/c my favorite geeks are being eliminated.. in such close rounds too :(
I liked Brandon a lot. He was like this awkward but smart and nice and not too awkward guy. the kind that wears an okay shirt but then tucks it into his ill-fitting jeans.. with a belt. He slicked his hair to the side too. PLUS I liked Amanda too. She had a really ferocious look about her in a cool way.

I liked Tyson :( He was so asian. haha. Except Thais, his partner, was cute, but REALLY dumb.

AT the end, when both eliminees reflect, the girl says how much the guy became comfortable.. (which i think just happens b/c geeks are pretty normal when they get comfortable), but when the guy says the girl is really intelligent and beautiful inside out, i snorted when Tyson said that about Thais. because .. she was just ... lol.

The geeks are so funny.
And the girls' commentaries on them are so funny/stupid too.

Actually, Chris is kind of bitter and scary. He needs to change.

The other guys are ok. The guy that looks like Napoleon Dynamite is kinda creepy too.

My favorite is Josh. His POV is awesome. And he's such a nerd. hahaha. Poor him. He has Cher as his partner and she's cutthroat and scary.

and there's this one brunette who just sounds like a blonde. I love interviews with her. B/c she's so blonde.. and so clueless about it.. and pretty sweet actually.

"You know what, I look so good, I'd hook up with myself" - Josh. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The Voice

2012-01-04T06:47:00.002+08:00

Began watching the voice on hulu.

Dude, I always liked Blake Shelton; he has the nicest eyes and most intense gaze ever, but Adam Levine, even though his music creeps me out, is seriously the hottest guy ever.

I heard that christina aguilera goes tranny here, but she's not.. thaaat. bad. and i love her voice.

cee-lo. meh. he seems so shady. maybe it's the shades.

actual voice-wise, there are only a few that really stick out to me ...

honestly,
the song / voice that stuck out to me most is the singer from the Lowe's commercial that kept on popping up during the breaks.
I looked it up:

love it.

I don't usually do these but...

2012-01-02T15:22:00.000+08:00

1) Sleep in the PM.
Why?
If i sleep on time, I'll wake up on time.
If I wake up on time, I won't be rushed.
Sleeping is a good discipline.
If i'm disciplined in sleeping, it will help me be disciplined in other areas. Mainly in spending time with the Lord. and being neat.
so..
1a - spend time with God regularly
1b - be neat
1c- don't procrastinate.

2) Exercise more. (regularly)
I would like to wear a pair of size 2/3 Lucky brand jeans by the time Spring rolls around.
I would also like to not have soft arms for my brother to jiggle }:(
2a - eat healthier
2b - eat less desserts

3) Listen more
Don't monopolize
Think before you disagree
Think if it's worth disagreeing with.
LET THINGS GO.

Recipes I tried this season

2011-12-27T04:31:00.000+08:00

http://www.joythebaker.com/blog/2009/10/persimmon-pudding/
pretty good. lots of oven time = lots of energy. maybe just make persimmon bread next time.

http://smittenkitchen.com/2008/02/best-chocolate-pudding/
Really good. instead of cream and eggs, used whole milk and cornstarch. Not too sweet.
Put it into puff pastry cups and sprinkled pomegranate seeds on top (rather than whipped cream). Would like to do with with phyllo dough cups next time.

http://www.maangchi.com/recipe/galbijjim
Loosely followed a tripling of this recipe but began with wayyyy too much water. We had to cook it a long time to reduce it, but long stove time = lots of energy. Also, instead of sugar, I use honey.

In the future, I'd sautee the garlic, onion, soy sauce, and gogi before I pour water and everything.

Also, added potatoes and button mushrooms to the mix (rather than just radish and carrots) and heckkk no am I going to cut the veggies into little balls. that's lame.. and way too much work.

Taste? = great!

And then of course, tried and trues: bacon-wrapped dates. (mi favorite!)

Bones

2011-11-13T06:50:00.000+08:00

Eww.... I got the skeevies when Bones told Booth she loved him.
I literally made a disgust face. Yikes.

Also, I don't get it. How did they have a baby in the first place?

Anyway, I have to finish my research paper.

I used to love Bones despite its suckiness.. but last season there was no actual "solving".. just Bones "hearing" from the bones. and it's just lame.

blehgh.

My last piece on Steve Jobs.

2011-11-01T14:00:00.000+08:00

I just read the eulogy by his sister: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/30/opinion/mona-simpsons-eulogy-for-steve-jobs.html

as I read this, I see people grasping at straws.
I see a man who was self-sufficient and good at what he does.
Who was good at being "good" and yet, that's not enough, is it?

Steve was not a saint. Not even close. The news/anecdotal accounts/hushed stories attest to that.

and yet, he affected his family so deeply. the people he touched. and here is a man, that may be closest to one who universally affected the world. the contemporary alexander the great, caesar, or King Solomon, if you will.

Yet Solomon's wisdom prevails. All is vanity. There is nothing new under the sun. Steve may have done his best at making his mark, but in the end, he will fade into history.

His last words tear at my heart. "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow." I wonder. were these words uttered in rapture or horror? What did he see past those shoulders? Those two words, expressed through a dying man's lips. A man whose physical being will pass away, but whose soul will remain forever.

It hurts my heart. Because he was a "great" man.. but greatness does not make for salvation.

What did he see? Did he see the depths of hell automatically or did he see the complete righteousness of Christ illuminating the complete failings of his sin? What will I see?

Even so, it is well with my soul.

nostalgia

2011-10-21T23:50:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=Ot_AqGfTjjg

I was watching this and I felt sad because I miss those old sepia toned movies, where there's the quick, bantering dialogue and the relative sweetness. Seeing those 4 guys harmonizing and singing together, looking young and sharp, smiling, it's sad.

Good bye Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T10:26:00.000+08:00

I only got on the Steve Jobs fan club in this past year. Mainly because as I worked at College Track (co-founded by his wife) and began to play around with Apple stuff, I realized he knew what he was doing.
I appreciate just his hard work, his creative genius, how he opened the doors for other young eager entrepreneurs to continue.

I'm mainly writing though because I feel sad for his family. Okay, I never actually face-to-face met Laurene Powell Jobs... I once saw her back at the Justin Bieber College Track benefit concert. BUT at least that humanizes the family a bit for me. And I'm sad that there was so much stock shakiness when Steve Jobs would take leaves of absence. I'm sad that people freaked out about APL when he decided to resign. I'm sad that he didn't resign earlier ... (I feel like maybe he tried but then for the sake of people freaking out, maybe he came back?)

I just wish he had had more time with his family. I dono. . :/

Uh oh, Taylor Lautner's actually acting

2011-09-24T14:41:00.000+08:00

And no werewolf business either.

Alfred Molina, you're so awesome, why are you here?

gravelly, sinister tone: "Listen to me, Nathan, we're going to find you"
Nathan's deadpan cartoon boy voice: "Not if I find you first."

WHAT? Why? That literally makes no sense. RUN AND HIDE, NATHAN. RUN AND HIDE!

Good night.

3 Things about the Cronkhite Private Bathroom

2011-09-21T07:37:00.000+08:00

The automated paper dispenser is a little strange. Sometimes I stick my hands out and the paper doesn't come out. A friend taught me to just hit the bottom, and it comes out. Someone else told me that I can just gently tug.. and it'll come out. HOWEVER, SOMETIMES when I walk in and the light goes on, THE PAPER DISPENSER DISPENSES PAPER! Or.... when my shadow hits it. anyway, it's strange.

It has the water conserving toilet. But I don't think it conserves water. B/c every time I pull up (For #1), the toilet paper never goes down. So then I have to reflush. I feel like two #1s > 1 #2. So.. they should just have it so that you flush it down normally. But I do appreciate the green handle.. does it really kill germs?

HOLY CRAP I POO'D 4 TIMES TODAY! <-- a tweet that I ended up choosing not to post.

the tendency to fall apart

2011-09-21T01:23:00.000+08:00

I skipped my S005 class this morning (it's offered online, but that still doesn't make me feel better about it). Last night went to bed around 1, and made the conscience decision .. to.. skip. :(
Woke up with a sore throat, took a much needed shower, hurtled it to class, came in at 10:40am and was confuse that class was in full gear. Around 11am, I realized the reason why there were so many notes and people seemed so on top of things was because ..... class doesn't start at 10:30am, it starts at 10!

Seriously?
-___-

I'm such a noob when it comes to things like this, and I fall apart so easily.
I don't know why "study services" / "student counseling" sessions are offered. When you probably need it, you're also super busy and you don't want to spend time talking to someone for .5-1 hour. When you DO have time, then you don't need it!

Instead of taking my lunch to my room, I sat and ate with people. that was good. I'm not more focused on this paper.

It's a puny thing, really. 500 words. Not too much. I think I'm freaking out unnecessarily.... pride? perfectionism? Am I a perfectionist? I didn't think I was. I think I'm more of a comparatist....... I compare myself to others, feel like I'm better, and get annoyed when I'm not.

Oh wait, what's that word again?

Oh yeah.

PRIDE.

Living off Sovereign Grace music, Proverbs and 1 John. I try some Isaiah, but lately it's been really murky in those woods.

When I eat a meal, i eat A LOT, because lately I've been missing the times and skipping it.. and living like Lena and Kathy.. on fruit and nasty almond butter without salt.

Think about this often:

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil, for he gives to his beloved in his sleep. (Psalm 127:1-2)

Pastor John from 1980:

I think the main point of these three verses is: "Don't eat the bread of anxious toil." It means just the same thing Jesus meant when he said, "Don't be anxious about what you shall eat."
When we grow up we must all work for our bread. And we can either work nervously, worrying about what men will think of us — and so eat the bread of anxious toil. Or we can work with serenity in our hearts, as serving Christ and not men — and so eat the bread of peace. God's will for his children, indeed the sign of whether we are children or not, is that we not eat the bread of anxious toil.
God does not lay down specific rules for how early we rise for work and how late we knock off at night. But he does lay down this principle for his beloved: Don't rise early and go late to rest out of anxiety, out of fear and fretfulness. If the joy of fruitful labor lures you to work 12 hours a day, so be it. But take heed lest you are really deceiving yourself, and in fact are being driven by anxiety, or by her twin sister, selfish-ambition.
Christians will work hard, but they will work more for the joy of all the good their work can bring to others than they will out of fear at what men will think if they fail. So,
Be diligent as God may lead
And eat the bread you earn,
But fret not over what you need
And let not worry burn.

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/hard-work-or-anxious-toil-a-christian-understanding-of-labor

la da da da da

2011-09-18T07:06:00.001+08:00

I have so much to do and I'm so bad at doing it.

Thoughts and Updates

1) I'm not used to being in school. Thus, it's been hard to balance readings and writings. Plus, the classes are all so different.

A) Managing Financial Resources in Nonprofit Organizations
GREAT Prof. I realized he has to be great. Because how am I staying awake for 1.5 hours listening to him talk about cash and accrual accounts and auditing and all that jazz? Also, I realized that EVERYTHING I had been doing as a work-study student as an Accounting/Admin Assistant has to do with ... drum roll............. CHART OF ACCOUNTS!!!!!!!!
So basically, things have been making sense, so I'm glad.
BUUUt I'm worried. I have now .. accumulated around 250 pages of reading that I haven't done yet. But... if I understand what's going on in class, do I need to do the reading?

B) Introduction to (Quantitative) Education Research
EASY prof. Who basically said we'll all get A's. Just learning basic stats. I've started to check my email in class... and stuff...... but he's really interesting, and I think I want to do an independent research project instead of the class assignments. Should I? It's semi-over-achieve-y ...... meh.

C) Leadership, Entrepreneurship, and Learning
AMAZING prof. She used to teach at HBS and came over to the Ed School. Case-based class and it's interesting. It's interesting not having a lot of reading, but studying a case and meeting with people outside of class on my own time to discuss it. I never thought I'd do things like that.

If you can't tell, classes A-C are electives.

D) Reading Development and Instruction.
AWESOME PROF! She's also the Program Director. She's DONE it all and knows it all. lol. About Reading, that is. And I'm having a great time LEARNING, but I'm behind on the reading, and a little intimidated by all these people who seem to KNOW everything about reading. I wish I'd taken my psych / ed classes..... oh well. Anyway, I have my first paper due, and I'm worried since it has to be about how I learned how to read... and I HAVE NO CLUE HOW I LEARNED HOW TO READ!

E) Adolescent Literature (module)
I was going to also take the Children's Literature module, but I think once this is over, I'll welcome the extra time. Love the instructor - she works in publishing and she's great. LOVE the reading..... i love reading.... i love it.. i love it..... Read some awesome YA books so far. Dang it, I want to take Children's Literature. I think I should continue. But that means I'm taking 20 units. o_O.

2) My job and internship are both pretty sweet.

A) The Harvard Bridge Program - Really cool concept. Harvard offers classes for workers at Harvard to take literacy, ESL, citizenship, computer, and other classes along with tutoring opportunities and stuff to help them out in terms of job mobility. The people I work with are great. I'll be mainly doing admin stuff, tutoring, and social media development. (8 hours, close to my place and the gym)

B) reDesign - a private, for-profit, small, education consulting company. Again. Great people. Cool ideas. Trying to get my feet wet in this whole "consulting biz" to see if I see myself there. I'll be working mainly with social media platforms here too. (7 hours, go to office 1x a week, and the rest from home)

3) I'm excited for church tomorrow!!!!

A) I visited Hope Fellowship yesterday and it was aiight. Really liked the sermon. But I don't know... I'll explain more later in person, if you want to know.

B) Excited to go back to Redeemer Fellowship tomorrow. Because I just loved it. And you know, I'd always be the girl telling people that when they're church shopping, they should try it out for 2-3 weeks at a time, really engage, and get to know a church. But I think I'm at a point where I know what I want and the rest is kind of non-essentials. It's the chem. and so yeah. I don't have too much time (I think.. i mean, who knows..) soooo I want to jump in asap. So yeah! and I think, yeah, just being happy about going back tomorrow, makes me happy. I love going to a church where people there love being there. Yaddamean?

4) So much to do here, so little time.

A) I really need to learn how to balance school work. I can't figure it out

B) I'm worried about my liver. All people do here is go out for drinks. I mean, the pubs and stuff here are REALLY cool.... historical, artsy, cultural, musical, etc. But my wallet, liver, and gut probably can't handle this if it becomes regular... which I think it is. Last night I tried just going to our cohort's happy hour and not ordering anything. No calories, no negative dollar(ies), hooray!

C) Today I could have gone to a concert, a classmate's birthday party, and a live band swing dance thing with my dorm mates. Instead, I worked out, helped out a friend by letting him do an assessment on me, and researched for my class. I wish I were able to do more things in a day. But today I have to work.. since tomorrow I'm going to Maine.

5) Interesting stuff up ahead!

A) I think I'm joining the HGSE for Haiti club and it's cool. I like meeting the people there, and yeah. I'll be treasurer, so that also adds to time commitments, but I've worked with grant writing before and it will be interesting learning this sort of money-managing thing.

B) This also means, this Winter, I may be in Haiti!

6) Little regrets

A) When I talk with people about classes they're taking, I wish I were taking it too. I wish I were taking Catherine Snow's class (From Language to Literacy) since she's literally a pioneer in that field AND even though I ran away from the whole idea of linguistics, I wish I didn't chicken out. Also I wish I were taking Chinese Comparative Education with Fong. I had cool ideas for the research proposals in that class.

B) I wish I had taught more before I came to HGSE. But then I couldn't get a job... so then I had to jump into grad school right away... it was kind of catch-22. But still. I miss teaching... but then, also, when I think about teaching, I think about Mrs. Chow. I think about CCS. I think about mean parents and apathetic kids. I already start feeling tired. One person said that she thought that maybe I'm a bit traumatized from my GCA experience. Maybe she's right. Anyway, I get anxious sometimes thinking about what I'm going to do for my job. Is it a given that I should expect to work 50-60 hours a week? Is it not possible to separate my job life from my work life? I feel like to do anything interesting, I have to put in 150%. To do anything tolerable and still have time for me to pursue my other interests, I'd be .. like.. a boring desk job at a university or something like that. God doesn't want me to be anxious. and I think about that a lot.

B) I'm eating too much and gaining the chubs :(

7) I miss calling my mom whenever I want to.

A) I think that was hard. Not just being able to call people on the spur of the moment to tell them about my day or tell them something cool.

B) I ended up calling Christy Pak a lot.
This is how I start my phone conversation, "Are you still unemployed? How's the job search? Okay, well anyway, let me tell you about ME!"

C) Anyway, I miss people. and it sucks that all my CLOSE FRIENDS have YET to email me ON THEIR OWN. They're all either replying BACK or ASKING ME FOR A FAVOR. (Do you feel guilty yet?)

8) I need a haircut

9) Food is better in California

10) I feel like such a hippie dippie here

A) I feel overly dressed up whenever I go to class

B) I am a bit frustrated that there's no compost bins at restaurants and people don't recycle properly

have to get this off my chest

2011-09-08T10:49:00.000+08:00

You know when you do something embarrassing, and you still think back on it and you shudder, because you're embarrassed?

There's only a few moments like that in my life (the pure embarrassment, no humor, just embarrassment)...

today was a moment that wasn't THAT bad but my mind keeps replaying it in my mind.

In my H818 class, my prof opens it up to discussion and people have lots of ideas. I kinda felt like a lot of people touted there "when I taught in X country.. blah blah" a bit, but it was fine.

When we got to "class norms" and the question was posed, what kind of norms should we have for our classroom, I thought (this was in the context of children and teachers and cultural biases) this question was directed to us as teachers with our own classrooms.

So... i open it up, stumbling and speaking too fast (when i get nervous i overspeak) about just my experiences dealing with cultural issues, identity, etc...... and how I want to open up my students for being able to dialogue not from just a "minority" standpoint and not to marginalize the "dominant culture" kids either.. (i can explain later.. this isn't the point)...

So then my professor nods and goes, so... open dialogue? and i'm a little confused and go "yeah"

and the TF writes it down.

and then someone else says "I think people should say each other's names"
and then someone else says "i think we should try to be understanding of each other's viewpoints"

and THEN so on.

and THEN i realize.. after like the 4th or 5th point.. that.... WE WERE WRITING CLASS NORMS FOR THIS CLASS.. FOR THE CLASS I WAS IN.. SHE WASNT ASKING ABOUT HOW WE BUILD NORMS FOR THE CLASSROOM BUT FOR THIS SPECIFIC CLASS.
and i had NO REASON

TO
TALk
ABOUT
ANYTHING
THAT
I DID

I FEEL
LIKE
SUCH
A
LOOOOOOSEEEERRR!!!!!

gAH!

foot in the mouth

freaLZ!

Field Trip to Historic Concord Email

2011-09-07T05:04:00.001+08:00

It's all boring and normal until you get to the bottom. LOL LOL LOL. I love being here.. I didn't realize how fun bookish nerdyness could be!

Meet: 11:15-11:20am on Porter Square commuter rail platform

(see entrance, separate from subway entrance, on plaza)

Depart: 11:30am sharp (arrive in Concord 12:03pm)

Return: 3:31pm from Concord train station (arrive in Porter Square 4:02pm)

Highlights: downtown Concord; the Old North Bridge (American Revolution battleground site); and the Old Manse (home of philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson’s family; residence of novelist/short story writer Nathaniel Hawthorne)

Additional sites to choose from, time permitting –or for those who’d like to return on the later 5:58pm train: Authors’ Ridge (gravesites of Emerson, Thoreau, Hawthorne, and the Alcotts); Orchard House (home of Louisa May Alcott, author of Little Women); Emerson House (where an HGSE grad will soon be living as caretaker); Walden Pond (subject of Thoreau’s eponymous book); Great Meadows Wildlife Refuge; Concord Museum….

Costs: $12.50 train fare ($6.25 one-way fare to and fro Concord); $6 admission fee to Old Manse

Reasonable Suggestions: *Wear your walking shoes, because we’ll probably be walking three miles or so (five or more if you go to Walden Pond to swim afterward and catch the later train). *Bring your lunch—or enough change to buy a quick sandwich on the way to the Old North Bridge and the Old Manse— so that we can picnic in the meadow by the river. (We have a 1pm tour scheduled at the Old Manse.) *Do a few minutes of online research about Concord if you’re not familiar with the American Revolution or the Transcendentalist literary movement!

Unreasonable Suggestion: *Read the complete works of Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, the Alcotts (Louisa May and her father, Bronson), Nathaniel Hawthorne, Margaret Fuller, Herman Melville, Walt Whitman, and all of the Abolitionist poets and philosophers who were tromping around eastern Massachusetts back then!

The Church Search

2011-09-05T04:36:00.000+08:00

So, I initially was sold on the idea of relocating because I thought I'd be attending a church with most of my friends from college. But as time passed, I realized I wanted to see what else was out there, and I wasn't super keen on going to a large church with people I already knew from the past.

Besides, I'm not the type of person that needs to "feel" comfortable at a church to be there. I look at the church's genuinity/sincerity, the Pastor's humility and integrity... and that's that. Honestly, even with EBCB, I didn't LIKE PJ at first, but I really admired his sticking to his guns, and I was blown away by the sincerity of the members... I was surprised that people actually read the Bible and liked it. haha.

Anyway, in California, I looked through the EFCA and 9Marks websites and just browsed the net. Came across a few and read through their statements of faith, emailed one, listened to a few sermons.

The church I *really* wanted to check out first (I really enjoyed the sermon) is actually no longer meeting - they don't have a building anymore!

Then it turned out that last Sunday, because of Irene, the public transpo was shut down and churches were closed! (Apparently, a very rare thing).

So, today was my first Sunday. I boarded a bus that was pretty close to my place, and it took around 15 minutes straight down the street to get there. Where? Redeemer Fellowship Church in Watertown, MA.

It's in this large historic looking church that was beautiful and people were warm and friendly. Actually, they were VERY welcoming (although sometimes, there WERE patches of awkward standing by yourself, feeling awkward... feeling awkward. Sure, it's seriously less than a minute, but. it. feels. so. long. . . !) It's a smaller congregation (apparently around 80ish people), started 2 years ago..... and basically (as one lady put it) a cross section of many cultures and stages in life. There were older families, young families, just-marrieds, singles, kids, various ethnicities (mainly Caucasian, few Asians, few everything else).

The acoustics in the building was amazing. I could barely hear the praise team because I was overwhelmed by the gustily singing congregation around me, voices echoing off the high roof and floors. The songs were familiar hymns, but we sang verses that are normally omitted at EBCB. I also learned a new song.

The pastor is sincere, and he preached on church unity in John 17. I wasn't too blown away by a sermon I had listened to online, but I really felt fed during today's sermon. It was part of Jesus' high priestly prayer, and he spoke about how Jesus makes 5 requests, and only 1 refers to us (" those also who believe in Me through their word"). And that prayer is for unity. He spoke on different causes for disunity (the most obvious being SIN, and then elaborating), and then explained how TIGHT this unity ought to be (Jesus compares the unity among the brethren with the unity between the Son and the Father). I sometimes feel like unity is overemphasized, but after this sermon, I'm glad that my church back home also emphasizes it. Pastor Chris also talked about unity in the context of the local church, which is also helpful.

As I was speaking with people, especially since this is a starting church, I'm realizing just ... yeah, the wisdom in going slow. This church also had a separate board of elders until recently (past January) when they finally got their own elders. It's great to hear about people being enthusiastic about being "biblically-founded" and "Christ-centered." For me, it was wonderful to hear, and at first I thought that well, these are buzzwords that people would love. But then I realized, they're only buzzwords to a crowd that WOULD want that. I don't know, do you follow?

Anyway, I plan on coming back a few more times and then I am going to check out Hope Fellowship Church and maayyyyybe Heart Change Fellowship.

Sorry, this is really disorganized, and the paragraphs aren't real paragraphs anyway... but yeah, I hope you can overlook that.

Some Learning Points:
- EBCB isn't weirdly obsessed with unity
- EBCB's elders are bonafide
- NEVER let a new person alone.... those minutes feel really long (Even if you're extroverted like me)

I mean, I REALLY liked it here, and part of me feels like well, it's fine, it's Biblical, I'll stay... rather than check out another one. But maybe I should look around? Even though at EBCB, all I did was come and stay. Hmm Hmm HMM

My First Week

2011-08-28T10:25:00.000+08:00

Got into my dorms at 1am on Tuesday.
Tuesday was a blur (woke up around 10ish and walked around outside in PJs.....NEWSFLASH: in BOSTON, NO ONE WALKS AROUND IN SWEATS!)

Wednesday: Full day

Thursday: Full day (went to bed around 3)
Friday: Full day (went to bed around 3)
Saturday: full day. (useless writing workshop, then cohort happy hour, then passed out in a huddle on my bed, then went to the hurricane irene party)

So, let's see.
My 2 boxes still haven't arrived.

I don't have certain essentials.

I love it here.

Kinda stressed about classes/internships, but making some *good* friends.
Thankful.

I forgot what I wanted to write on my list..........

OH i love my cohort and my program director is pretty amazing.

I'm happy.

I love private school. I'm gonna make sure my kids go to a public school and learn to earn their education. hah.

Getting excited about projects/research .... gonna try to test the waters for The Mind Garden.

I feel *very* California. Too relaxed. I say "like" and "dude". Good thing I don't say hella. I said "noob" and they didn't know what i meant. But i DID feel like a noob. I didn't bring an umbrella (still in my bag) b/c.. come on, it's SUmmer! I don't have rainboots yet.. and yeah.

but yeah. :)

Visit!

-.- but i love it here!

2011-08-27T14:17:00.000+08:00

Me: If I got a PhD -
Alice: you for suuuuure won't be getting married
Me: wait what really?
Alice: for suuuuure.
Me: no.
Alice: Dude I think so!
Me: nooo are you sure?
Alice: Yes. yeah you for SURE can kiss your eggs goodbye because you won't be using any

random memory i'd like to keep

2011-08-26T08:15:00.000+08:00

Bohyun and I got out of the car.
IT was dark.
I looked at the driveway and there was a black cat. Uh oh. I think. Bad luck!
It was heaving. Hairball. I think. Gross.
It kept heaving. Poor cat. I think.
It threw up finally, not a hairball but a big glob of orangey brown gook. AHHH. I scream.
The cat runs away. AHH! I scream. This is probably REALLY bad luck. a black cat crosses my path and throws up in front of me!
Sarah screamed too. REally loud.
Then as we walk, the cat follows. Then it leaves. Whew. I think.
THEN suddenly it appears and follows as I turn into the Emeryville house. I pick up the pace.
Sarah and I run into the house. We ran in our heels. We ran. Away from the throwup black cat.

(The throw up black cat earlier went back to sniff its vomit. Gross. You know what they say about a dog that returns to its vomit... I thought a cat would be smarter...)

2011-08-24T00:05:00.000+08:00

Hey Everyone,
I'm here. It was all in all a nice flight. My bags ALL fit and Kathy and Grace helped me run a BUNCH of errands before I left! In the first leg, I got stuck between a 79 y/o man with a French wife of 50 years and a larger white boy. The man likes bourbon and ferraris and talking about the war. I tried to sleep most of the trip.

Then I had an hour before the next flight, but pretty much just made it in time as they were boarding and chilled in my seat before take off.
I dozed on and off then too and listened to an old podcast of EBCB's Spotlight. It was bittersweet (Nate and Frank MCing, Pedro interviewing Frances, Cass's "Realization", and Ebony's announcements).

When I got off the plane, I got my bright pink bags RIGHT away... but then, I had the wrong phone number for Veronica (my pickup) and just waited at the airport....... and kiinda worried, but kinda didn't. B/c honestly, they speak English here, and that makes a HUGE difference. And Veronica and PaulJ just came! and got me!

And I'm in Cronkhite (used to be the all women's dorm for Radcliffe)! 3rd floor. A little closet of a room. Overlooking a sweet corner. Right next to the Kitchen, across from a bathroom, near the elevator. Sweet! It's a little confusing b/c MA law states that you need keys for the stairs. And certain stairs don't allow the keys, and.. there's swiping. Oh, Cronkhite is kind of like a low-key version of Dwinelle. My 3rd floor is only accessible through walking across the 2nd floor first. Oh well. Adventure. Basically, the front desk girl (Rebecca) knows me already b/c I kept on getting lost, having to go back down to the first floor, and walk back in through the lobby.

I probably won't be writing lengthy updates, but right now I'm procrastinating looking through courses and such. Love you all! Not too homesick... b/c seriously, Boston right now is kind of like Palo Alto. Pretty, cute, quaint buildings. People speak English.
I think the people speaking English part helps a lot. hahahahaha

The lights got brighter and brighter!

My door!

My room.

My view!

another milestone.

2011-08-20T08:35:00.000+08:00

So after lots of stress and craziness, today I moved ALL 26 of my boxes into Christine, Natalie and Junny's attic. (Thank you so much girls for your hospitality, flexibility, care, and love!!) You're probably thinking 26? What the. Let me explain. Only 7 of them were large boxes. The rest were small. some "boxes" were really just a backpack or a sleeping mat, that I still marked with my tag.
Anyway, I chatted with CMyung, and we always have the most eventful conversations.

Since everything was last minute, I managed to stick everything into my little Honda Accord and then proceeded to lug each box up the stairs. Then, I had to carry it up the ladder into their attic. The first box I tried to take up (the really heavy one) caused a lot of drama. I couldn't go up or down and my leg was shaking badly. It was frightening. I finally figured out how to get it up there... and then I took a quick breather and went down to get the rest of the boxes.

As I carried them up, I realized, that dude, I never have to get married. I am bonafide self-sufficient. I'm carrying 20+lb boxes up the stairs UP A ladder and storing it in an attic! Like a GI Joe! Christine (half-heartedly) countered, "It's not about carrying boxes, it's about companionship." But I feel like I have better companionship elsewhere. I voiced those thoughts. Then she responded (a little too enthusiastically), "NO DOn't say that!! But YEah! I feel like that too! I have a feeling that it's gonna be you, me, and Grace Son living together in the future." I cracked up at that. What a life. I bet Grace would get mad and tell me to take her off the list.

Anyway, afterwards my hands were tingly, I was sweaty, but I was done! All under an hour! But I think I broke their ladder (but apparently Junny's strong and can fix it? I guess if not, John can?).

Then I chatted a bit with le Myung. I think I thought a lot though, these past few days. Especially with my mom gone, me moving out, etc etc, and just reflecting and feeling isolated and alone (granted, this was late at night and I wasn't at the best emotional state).... sometimes I wonder if I'm independent because I put myself in this situation or if it's because others leave me alone. And then I wonder what the purpose of relationships and friendships are, if they continue to pass. I used to think relationships were like ponds, that simply grow deeper or shallower (depending on the rainfall or sun). But now, I see it more like a river, where different currents intertwine for a time, but then move on.

Anyway, I'm moved, I'm packed. They say "it's only ten months" but ten months is still a really long time. I also am afraid of the reality that I may not come back. If I'm not coming back, I want to know NOW and not 8 months from now. I don't want to find out in April that I'm staying in Boston. I feel like the more I want to return though, the more I'll have to stay. That's how my life works! Whatever I want, I don't really get.

Where will I BE? People tease me about marriage (don't worry, a guy would never be my reason for staying in Boston.. I mean really? Changing my life plans for a person I've known for like.. a few months? No thank you. I'm 24, not 44. Plus, Janet said she's gonna sabotage any relationship I have there, so I guess that's that. Lastly, I want to be the one with the advanced, frivolous degree.. a real man wouldn't be wasting his time in academia - he should focus on fixing a toilet (I mean if I'm saving money by cooking, he should save me on car and house upkeep!). HAHA. )... but I'm thinking.. I'm like almost too self-sufficient to need to be married. In fact, I can fix my own car, carry my own boxes, build my own shelf... I have applecare so I don't have to worry about computers. And if I can't.. my dad can.

So I guess until my dad dies, I can stay single and be relatively happy.

Unless this guy comes along.

But otherwise. meh.

Anyway, til next time.

smile smile smile

2011-08-10T13:57:00.000+08:00

yesterday i went to SJC and went to the parking lot.
it's $2 for 30 minutes. SO cheap. RIGHT next to baggage claims

when i ran in, there was no line. just a pleasant woman.
i got my backpack. everything was in it.
she was shocked when i said my laptop was in it.
i guess you're never supposed to check in a laptop b/c there's no reimbursement. eeps!

smile smile smile

this morning, i couldn't open the backpack zipper very well. realized nailpolish leaked on it.
opened my smaller pocket, saw that nailpolish had broken in a very bizarre way but the bottle didn't cut me b/c the nailpolish had leaked over it!

I had put it into the smaller pocket so it only got on the bottom of my sandals but not on my clothes!

my eyeshadow had also exploded.. but b/c i had kept it in a small makeup bag, only that stuff was covered in the dark fine powder.

I really have no idea how this happened.. but I do realize, NEVER check in a backpack, and ALWAYS compartmentalize!

I was so happy at the small blessings in my life.

I mean, yes, stinky stuff happened, but they pale in comparison to what COULD have happened!

a wonderful weekend (final Socal trip of 2011)

2011-08-08T15:50:00.000+08:00

Well, let me qualify my title: it was a wonderful weekend but ended up incredibly sucky, (no) thanks to Southwest.

I'll finish this later.

But:

Friday:
- picked up belated bday present to myself from UPS
- drove down.
* i LOVE the 5 drive.
the masses of sunflowers on the side of the I-5
the lack of traffic in the afternoon when the lanes are condensed to one
spanish music
news
cheesy christian c(h)ontemporary
rihanna
country
the radio stations along the I-5 are BOMB di-juh-tee!
- went to Forage with John Chizz and caught up
- went to some hookah bar/cafe with fcs Joy and caught up (with bad coffee, an okay crepe, and suffocatingly sweet hookah smoke that drifted in from other tables.)

Saturday:
- drove to the wedding with no issues with Abe (who never goes over 65! we were still super on time!)
- lovely lovely lovely wedding. (i was genuinely very very happy for charles and christine.)
- fun, engaging, lively reception
good catching up with my class at my table
great MCs
everybody were great sports.
- OC Fair with people
i realized i'm still scarred from last year's OC fair, where i made quite the first impression on Jen ex-Han.
urghle. so, i shied away from fried food
made Grace Dwej and Beekerz walk with me as i looked for Jumz
- Jumz&My Disney Date
Jenny is qualiTee.
"do you like caramel apples?" - yes
"do you like apple pie?" - yes
"do you like apple pie caramel apples?" - no ... how would I know?! -_- :)
we saw edward cullen twins
we watched / listened to various live musics
we tried out every freaking sample at sephora -_-
we consumed apples, kettle corn, and mojitos at various joints
we looked at disney princess propaganda and PERUSED THE LEGO STORE I LOVE LEGOS
we saw fireworks!
my blase attitude towards disneyland and fireworks was semiii converted. not entirely though.
i found a girl after my own trashy-music-heart. (she can bust out to country, nicki minaj, rihanna, and bruno mars with the best of them. HAH!)
by the time we got home, i was assaulted by her crazy dogs.
and my voice was gone and i was tired, but being the good host she is, she insisted i stay up and engage in "girl talk" and not fall asleep on her, like i did last time.... but seriously, i always fall asleep on her b/c .. well, we girl talk all the time. (when girls talk, is that not girl talk?)

Sunday
- waking up surrounded by dogs snuggled against you is surprisingly heartmelting
- found jenny and crawled into her bed and Bubba got mad but calmed down and then the dogs snuggled around us again and we slept some more.
- drove to starbucks
- john picked me up and he explained such SWEET things about why he was attracted to his special lady friend. i think john's the only person who could sincerely say these things, and i have no urge to tease or barf, but i'm just.. encouraged and happified.
- ate brunch with some ebcoc munchkins and listened to reallllly bad jokes that are only funny b/c they laugh so hard.
- caught up with china esther lee..... and it was good. encouraged by how good it was / how good it is now as she's phasing back in... (for me, in retrospect, easing back into ebcb after TW was really hard. especially since it felt like people were really busy with their lives and my close friends had left... i love you alicklee; God sovereignly didn't let you find a job until I was all nice and adjusted. i also love you 201 girls of americana. you are the most selflessly serving girls i have ever met.. in my... LIFE!)
- EBCOC - so sweet. loved seeing pastor dennis, dawn, and joy again. and then of course the other members. PD started on a series on the Attributes of God - of God's holiness. It was good, but i was getting realllllly sleepy. so i pinched myself. now my arm is covered with tiny welts. but, it was a good sermon - and i think i remember everything. so i feel pretty accomplished. i'd rather pinch myself than drink coffee.
- dinner with joy at Hilton Checkers restaurant
SO . SLOW.
but.
YUMMY
but..

i was running tight at LAX
but THEN
there was
(out of all the people with various issues in front of me)
- 2 european girls who had to pay extra b/c their luggage was too heavy
- a central/south american couple who had to rearrange the stuff in their luggage
- a mexican couple who.. i think had passport/ID issues (from what my eavesdropping ears could gather as they quietly stood while 2 men were speaking with them. yikes)
- an obese couple who didn't realize that they could move forward and not hold up the lines since there was an extra kiosk

in addition to a lot of other people.
also there were 4 ppl working.
one lady was old and definitely having difficulty with checking people and luggage in
another lady, after helping the european girls, left.
TWO men were working with the mexican couple
leaving.. only..... ONE (old) lady to help the rest of the people milling about.
It didn't help that the lady who left would occasionally walk by and joke around with the old lady.
please, i know, if you have other things to do, at least... don't rub it into our faces that you're not helping us by distracting the old lady and joking around with her! you may be able to multi-task, that old lady could not!

and.
so.
in the end.
my bag was marked late.

this was a backpack
it held (among other things).
a macbook
hair curling iron
contact solution (large bottle)
facewash (12 oz)
face lotion (7 oz)

i think i wouldn't've been able to carry it on.... (and when i was reasoning, i thought, it's such a hassle to carry-on a laptop, i'll just check it in.. plus i can't carry it on. i have liquids and gels and a potentially dangerous curling iron!)
but.. could i have?
or should I just have chucked the $25 worth of toiletries....

This question is niggling the back of my mind.

would that have been worth not having to....

meekly/prettily ask if i can cut twice in the TSA line
grabbing my bags and shoes and sprinting through LAX barefoot (while 2 people cheered)
making it on time since the flight was delayed (and running into Tony - a humorous twist of fate since i had just bade him farewell yesterday and told him matter-of-factly that i would most likely never see him again)
having to scan the check in luggage pick up area
wait in the southwest line
be told that since it was a late check in, it's my fault and they can't do anything about it.. and even though i half-heartedly brought up the fact that it's not my fault that their lines are slow at LAX AND that their workers are incompetent.. but yeah, no, this is SJC. if i have issues with LAX, have to bring it up with them.

I get to call back in about my bag and figure out when i can come back to pick it up (probably will have to take some time off work and park the car and walk in and wait in the office = more time and money and lost income).

i REALLY hope they don't lose the backpack... because i'd be very sad.
it has a dress, a new mbpro, my glasses, and a favorite pair of jeans.

Okay,
now.
i'm kind of sad.

I wonder. if i had just gone directly to carry-on, even though it would've been a hassle to unload the laptop, ... it wouldn't be worth all this extra driving hassle.
i'm sad.
i want to call southwest and complain
i could've complained at LAX.
but..
i was too tired.

next time, i should video camera the ridiculous line waiting.... then they'd understand it wasn't my fault.
boo.
hoo.
and yes, i'd like some cheese with this whine.

today

2011-08-04T12:27:00.000+08:00

after an impromptu shopping trip at stanford (which could be successful or unsuccessful, depending on how you look at it), i treated myself to haagen daaz for dinner.

i tried a few flavors and then settled on cookie dough and belgium chocolate chocolate. the belgium chocolate chocolate made me audibly say "whoa". I regret not just getting belgium chocolate chocolate.

anyway, instead of going home, i decided to sit outside. it was a little past 8 but still bright. i felt like corporate, material-girl, America. or at least, very palo alto.

i went to stanford to buy a pair of oxfords. i thought urban outfitters was there.... and it will be, but right now they're still mid-construction. :( i went to macy's, opted not to buy tights but interested in checking out more like these). then stopped by lucky and ended up buying 2 pairs of jeans. (might return one pair, probably won't. Hah!) oh! and i picked up my free birthday cake bubble bath gift from sephora. that was fun. i waltzed to the front and said, "it's my birthday! can i pick up my gift!" as i was walking with my bag from sephora to lucky, i passed starbucks and had a passing thought, doesn't starbucks do birthday gifts too? what's up with this? where's my birthday present free drink?!!!!!. I was tempted to walk in an say IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY! but i didn't.

Anyway, i was thinking about my purchases and exceedingly happy and comfortable. I couldn't find a pair of oxfords at aldo's, macy's, or at bloomingdale's. but now i have jeans. and i was eating ice cream. and THEN, as my tongue curled around the flakes of chocolate, i realized something amazing.

THIS delicious belgium chocolate chocolate flavor was familiar! It is the CLOSEST i will ever get to swiss chocolate ice cream from Movenpick that I used to eat in Taiwan! It makes sense! Belgium and Switzerland are NEIGHBORS. And.... the flavor was ALMOST identical. the Movenpick is definitely stronger chocolate and the sheets of chocolate are more delicate (and thus crackly), but this Haagen Daaz Belgium chocolate chocolate DEFINITELY shares a similar quality.

I was very happy.

Also, if anyone knows how to get movenpick in the states.... PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!!!!!!!

miss my class

2011-06-04T01:19:00.000+08:00

had the weirdest dream last night
that we were doing senior banquet, and my class boys did a weird asian-inspired kungfu, choreo'd dance that they attributed to Ben Saetang.. it was my class boys plus two random asian girls that i didn't know dancing...
then some sort of funky skit that someone else did..
and we mobbed the 2011ers.. and i cried when i held sarah and sofie's.. NECKS IN MY HANDS!?

and then i was wearing a huge diamond ring on the wrong finger and it had a pearl on the other end and i was engaged.

and... hmm other stuff happened in my dream, but now i'm forgetting.

this most likely has a DIRECT correlation with my conversation with hannahw last night.. about church, our class, the split, people leaving, and engagements.

WEIRD HUH!

I decided this morning I need to be careful of what I input into my brain before I sleep. otherwise, it's CRAZY AND WEIRD!
I mean Sam Kim and DLee were doing pirhouettes and John Lee was doing something kungfu-ey. so was caleb. So. Weird.

in other news:
family is such a strange idea....... SO STRANGE SO STRANGE .. and i think when all is said and done, I can't help but be grateful, and thankful..... but.. yeah, it's so interesting.

joy williams

2011-05-24T23:18:00.000+08:00

I remember listening to Joy Williams in middle school/high school. She was the pretty blonde girl that my 'oppa' (seriously, only guy in history beside my cousins that i'd maybe call oppa) had a FATTY crush on.

She had an interesting voice.

FAST FORWARD

found this song on my friend's blog. thought she looked familiar (b/c of her mouth), but couldn't tell because she's now a brunette.

"Poison & Wine is a musical snapshot about the dichotomy of love - that while it can be the thing that destroys you, it can also be the very same thing that beckons and builds you. JP and I are both married have been for several years now - and we got to talking one day about what a tug and pull our individual relationships can be. The longer you know someone - and the longer you allow someone to know you - the more the light and shadows inside each person become more vivid. This song was our attempt at being as brutally honest about the dangerous and beautiful process of knowing and being known." (-Joy Williams, The Civil Wars).

it IS joy Williams!

"I don't love you, but I always will". makes me sad. hah.hahaa.

I wonder what it's like to sing in a duo with someone but be married to someone else. It's one thing to like sing occasionally, I think, maybe totally different to be in a DUO group. Anyway, excited to look into the Civil Wars a little more!

"50 Easy Ways to Eat Green" Adapted from Bon Appetit - Feb 09 Issue

2011-05-08T03:56:00.000+08:00

So yeah, some of them are lame / too extreme. But it's always nice to know and pick out a few to apply.

I bolded things that I like/do, I italicized my comments, and I grayed stuff I won't be doing.

1. Eat fair trade organic chocolate
good idea - more expensive, i'll eat less, and it'll be a treat. plus i don't like the way hershey's tastes anymore
2. Boil Once, cook twice: (ie: boil noodles, then poach shrimp/fish... toss with olive oil, tada!)
3. Fill up your freezer: uses less energy
4. Read in Defense of Food (shorter than Omni's Dilemma)
5. Eat Bison: best way to save a species is to eat it.
???
6. Ask a farmer if they are

certified organic
if not, use organic practices? (b/c organic certs. are expensive/lengthy)
if not, non-synthetic pesticides?
if pesticides, minimal spraying?

If they answer yes to any of these questions, it means they're being conscientious.. sure.

7. Every time you peek into an oven, it loses 25-50F
8. (How to) buy a side of beef

Find a group to go with (about 4-6 families since a side of beef ~200lb after butchering). Each family will get ~50lbs for about $4.50/lb
Make sure you have storage space - Energy star-rated chest freezer
Ask around at a farmer's market for a local producer or go to eatwild.com
Look for grass-fed beef and arrange to get it delivered to a nearby slaughterhouse
Choose cuts: standard side of beef breaks down to about 10 roasts, 30 steaks, and 50 lb ground.

9. cook more often
(no shiza sherlock)
10. Roast a whole chicken (less processing, less packaging = less waste; use left over bones to make own stock and save a can)
Don't know how much saving 1 can would do for the environment...but yeah!
11. Use less electricity by being better with your knife - stop using a food processor
(or go for a manual one like this; we got a pretty good one from Korea- easy salsa, easy garlic mincing)
12. Eat alaskan wild salmon: wildpacificsalmon.com
13.savor sardines If you want something less fishy: mybela.com
(ooh the korean in me loves me some kkongchi!)
14. Get nuts/grains from bulk bin section: less packaging/processing
15. Plant heirloom veggie garden (heirloomseeds.com)
16. Learn how to read a a label

Product of USA (greener than global = you know where it's from)
Local (closer the better)
Organic (free from chemical pesticides)
Natural (doesn't mean much: just means that no artifical ingerdients or colors)
Free-Range (means they have "access" to outdoors, but usually overcrowded/dirty pen - not really green)
Certified Humane Raised and Handled (super green)
Fair Trade Certified (requires companies pay fair prices to farmers/producers who treat workers well and cultivate land sustainably) - transfairusa.org

17. Barramundi: a US-raised white fish
18. Make your own coffee

fair-trade organic (globalexchange.org)
Use a french press
use a portable mug

19. Recycle take-out containers and reuse sturdier ones
Sometimes reusing the plastic is actually not good for you...
20. make stock with leftover veggies from veggie bin
21. Make your own cereal
22. Join a CSA: localharvest.org/csa
(I am a part of farm fresh to you. So far so good!)
23. Eat American cheese!

artisan: made in small batches w/ special attn to trad'l art of cheesemaking
farmstead: cheese is from milk from the farmer's own flock/heard
cheesesociety.org

24. When buying fish, text fishphone: 30644 with word FISH followed by the name of the fish you want to buy: it tells you if the variety is good for you/world
25. Veg out
meatless mondays, anyone?
26. Turn off lights when you leave the kitchen
see comment #9
27. Clean with nontoxic, organic soap (jrwatkins.com)/sponges (twistclean.com)
28. Start composting
mayyyybe..... it's a loooot of work...
29. Eat grass-fed beef
mayyyybe.... i heard it actually doesn't taste that good b/c we're used to corn-fed. I'm just limiting overall beef consumption
30. Become an urban forager (fallenfruit.org)
LOL - my parents were doing this before it was hip
31. Eat Sustainable shrimp
32. Eat free food
See comment #9
33. Heritagefoodsusa.com = get on their mail list
34. eat sustainable sushi (seafoodwatch.org)
35. Become a locavore: eat foods that have been grown/produced near your home (100milediet.org/get-started/map)
This would suck if you didn't live in CA
36. Bike
37. Support your local green restaurant (eatwellguide.org)
38. Get a stainless steel lunch box (like Bento!)
39. Eat more tofu
(but i also heard if guys eat too much, they're estrogen levels will fly up)
40. Don't let tea water get scalding/whistling hot: bring it only to a boil
41. Use your dishwasher efficiently (energy star-rated are even better)
42. Reuse plastic bags OR get a good grocery tote
43. Mix your drinks: Try boxed wine (threethieves.com)
44. Take the leftovers to go
wow, you can really tell this magazine is for rich people... of COURSE you take the leftovers home!
45. Pack a lunch
46. Support your local winemaker
47. Read Edible Estates: to see how to turn lawns into productive vegetable gardens
48. Eat the greens of the plant instead of throwing them away
49. Plan your paper use (ie use washcloths instead of paper towels)
50. Recycle the magazine.

From this list I realized, Asians were green WAY before it was cool to be green. Simply because we're industrious, wastenotwantnot people... who pickle EVERYTHING instead of throwing it away.

secretariat pt 2

2011-05-04T06:33:00.000+08:00

okay, so the ending was crazy.
i love races
that horse was so beautiful
everything was so beautiful.

smiling family, good sportsmanship, striking actors/actresses, and a great soundtrack. just great sound/music choices.

i dono.. WHAt exactly the message is.
i'm going to write about this later.

basically the reason i want to though is b/c my mom likes this so much.
and maybe i just have a lot of personal issues that i want to work out.

but basically......... i just don't like it when a lot of issues gets merged into one. in this movie, a lot of issues got merged into one main issue, when it wasn't that. anyway yeah.

secretariat

2011-05-04T05:53:00.000+08:00

so my mom LOVES this movie.
and i watched it.

and i'll say a few things later, but i wanted to say this now.

during the scene where the woman looks at the horse and "communicates"... i used to LOVE those moments. I'm sad that I don't care about animal-people connections anymore. Or that I scoff at it.

Actually, i'm not sad that I don't care.. I'm just sad that I changed.

HAHa. because I don't like change.

I used to LOVE horses. like really love them. like.. pretend my bicycle was a horse and neigh like a horse and feed the next door neighbor's horse licorice stalks.... and read all the black stallion books and watch all the movies.

the end.

i still like unicorns. hehehehehehehehehe

random answered prayers about church

2011-05-03T00:58:00.000+08:00

Or stuff that I didn't even pray about that happened!

* babies.
I remember at EBCB freshman year, I was really disappointed because there were only 2 babies, Elijah and Sammy, and both babies were shy. Now, there's like a gazillion. and ALL of them LOVE me the MOST! (or they will...>:])

*youth group
Ditto above. Except they don't know me, and I'm not a part of it (yet). But I'm excited.... it's exciting. When I came to EBCB, we started EAT in order to try to reach kids that way and start a youth group. But the youth group just sort of started with other kids.. and that's just cool.

*local mercy ministries
In the beginning of this year, PJ told us that he wants our church to engage in more local, compassion work (ie expand on what we have currently). That just sounds super cool (since I'm not sure how it will practically be worked out), and it's an answered prayer!

*a bosom friend
This prayer/desire was answered differently. I think I spent the first 20 years of my life looking for my own Diana Barry. I think over the years, God taught me people come and go, and that He's created me to be able to continue to keep in touch and keep up my relationships.... I think learning that, and learning that not everyone was "like me" helped resolve a lot of hurt and has resulted in a lot of new, sweet companions.

*connection with my pastors
You know that your relationship with your pastor's not great when after your first sermon, you never wanted to come back. (To be fair, my first sermon at EBCB was on celibacy (1 Corinthians 7), the bus had broken down so I had to sit on this plastic non-seat in Sara (then Oh, now) Kwun's car, and EBCB had uncomfortable pews!). Then afterwards, if you inform the pastor that you "don't agree with most of what he has to say but you like the people".... oh golly.

Anyway, long story short, I love PJ, his family, his integrity, his teaching, his leadership. wahoo.

*older people
I think the median and mode of ages at EBCB my freshman year was .. like 22. Now, it's definitely older, more diverse... i loooooove that. I *really* didn't want to go to a "Korean" church. I think around my junior year, we hit the milestone of "maybe there's more Chinese people than Koreans!" and now, it's just a mixup (although it's still heavily Asian. but now I love Asia too. so that's great!)

*lunches
Okay, this was not a prayer request EVER. but seriously, our lunches are getting so much better. hahahha. (I mean, i came from this larger Korean church that served hefty gomtangs and bibimbaps for lunch...that I always got for free (usually $2) since I always knew the parents manning the $. hah) And please (with all due respect), I know some people like it, but can we please phase out that white rice+cheese+broccoli+chicken dish FOREVER? It's so random that even when it's fully cooked and warm with tapatio, my brain gets very confused. :-D

Okay wow, the end.
(I originally intended to only write about babies and local compassion ministries...)

explaining new trends

2011-04-30T04:51:00.000+08:00

I'm glad God created me with an appreciation for arts and crafts.
Actually, I bet he created everyone with an appreciation for arts and crafts. They just come out in different ways (whether through "crafty" math problems or through a romp in the wild outdoors).

Anyway, I've been puzzled at "changes" I see in my life, because I'm one of those people that desperately cling to the quotidian.

I like how people can see me and comment that "I haven't changed"; whether it is the old family friend commenting on my cheeks or the high school classmate commenting on my jokes.

But I do. My interests, or where my time has been spent is changing. I realized this might be because with my added time (away from school), I've had the opportunity to explore hobbies. And with blogs from amateur experts, I can vicariously live through what they do, and I see that little bits rub off on me.

Some changes were expected.
For instance, reading copiously. I wasn't able to read in college, and now that I'm out, I'm back to reading my old favorites and picking out the new YA lit that's out there. I realized children's and YA lit are my favorite... they're timeless. I love it. Not to mention, I had to read a bit for my work, and since I love being "hip and with it" I started to read books they recommended to me!

Another change that is more interesting to me is an added interest in fashion. I guess it was inevitable, since my mom loves to dress well, and my sister is a shopping queen. I think I'm getting better though! My eye is being honed, AND the fashion these days ARE fun. Gone are the midriff baring tanks and flared sparkly jeans (Okay fine, I loved them back in the day). And now it's a throwback to the 50s classic pieces. I love the idea of sewing (key word: idea) and re-making clothes. I used to do that in high school in my attempts at individuality. And lastly, it's not necessarily fashion, but just knowing how to dress for one's body and how others should dress for theirs. I guess my mom religiously pounded that into me back in the day... heh.

So in addition to that, I like hair and makeup. I love how braids are back, and I can go back to my Barbie-days, but instead of Barbies I have friends' and my own hair. And makeup, it's just fun to see and know and experiment and critique.

And the last fun thing about fashion is that it appeals to my inner competitiveness. I like it when I try something and it shows up in a magazine later. I like it when I predict something and it comes true. I guess it's pretty easy since societal trends are dictated by the "higher-ups", but still, it's nice to be the lemming that's one foot ahead of the other lemmings.

Last trend: being in on the news. I guess it comes from listening to the radio with my different commutes... and honestly, if it were not for the gas, I would LOVE driving. In fact, i LOVED driving in high school as well. I love the radio. The country station, the oldies station (gone now), the classic big band station (there's been times where all I listen to is the boom ba ba), and of course, NPR. I love just knowing and learning random tidbits of facts and then learning about current events and history. I LOVE how when you know history, you can CONNECT THE DOTS!!!! I love that.

Something I try to do but I'm lazy about:
gardening
eating more veg.
jogging
working out on my own.

The last part is hard because I'm used to team sports and being forced to go....

something that I'm working on:
Being okay with being alone.

I think that last part has a LOT to do with the previous trends in my life.

Anyway, I guess that's all.

lists

2011-04-26T04:53:00.001+08:00

i love making lists.
movies i loved (as in I can re-watch whenever)

cinema paradiso
amelie
casablanca
now and then
josie and the pussycats
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
girls just wanna have fun
the sure thing
my tutor friend
anne of green gables
10 things i hate about you
stardust
o brother where art thou
pretty in pink
LOTR: The Two Towers
the incredibles

movies i want to watch

timer
road, movie
new york, i love you
paris, je t’aime
scott pilgrim vs the world
paper heart
bella
burlesque
the blind side
that facebook movie… i forgot the name LOL
away from her
fight club
memento
a requiem for a dream
true grit

random movies i like (that i think of fondly but may not watch again, or used to be on the “love list” but not anymore)

when harry met sally
pan’s labyrinth
motorcycle diaries
a very long engagement
chocolat
mad hot ballroom
while you were sleeping
science of sleep
my fair lady
wait until dark
titanic
west side story
the sound of music
the prestige
empire records
mr. smith goes to washington
where the wild things are
palo alto
tomb raider series
red cliff 1 and 2
ip man
seven brides for seven brothers
the princess bride

Overrated movies or just crap

Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist (first movie i ever stopped watching)
A Walk to Remember
PS I Love You
Garden State
Nacho Libre
Finding Neverland
Mona Lisa Smile
gigi
My Sassy Girl
Sixteen Candles
love and basketball -_-

someone REALLY needs to make a riveting movie with a magnificent unicorn in it. preferably in a foreign language.

Comforts of Home

2011-04-20T23:53:00.000+08:00

pouring water into a used glass knowing that someone else had only used it for water before and so it’s “clean”
having the light on when you come home
not having to wear pants if you don’t want to
knowing that there’s always a way inside the house (even without a key - even if you have to get creative about it.. please noburglars)
bathrooms that magically clean themselves
rooms that magically tidy themselves
casual laundry habits (i do some of yours, you do some of mine, we both fold daddy’s clothes)
….
~~i hope that when i become a mom, my kids don’t break out in rashes from dirtiness…~~
okay fine, i hope that when I become a mom, I’ll be able to build a comfortable home just like my mom does.

top chef final

2011-04-08T16:03:00.001+08:00

dude, must suck being the chefs called back over and over again to be the sous chef or the partner chef.

It's funny though, the first shot of the losing competitors (as sous chefs)... they looked so ticked off. hahaha.

and marcel's a hoot.

i mean, even though they joke about jetski reservations and such, it must be super humbling and sucky to do your best on an amuse bouche and then to not be chosen... and then even when you're chosen, to be a sous chef for the very competition you lost out on....

i think, i still have random issues of coming in second place. heh.

and suuuucks for you mike, but you handled it well. people will love you and if anything, you'll be pretty well-known too.

also lastly, it's kinda sad that winning top chef really meant THIS MUCH to Blaise.. to the point where he cries and isn't there for his wife's last few weeks of pregnancy.. i mean, yeah.. i don't know. if i ever wanted something like that that badly, i hope i won't actually get it.

and yes, it's a little sad that i have a separate label for top chef on my blog. hahaha

Goodbye Paula!

2011-04-08T14:53:00.001+08:00

GREAT BBQ. (ate so much)
SWEET time with SWEET people.
SOU (our homegroup leader) is SOUPER competitive.
But FUN...

Anyway, this little gem gives you a peek at my homegroup's dynamics...

and draws attention to the fact that I'm very very single. (but happy!!)

2011-03-18T01:23:00.001+08:00

This picture cracks me up / brings me so much joy. Seriously - I mean, just look at them.

I love selected shorts

2011-03-06T23:56:00.001+08:00

and came across a real gem today: “The Swim Team” - Miranda July.
The reader was so good too.
Find this story based on a girl who was a swim coach for three old people in the town of Belvedere, a town with no pool. They practiced with bowls of warm salt water in her living room and they practiced dives from her desk to her bed…
It was great. Hilarious. Poignant.

2011-02-24T20:11:00.000+08:00

“If you knew someone you loved would be outside in the cold for a very long time and would not be allowed to wear mittens, you would give them the warmest jacket you could find. Because when someone you love is going through a tough time out of your control, what they need from you is a warm, caring, sweet attitude, not a constant reminder of how cold their fingers must be.”

- smart pretty awkward

2011-02-23T14:35:00.000+08:00

i miss..

picnics

delicious food

impromptu games

love from abroad

being closeknit

shenanigans

i'm looking forward to...
Never Say Never
Mint Leaf Restaurant
Dream High finale
Grad school?

pale.

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.

- Maya Angelou

obligatory top chef post

2011-02-19T15:58:00.001+08:00

"obligatory"

hahaha. glad/sad that fabio is gone. i guess the time for fun and games is now OVER

gotta say, i love Blaise.. high-falutin', plays fair, works hard, Blaise. he's gonna get owned.
don't love Angelo. he's sneaky. he oversneaked my love (forgot his name but bought a similar hat) ... SPIKE!
plus he talks like a weirdo.

LOVE LOVE LOVE CARLA.

but ultimately, the point of my post is this: even though Dale has a crappitude and just bugs me in general, but this is hilarious: "You know what? I almost got eliminated today but it means nothing cause i'm here and i'm gonna kill it on this next one. I'm gonna wear that championship belt around my waist. And i'm not like these new school parents who are like "we're all winners" **** that. that's buuulll *** man. Who the *** said losing's okay? Like, in what country is that cool?"

I know, profane. but hilarious.

Mike and Carla WOULD like sesame street. -_-

currently going through my head

2011-02-19T13:46:00.000+08:00

the reason i'm having a tough time budgeting is b/c i'm trying to live like a rich bay area person on a poor bay area person's income

i get mad when people mess something up for me because I don't just want an apology, I want them to fix it.

In general, I get frustrated when something is "not right": why can't someone fix it?

i don't understand myself sometimes, so then, i try to ignore myself, until i can't. and then it's back to square 1.

it's hard to make objective decisions when matters get personal.

i don't know why i save cards and letters... i just do.

i've been yelping regularly now, and it's just made me more critical. why can't I have a 5-star experience anywhere?

in 2 weeks i'll know something about at least 1 school.

i still have lots of little things to do.. and that's why it's both gratifying and frustrating at the same time when i finish an item off my list.

my laptop sounds like an airplane and randomly crashes. but i don't want a new one b/c i'm loving how it's working otherwise...

the more i use windows 7, the more pro-pc i become.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-12513403: wow; that sounds so .. what's that WORD?

i'll be back.

2011-02-12T13:44:00.001+08:00

“I think you’re a sans serif font, you don’t seem like a serif kinda guy.”

- one guy to another in a conversation right across from me at starbucks. :)

Nutella Cookies: A Hoonz Original

2011-02-05T11:37:00.000+08:00

So, I was initially going to bake chocolate-nutella cookies... but it looked complicated and I didn't want to deal with an excess amount of ingredients. So, i decided to go to allrecipes.com and find their hottest nutella cookie recipe and go from there!

BUT LO AND BEHOLD WHAT DO I FIND?

Really baking world? Nobody had a simple ole nutella cookie recipe?

Thus I decided to invent my own.

I found a good peanut-butter cookie recipe, tweaked it (less sugar etc), and tada!!!!!

My own cookie recipe: http://allrecipes.com/PersonalRecipe/62634093/Nutella-Cookies/Detail.aspx

Except, allrecipes.com is dang complicated and i can't figure out how to edit parts.

Also, I think I need a digital camera. But i've done so well (almost a full year) without one!

I decided I want to talk about my church's cultural quirks and funnies.

2011-01-30T15:25:00.001+08:00

So it's that time of year, the beginning of a fresh new semester, and both boys and girls alike go about their daily duties with bated breath. The air heavy with the potential, the wonder - that question dripping with the same significance of a high school homecoming, "Who will ask me?"

You briefly regret not having signed up to be on the asking end. But understand that no, this semester you're already too busy and you can go about doing the same things without the heavy commitment. It's not like it's totally exclusive.. after all, there is one way to gain a ticket into glimpsing the going-ons of that society.

As time ticks by, in that week of decision, you shrug off the fact that Sweet Sue and Mild Mary were already asked twice - both by underclassmen - and you admit that yes, it's possible no one might ask you and yes that night of the banquet, while all your friends get primped up to go, you might be the perennial Cinderella, at home, cleaning up the curling irons and hanging up discarded cardigans. The girls gone in your heels (that incidentally matched their modest knee-length skirts).

But then it happens! A text? A phone call? An email? A bout of small talk that takes a sudden, exhilarating turn? And then hurray, the question. "Will you be my ET prayer partner?"

***

Hahahaha. I don't think this flowed quite like the way I wanted it to, but it was fun. And it's semi true. After all, twas Janet who aptly coined ET Banquet as EBCB's Winter Formal. LOL

(pleasepleasepleasenorebukespleasepleasepleaseidotakeprayerpartneringseriously ^.^)

My first ET Banquet:

I always get the awkward groups.
This group was especially holy, we even went to Taiwan together.
I think JChun's mad that I touched him.. oops.

Love House's first ET Banquet as 2nd semester freshmen
Janetshihlikestopee
cassandrasoolikestopoo
juniakimlikestoswim
sallykimisveryslim .. except now she's a yang.

things i don't like about myself

2011-01-12T16:55:00.002+08:00

- innate sense of superiority
- inadvertent racism that randomly comes out
- wussiness

Top Chef // The Hunger Games

2011-01-10T14:52:00.001+08:00

Wow, I am loving this Top Chef Season 8 with all my fav (and not so fav but interesting) chefs back.
They are all either fantastic top notch chefs or they are incredibly ... spicy. Basically, bland chefs (Voltaggio brother that lost) need not apply.

Anyway, my normal commentary.
SAD about a few things so far.
Sad that Jen cracked and got eliminated so early.
Also sad about how Elia got kicked off first - she looked so beautiful now too.

ANYWAY though, Top Chef is like the Hunger Game Reruns.. when all the previous champions come back. You get the overt strategies and then you catch a glimpse of the sneaky, underlying strategies.

You also see how so many people aged (some not so gracefully).

Marcel came back a lot more.. palatable (but still cocky and annoying.. just more quiet).
Jamie... wow, she was one of my favs, but she is just.. being .. awful lately. She's kind of a baby. Kind of a wimp. Kind of pretentious. Kind of sucky. This ain't gonna do NOTHING for your PR. She has no balls anymore. NONE.
Mike Isabella: Annoying the first time around, but now that he's back, it's like that general congeniality you feel for that token annoying family uncle. He's great.
GOTTA LOVE CARLA. Nothing's changed. She just got better. LOVE HER.
Same for Tiffany. She's just straight up. and awesome.
I NEVER KNEW YOU BEFORE TRE! So yeah, Tre is my new top chef love.
speaking of which, my old one, Spike... he .. is one of those dudes that DIDN'T age gracefully. I mean he's still... i don't know. Just.. older.. still jaunty, still cool (from the previous season he was in).. but he's definitely just.. i don't know. Lost his charm, kept his sneakiness. But his guile is pretty.. standard/on the surface. So it was sad that he got outmaneuvered by...

ANGELO.. who is HECKA SNEAKY. .. angelo will always be angelo. a devil in chef's clothing.

I think Casey is good but not great. she hurt Carla's dish before.. even if it was an accident. and i don't really care for her.

But seriously, Jamie why do you suck? and Tre, why didn't you speak up when they knocked you for your overcooked fish.. when...... ANGELO "volunteered" to cook it for you?

last thought: poor Stephen. it was like watching an old dog trying to keep up with the yearlings. It's just not meant to be, my friend, not meant to be.

But yeah, they definitely brought back the talented and the characters. I wish we didn't have Antonia and had Sam instead. (remember from Season 2? he looks kinda like Jim from the office, but better and he can cook).

Oh and Fabio... is just annoying now. He's not even that great of a chef i think. They should've brought back the German dude... just so he could poke at Jamie some more. hah. and Dale's just the token little asian dude.. who gets a little too overheated.. ALL.. THE...TIME!

But yeah, i'm glad ANTHONY BOURDAIN is a semi-regular judge!!!

AND the challenges have all been really fun this time. (Season 7 felt reallllly old...)

PS: I guess i should've watched Season 3.. to understand Casey's appeal. and then I could've met Tre earlier. he has the best laugh. and he's just so nice. I really dislike sneaky conniving chefs..

looking back, (thru wiki), i guess my fav episodes were Season 5 and Season 2). I guess kiiinda season 6 but season 6 was sort of waaay over the top .. in terms of they got chefs that were super technical the whole way thru. it was sort of like yawn boring bam bam bam where they got all the drama from the brother rivalry (that sorta didn't exist). AND season 5 was annoying because of the stupid leah and hosea thing and then hosea actually won. -_-

you know, a lot of the top chef winners (like season 7's) were not.. that.. great..

okay, i definitely get very involved in this show..

the things people spend their life doing...

2011-01-07T04:36:00.000+08:00

I read this article on how boys and girls choirs have a distinct sound. That the soloists' voices hit a certain frequency that resonate with the soul... I thought that was pretty cool. What I don't think is cool is how everyone's still so obsessed with technology so that using this knowledge that there's this specific "shine" in boys and girls' voices, they can create synthetic choirs. yighs.

when they were talking about the "shine" in voices, i automatically thought back to the concept of phusis. I don't know too much about it (except that it's pronounced "physis"), but these two philosophy professors (from Hahvahd and Cal [go bears!]) did this study on finding meaning and how old greek classics and such, when they describe something particularly great or amazing but in our nature, it's this moment of "shining." One guy also said the English language even adopted that concept in our phrase that someone can "really shine at" something or other. You can find more info here if you wanna listen.... but... yeah.

Anyway, I like this. Even though I'm not in school, I like learning new tidbits and stuff... I mean, it's basically the same thing. Fed stuff in college; fed stuff now. The most research I'd do is a quick google search.
Lame.
but keeps my mind active/making connections/dots/thinking....

perhaps it's pretentious.

but i'm in the Bay! Where else can i embrace such wannabe academia?!!!!!!

Laughter as an escape

2011-01-05T09:03:00.000+08:00

...At this point my wife is dying with laughter. She is hitting me, kicking me, hardly breathing, and just managing to make a sound that is as funny as it is captivating. And our little girl is just locked in with this grin. She is smiling at her Mom as she laughs hysterically. She has no clue what is so funny, but she is laughing....

....Laughter is such a good gift from God. When we are laughing we are carefree. We have momentarily escaped from the felt reality of this cursed world. We are transported to a place where we can honestly and heartedly…be happy. We do it without regard. We laugh out loud. We don’t care who hears us, we are laughing! What a blessed escape from life this is.....

....I’m praising God for the renewed realization of the gift of laughter. God is good to give us this gift in the midst of a broken world. These bursts of laughter are a reminder of a day and kingdom coming where happiness prevails. There will be laughter and singing there. There will be no more mourning or sadness. Laughter will not be an escape from that place but a trademark of it. ....

Erik Raymond of Ordinary Pastor (formerly Irish Calvinist)

Read the whole (not too long) article here

rip off

2011-01-04T17:20:00.000+08:00

today i went to Sprinkles, got enamoured by the environment.
ate a so-so cupcake, got mad at the fact that i am now less 10 bucks
and decided i’m gonna start baking my own cupcakes
>:O

"So what exciting thing are you working on?

2011-01-02T20:58:00.000+08:00

just had an imaginary conversation with the older, black man sitting next to me at starbucks.

2011 .. resolutions/goals/bucket list?

2011-01-02T15:01:00.000+08:00

in no particular order: (11 for 2011!)
1) be more punctual
2) run 600 miles
3) eat more vegetables
4) save $$
5) memorize verses regularly
6) read a hefty book (like Edwards)
7) blog regularly
8) do a race (full length tri?)
9) floss regularly
10) be a better sister
11) sleep by 11:30pm

a xanga-charmed kinda life.

2010-12-31T02:29:00.000+08:00

whilst going through my xanga looking for something, came across this. hehehe. Even the comments are funny. (tree = dcheng, smoovy=janet, i'm sure you can figure out the rest)

Tuesday November 15, 2005

i've decided... screw 13+ unit schedules.. i'm gonna take it easy next semester. if i can't handle this.. then... yeah.
so no Korean til next year.. and maybe i'll take spanish.. no philosophy though.
no way!
im gonna die..
no.. it's just bc.. i have no self discipline... i'm becoming a lot cleaner though
man.. pj's overconfidence sermon came one week too late :-( no wait! what am i saying!.. it's all in God's timing eh? hahahahahhaha <-- being so...... BC.. hahaha... biblically correct. lol. ... nerd -__-
at night, convos are so much more funnier.. you HAVE to admit.. this IS funny
salsallysal: i am no shmuck
salsallysal: i am a sal
play with 1000 C: you're stunning sal
salsallysal: hehe
salsallysal: you're jUUUicY!!
salsallysal: our sns should be that
salsallysal: lol
play with 1000 C: ....
salsallysal: juicy junia
salsallysal: stunning sally
salsallysal: or silly sally
salsallysal: or.. shmucky sally : (
salsallysal: jiggly janet
salsallysal: tehehe
play with 1000 C:WWJD.
play with 1000 C: we want janet dead
play with 1000 C:HAHAHAH
salsallysal: wHY WON'T janet die
play with 1000 C: when will Janet die?

edit//
i love janet.
and you know how in shakespeare, whenever bad unnatural things happen (ie the bad guy kills the good guy) nature goes bezerko! .. well, the wind is CRAZY right now. it's HOWLING. it's breaking stuff. it throws leaves into my eyes.. I believe this natural phenomenon is a protest against the horrible mean things Bezerkeley is doing to me. the bad guy (berkeley) is trying to take the good guy's (me) throne.. or its trying to kill me.. by giving me all this work. and that's why the wind is howwwling like no other.

Posted 11/15/2005 at 4:55 AM

7 Comments

wooooo!!! 13 unit schedules!!!!

I have to agree, late night conversations are much more nutty.

Posted 11/15/2005 at 5:42 AM by oOoOoTreeoOoOo

but i LOVE janet!

hahaha you guys were all online as i was typing xanga and readin glinguistics articles about eskimos -_-

Posted 11/15/2005 at 5:44 AM by BethXnesS

WHAT KIND OF CONVERSATION IS THAT?!

Posted 11/15/2005 at 11:37 AM by HaEjEaNjUnG

EXCUSE ME! i do not appreciate that you try to mix and match wwjd for my death!!!

Posted 11/15/2005 at 11:49 AM by smoovy

i'm not understand this uc credit system! explain, hunia. (i'm taking spanish, now, so i can pronounce it like that.)

Posted 11/15/2005 at 11:59 AM by neophile

I want you alive and well, Janet =D

BC..ahahah~

Junia, I read your survey thing. You touch me at unexpected times =)

And the wind WAS going crazy today...but I'm not sure I get your explanation -.-;

Posted 11/15/2005 at 5:56 PM by lenakim

oh unnee if you haven't ordered those shoes yet, can you put the address to our address? it might be easier for you. and i will pay you back when you come down for thanksgiving. and oma is letting us use the heater again!!!!!! wooot!
and you are strange.

Posted 11/15/2005 at 8:48 PM by ONEbLeedingGirL

grande nonfat chai tea latte with 2 added pumps

2010-12-29T18:33:00.000+08:00

a fitting way to break in my new blue ecocup
^^

what is it about the steady fall of rain

2010-12-29T00:06:00.001+08:00

with friends like shmalice...

2010-12-24T00:01:00.000+08:00

me: we can commute tochurch ogether

and go to ebcsv bible study
and THEN u can make the switch
and we can live togehter
for ever
forever

Alice: and then we should get married.

me: .................
alice
i dont swing that way
i told you thatbefore
but, if it's shaking you up
then, well

Alice: you're basically dropping the towel

me: we gotta cool it.

Alice: into my face

me: DO U MEAN... HANKERCHIEF?
AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA
AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHH

eyes like the clouds, puffy

2010-12-23T17:02:00.000+08:00

when dreams are more pleasant than reality, of course you’d want to waste your time away in bed.
i had 2 great dreams last night. vivid too. mm.

soo...

2010-12-17T08:56:00.000+08:00

maybe i'll do this: not apply to harvard this year.. i just feel like i don't have a strong application.. i dont know faculty, i have good ideas but not a lot of experience... i am just a piglet in a world of boars...
and if i don't get into any schools at all, apply to SJ State, be really active in the blogosphere / read a lot of harvard profs (to learn about research), get my teaching credential... and during that time, apply to an MA program.. and go for 2012-2013.

Sigh..

i wish i'd been more proactive early.

do.
hard.
things.

instead of chatting online like an idiot.

thoughts flowing thru my brain

2010-12-16T15:15:00.001+08:00

owie pimple
food inc made me sad/grossed out/overwhelmed
sad: people that are used/abused (gave me a different perspective on illegal immigrants)
grossed out: animal mass production is le nast
overwhelmed: i don't want to spend more $$ on food. i don't want to forgo reese's peanut butter cups.

i checked out percy jackson #3..
should i go to bed like a responsible adult or stay up and read?

maybe.. just the first few chapters?...

mockingjay spoiler

2010-12-08T22:37:00.000+08:00

so, hunger games.
i didn't like mockingjay, all throughout.
was it just me or did she switch to first person?
that made things difficult.
collins is smart.
she kept you guessing.
before even reading the book, i told people, i didn't know how i wanted the series to end. i didn't know how the series could possibly end well.
i must admit the prose wasn't as riveting, there were no parts where the tears ran down my cheeks.
granted finnick and cinna all had places in my heart.. but for the most part, i impatiently skimmed through sections, bored by the training, bored by the angst, bored by misunderstanding.

and in the end, it made sense that she ended with peeta, no matter how much i preferred gale. again, that theme of complements and how gentleness overrides passion once again proves true..
something about humility, earnestness, humanity, weakness ..

in that twisted capitol. with twisted characters. twisted minds. and the only honest being is the purported villain snow. and the roses. and prim. and i knew the cat would come back. somehow somewhere. i knew that gale's anger would backfire. (being able to predict important devices.. if not the plot is something i can thank my grade school education) but collins was still subtle. this book was definitely heavier. something i appreciate about both collins and rowling .. is how they took a lighter book and definitely evolved it to make their audiences think.

hunger games. definitely a fun series. depressing. makes you think about people..
i love. scifi.
i probably wouldn't read this again.

i loved the first one the best. the second one was even more amazing in terms of torrents of emotions. the third was subdued emotionally, frustrating, but it ended well. and props for that.. for convincing me that this was the ending....

it doesn't help that midway through the book (begun around 3 am) it began to gently rain.............

oh dear.

6:37am. should i wake up?

why bother

2010-12-08T17:32:00.000+08:00

my uc berk app sucked
and for my stanford app, i messed up on the recommendors part... so i basically just submitted 3 edu. recs rather than a professional one.. and that sucks.

i also realized i've been flaking and i should've notified faculty earlier.

so i kind of just want to throw in the towel and try again next year.

b/c this is definitely not my best foot forward.

and i feel sucky sucky sucky.

in a God is sovereign, hold plans loose kind of way.

haha ........

i just mess up a LOT.
and they're all preventable mistakes.
that's what bugs me.

it's like... i'm a neat, orderly, anal person locked up inside a clumsy, impulsive, mistake-prone person. HELP HELP ME OUT!

i'm like a perfect, explosive mixture of my mom and my dad. -___- groan.

tutoring

2010-12-01T13:15:00.000+08:00

so i'm at college track and even though i feel REALLY awkward.. it's a chill place and i really enjoy it..

i got hired for writing.
bUT i'm actually tutoring a lot of geometry, algebra 2 and pre-calc.

i like it. but it's embarrassing trying to brush up on my theorems / proofs.. and remembering stuff....

like

explaining ...

and here are some crucial words/phrases i forgot:
coefficient
cube root
CPCTC
SAS/SSS/ASA ... etc

as i tutor in these subjects, i flip flop between feelings of "WOW i'm a GENIUS" and "WOW i'm STUPID"

the most awkward parts is helping a student with Spanish when another latino student is sitting at my table. -_- my accent sucks now...

babies

2010-11-27T18:44:00.000+08:00

i know it's a culturally insensitive thing to say, or just that people are sensitive about it in general, but i just don't understand why people don't have babies.

i don't understand the whole "wait until X is done with Y until we start a family."

i don't understand flippant choices to use certain kinds of contraceptives and i definitely don't understand studied choices to do so.

i mean, i guess it's a tad personal because I was a "surprise" for my parents.... and they weren't necessarily financially well-off (both were students in seminary - dad going for mdiv, mom going for christian education which she didn't finish because of.. her surprise (me!) ); they hadn't been married for a set amount of time...

anyway, i guess the issue maybe deals a little with life. Lately i've been drawn to dystopian stories and i always wonder (like in the story "The ones who walk away from the omelas") is the happiness of a city worth the life of one child? and on the car ride home, my brother and i got into a pretty heated debate about whether if given the choice, you would press a button to kill someone but at the same time achieve the cure for cancer. there are so many .. assumptions/presuppositions that come with that thought .. but anyway, i automatically thought of abortion.

Anyway, the reason i came to this train of thought was because I finally found the time to read Revive Our Hearts's segment on "Are There Enough Children In The World" and that kind of idea is always interesting for me to learn about (especially since I don't totally buy into the "overpopulation" idea of the world)... and as i was reading, i just wanted to write about babies.

I'm glad I grew up with the opportunity to babysit and be around babies. and kids. it's cool seeing my sister and brother interact with children as well. i think seeing their natural comfort in "handling" kids (especially unruly ones) is interesting to watch.. although i get pretty ticked off when they tell me "not to judge" when i say a kid is spoiled.. honestly, i'm not judging ... a spoiled kid's a spoiled kid.. but enough on that.
i'm just going to leave you with some pictures and links...

BABIES ARE JUST SO PRECIOUS!!! (but i guess i should add the disclaimer that i understand there are details and complications and i shouldn't be so openly dismayed when friends tell me they are waiting to start a family etc................ or... okay, i guess there are things i shouldn't publicly say on a blog. LOL)

Links to peruse:
Trailer for the documentary Babies
A cover of Bruno Mars "Just the Way You Are" from a boy about his little sister (who has down syndrome - a rare case nowadays)
http://www.epm.org/resources/2010/Mar/2/birth-control-pill-abortifacient-and-contraceptive/
http://www.aaplog.org/position-and-papers/oral-contraceptive-controversy/
http://www.epm.org/resources/2010/Feb/22/growing-debate-about-abortifacient-effect-birth-co/

[steps off soap box // fade to black]

The Town of Thanks

2010-11-26T16:24:00.002+08:00

Nancy: It's a parable of sorts, kind of an allegory.

This story was written by a friend of mine who actually wrote it as something for families to read aloud together. The story is called The Town of Thanks, and I think you will agree with me that it is a very appropriate story for this time of year.

Leslie: "Across the Sea of Imagination, in a time long ago, there was a delightful little village nestled in the mountains, right in the heart of The Kingdom. A sign on the outskirts of the village notified travelers that they were entering the Town of Thanks.

"The air in the Town of Thanks was fresh and clean. Children played excitedly in the park—that is, when they weren't busy learning the family trade from their parents.

"It was important for the children to learn their trade well. For the Town of Thanks was renowned for its superb craftsmanship and exquisite artistry. Visitors traveled from near and far across The Kingdom to purchase wares from the legendary town. Some even came from outside The Kingdom.

"The merchants of the Town of Thanks had a reputation for unusual attention to detail. The Wood Carver fashioned his pieces with great care and accuracy. The Weaver labored diligently over his loom, and his fabrics were woven using only the finest of threads. And every morning the Baker made fresh loaves of bread, using recipes known only to his family.

"There was no denying the extraordinary quality of the goods produced in the Town of Thanks. But the greatest distinctive, that unique charm that set this town apart from every other, was the signature displayed on every product that was sold—a simple, 'Thank You.' The inscription was etched into each piece of the Wood Carver's work; it was embroidered on the edge of every bolt of the Weaver's cloth; it was even stenciled on each bag of the Baker's bread.

"At every town meeting, without fail, the village elders would remind the townspeople, 'Our workmanship would mean nothing without those who buy our goods and provide our livelihood. We must always remember to express our appreciation to every customer.'

"It was a joy to shop in the Town of Thanks. Nowhere else could the citizens of The Kingdom purchase such fine merchandise, and nowhere did they feel any more warmly welcomed. Those who visited the Town of Thanks were always eager to return.

"Though generally crowded with shoppers, there was something peaceful and inviting about the streets. The craftsmen who tended their stores were always so friendly and were never too busy to answer customers' questions or help them find just what they were looking for.

"The Wood Carver (ever so humble) was quick to inform visitors of other products available in the town, and would nearly blush with gratitude over each purchase of his own work. The Weaver (busy and diligent in his labor) could always find time to visit with his customers and make them feel appreciated. And The Baker (so tender and warm in spirit) would always give hope and encouragement to any who entered his store.

"And so it continued from one generation to another, this rich heritage was passed on. But in time, yes, in time, things changed—not all at once, but slowly, almost imperceptibly.

"According to one wise man, the change began when business was booming, and people became so busy that they forgot to say 'thank you.' By and by, they began to consider the inscription an unnecessary expense.

"Before anyone realized what had happened, the Town of Thanks had ceased to be thankful. And when gratitude left, other things, ugly things, took its place.

"The shopkeepers no longer waited within their stores, content to help those who stopped in. Now they would gaze out their windows or stand on the sidewalk, waiting for the shoppers, looking for the shoppers, expecting the shoppers.

"If a shopper would arrive but purchased less than expected, the owner was annoyed. And if a prospective buyer went to a neighboring shop to make his purchase, the owner's heart would grow hot with jealousy. Those were sad days in the Town of Thanks. This town which once had so much, now wanted more.

"In time, word of the change traveled back to the King of The Kingdom. He knew the town's longtime reputation, and he knew what was needed to restore thankfulness. But would the people be able to see their need? And then, would they want to change?

"One day an elderly man wearing threadbare clothes and carrying an empty bag on his shoulder entered town. The Wood Carver eyed the prospective customer with interest, until he caught sight of the Old Man's shriveled purse. When the Old Man walked into his store, the Wood Carver remained outside, looking for more promising customers. A few moments later the Wood Carver spied the Old Man examining an especially lovely carving in the window. 'Be careful with that, Old Man. My products are expensive,' he said with pride.

"Slowly, the Old Man loosened his purse (no longer shriveled, but bulging with coins) and emptied it onto the table before the Wood Carver. Speechless for a moment, the Wood Carver soon found himself humbly shaking the Old Man's hand. 'Thank you, sir, for buying my product. I didn't expect that.' The Old Man smiled, placed the carving in his bag, and walked across the street to see the Weaver.

"The Weaver looked up from his work to see the Old Man slowly approach and enter his store. 'I don't have time for him,' the Weaver muttered to himself. 'I need some real shoppers who can afford my workmanship.' A moment or so later, the Old Man selected a bolt of fine, woven silk from the shelf and headed toward the Weaver. 'That's my best fabric, Old Man, and I don't want to get it dirty,' the Weaver said sharply.

"Deliberately, as before, the Old Man pulled from his vest a beautifully jeweled timepiece and placed it into the Weaver's hands. At that moment, time and the demands of a busy workday ceased to be important to the Weaver. It was as though the love of the world paled next to what he saw in that precious timepiece. He thanked the Old Man over and over for buying his product. The Old Man simply smiled, placed his purchase in his bag with the carving, and walked next door to see the Baker.

"Concerned and worried over many things, the Baker scarcely noticed his aged customer. Carefully, the Old Man selected a loaf of bread and placed his payment into the hand of the Baker. Their eyes met for a moment. The Baker knew the price being paid was far too great. He wanted to push it away, but then he understood that it had to be, and he received the payment with gratitude. Tears welled up in his eyes and began to overflow—tears of joy, for hope had returned to his heart. 'Thank you, Old Man, for coming to town today, and thank you for buying my goods.'

"The Old Man left town, wearied from his shopping. The items in the bag were now his; he had paid for them—an exquisite carving, a piece of fine silk, and a freshly baked loaf of bread.

"But the Old man saw his purchases differently.

"From the Wood Carver he had bought the sculpture of pride and left the payment of humility.

"From the Weaver, he had purchased impatience which had blossomed full from the love of this world. In exchange, he had given a vision to live for things of timeless value.

"And from the Baker's heart he had taken discouragement and despair, and left in their place unquenchable hope.

"The bag of goods grew heavy on the Old Man's shoulder as he stumbled up the path that led out of the valley. After days of travel, he finally approached his home. The drawbridge was lowered to allow him to enter the castle. As he made his way past the guards and attendants, each bowed low in respect before him.

"The bag he carried—filled with pride, love of this world, and despair—was taken down to the dungeon, where it would never see the light of day again.

"Finally, having returned to the palace, His mission fulfilled, He took His seat on the throne. As he did so, his eyes fell upon an object standing in the corner. Used only once, but always to be remembered, was a blood-stained, rugged cross.

"Thank You, Your majesty. Thank You."1

Nancy: Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift. God has given us so much, hasn't He? And not the least of which; in fact, the greatest of which is the Lord Jesus—the salvation that He has given us through Christ represented by that cross.

Of course you realize as we were listening to this story that the Old Man, the one who was really the King, is a picture of God Himself who came to visit this earth in the form of Jesus Christ.

And as we reflect on what He has done for us, I wonder if you don't need, as did those characters in this story—the Wood Carver and the Weaver and the Baker—they needed a great exchange.

But they had to be willing to give up those negative things that they had developed over the process of time as a result of an unthankful heart.

What is the exchange that perhaps you need in your heart, in your home today? Is there pride? Is there impatience? Is there discouragement? Is there bitterness?

If so, are you willing to give up those things to the Master, to the King? Just to hand them over to Him and say, "Lord, I don't want to live with those things any longer."

http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/today.php?pid=10706

Thankful

2010-11-26T03:39:00.000+08:00

When I opened this email from our president with the above heading, I was, of course, curious. Would he explicitly express to whom he is thankful? would he mention God?

The email:

Junia --

When Michelle and I sit down with our family to give thanks today, I want you to know that we'll be especially grateful for folks like you.

Everything we have been able to accomplish in the last two years was possible because you have been willing to work for it and organize for it.

And every time we face a setback, or when progress doesn't happen as quickly as we would like, we know that you'll be right there with us, ready to fight another day.

So I want to thank you -- for everything.

I also hope you'll join me in taking a moment to remember that the freedoms and security we enjoy as Americans are protected by the brave men and women of the United States Armed Forces. These patriots are willing to lay down their lives in our defense, and each of us owes them and their families a debt of gratitude.

Have a wonderful day, and God bless.

Barack

was as typical as you'd expect from our silver-tongued president. Interestingly, he gives thanks to us, to the troops.. and in the end he has a shoutout to God.. (sort of).. in the "God bless" I guess though, but who is God to bless? Me? You? Us?

Ultimately, I don't harbor any hard feelings towards the president, and I think he's doing the best job he can, and if he weren't messing up in office, some other guy would be.. and honestly, i'd rather have him there.. than.. say, palin.. BUT, i can't help but be intrigued and also semi-dissect public figures' notices ..

especially comparing President Obama's thanksgiving email to say.. a speech from one of our founding fathers... there's a considerable difference.

a discovery

2010-11-18T14:48:00.000+08:00

i was listening to I Will Survive on the radio....
and i got very suspicious, b/c the instrumental parts sounded very similar to korean drama soundtracks...
so ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMmW6uSd9kI

sounds veryyy similar to....

what do you think? am i just crazy

the mountain view public library

2010-11-17T06:38:00.000+08:00

i love public libraries
i randomly ended up popping into the mountain view public library and decided to get my library card today
although my ID has my old address, i happened to have an old paystub from a check i deposited from work that had my current mountain view address
and voila!
i had a card!

the mountain view library is BEAUTIFUL, and i only moseyed around the first floor.

I checked out The Lightning Thief, an Ann Rinaldi book (best children's historical fiction writer EVER), a bilingual children's book (that my dad and i had a surprisingly interesting conversation about. dude my dad's so smart), and Revolutionary Road (DVD).

I was amazed by the amount of bilingual stuff that's there.

and it was so sweet seeing families with their kids reading books on the sofas and little nooks the MV Library provides.

There's free wireless from google there too.

and, yeah, i can't wait to go back.

i HAVE to go back - but I have to wait until 12/3 when my first application gets turned in.. otherwise i'll fritter away my time reading about Percy Jackson. It's fun. Gotta hand it to them.

OH AND i put Mockingjay on HOLD. FINALLY WILL BE READING THAT BABY SOON.

I bought some adult books to read... but yeah, i think YA fiction is just.. so much more interesting...

random passing thoughts i wanted to write down

2010-11-15T12:01:00.001+08:00

i sometimes have difficulty distinguishing between memories and dreams.. especially lately
today a person asked me when i was coming back from Irvine -_- (i've been up here for almost 3 months now)
i get excited.. then i get deflated... then i get excited... (and on and on the circle goes)
when i meet someone from romania or bulgaria, i think of estera
life has been running so smoothly lately, i'm a little nervous about the future
i love it when people give me subtle social reminder cues
i've been listening more to R&B than country lately, probably for the following reasons
A) the beats keep me awake when I drive
B) the late country singles have been really bad
i don't really like cooking or baking anymore.. unless i'm making breakfast for myself
today at church there were a group of people practicing a song - they sounded good and all, but it sounded really funny too at the same time. hehehehehe. especially when they tried to you know go all diva
i really need to start my uffish blog

i really hope i didn't send this essay in for my stanford (undergrad) app....

2010-11-13T07:48:00.000+08:00

but if i did, it's even MORE understandable as to why i didn't get in. -_-

It's cute though. I was so naive.

I was spending the night at my friend Taylor's house when around 9 pm, my friend Laura stomped in and declared, "I have just found the meaning of true rejection." Basically, she had been lead on by her ex boyfriend who she wanted to get back together with (I don't understand it either), and was shattered. Being crazy juniors, Taylor, Laura, and I hopped into a minivan and went driving around downtown looking for Laura's ex. After having scoped out all the local hang outs, we admitted defeat and went back home where I promptly turned on my mix and lit candles. Being absolutely tired since it was around 12 am, all three of us snuggled into Taylor's queen sized bed. As we tried to sleep, we listened to Laura complain, then sing us lullabies.

The next morning, I awoke to commotion on the roof. I saw Laura in a bikini outside holding a boom box. "Get dressed and come up!" she yelled motioning to the roof. As I searched for a two piece, I heard my CD being blasted on the roof. After I fixed lime margaritas, we climbed on the roof with my video camera and took pictures and danced. It was something that people would not normally do; dance in a two piece on the roof while belting out Jewel’s “Standing Still.” But, desperate times called for desperate measures, and the total loss of a boy was definitely a desperate time in my book.

what the.. no, No.. absolutely NOT. NO.

2010-11-05T16:14:00.000+08:00

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-11699682

are you serious Sarah Palin?
Seriously Sarah Palin, if you run for president, Obama is guaranteed his second term.

That video is beyond ridiculous. It's like 3 people, all white people.. what happened to latinos? asians? southeast Asians?

and not to be mean, but your accent is that of CANADA.

Ms. Sarah Palin, you might have a HUGE hand in the sweeping GOP successes during this year's elections, but if they're smart (and they are), I doubt they'll back you as president. you're more of a risk than an asset to this country.

YIKES.

You know how people used to say "Not my president!" about GW Bush? I used to think that was incredibly rude and unnecessary - because he IS your president..... if you don't like him, then move to Canada.

But in this case, if Palin becomes president (a hUge IF, but i mean, i don't have much faith in either side of America.. the red or the blue..) ... I won't HAVE to move to Canada.. it will have moved to us! AHHHHH

thoughts on voting

2010-11-03T06:23:00.000+08:00

i should've read up on this wayy more than i did. i have no excuse.
i think we all should vote... i think you should exercise your right as a citizen and furthermore, actively work to prevent decay in society (whether they want it or not).
with that said, i think when i vote, i realize how stupid i am, how i'm really no better than any ignorant, uninformed voter, because that's what i am. i don't take the time to read up on issues, i focus on a few and get too lazy with the rest... i jump on bandwagons and brush off this blase attitude with the "eh, lesser of two evils" blah blah blah.

which sucks. and so, next time, i plan on spending more time and evenly researching the ideas that are passed my way as a CA/US citizen.. (rather than simply sticking my nose into the interesting ones).

i have a proposition idea.
Each election day, they should have a prop for "regular citizens should lose their right to vote if they don't vote on at least 4 props" ... that way, people would panic, feel outraged, go out and vote.. and this cycle would continue. hahaha.

(i swear, i think if you tweak my idea.. it might work..)

the half marathon

2010-11-02T15:58:00.002+08:00

so i always hated running... perhaps the best shape i was ever in was when i was around 15 or 16... that's when i ran 2 miles in under 16 minutes.. went to do situps and pushups and weights and swam like crazy. that was before i got knee injuries and my PE teacher labeled me (and 2 fellow wopo teammates) "the Gimp"....

during college i never ran - maybe jogged.. like once.. but yea, was too afraid to try anything huge (like the EBCB 3-mile fun run. sounds like death!)

i DID do a triathlon once and the running was the worst part..a 10:33/mile split = PAINFUL!

but in Taiwan, i caved to the peer pressure and the enthusiasm my fellow teachers had towards running and i even found the best running buddy ever! She and i would run and talk at the same time! we would even take turns pushing her daughter in her stroller! Did it faze me that my pace was that of a mom of two? not at all. we "trained" in a lovely park in Taiwan amidst the interesting locals and ended up running the Supau Supau 9k! (a SUPER cheap run: 100NT (~3$))... it was fun. it was whatevers. (51.34.85.. but I think they messed up.. i think i was slower..)

Anywhoos, around that time, a BUNCH of us decided to sign up for the Dean Karnezos Silicon Valley Marathon...

Ashley, my running-friend extraordinaire counseled me and said half-marathons are fun.. and marathons, granted, you get the "sense of accomplishment", but they are never fun. Considering how this lady is a RUNNER, I took her word for it...

The eve of the half, i was skeptical.. it was NOT going to be fun. lena and i stayed up making food for the next day (i realized how IMPORTANT it is to EAT... because I totally lost all energy on the triathlon i did when i came home) ... we made almond butter bagels with peanut butter and cold-toasted creamcheese bagels for choe...

then we pillowtalked.
then i slept.

and woke up the next morning to Lena's voice (i had slept through the alarm).

Choe came soonafter... and i was a nervous wreck.
Because I was cold
and i was borrowing Lena's tanktop
because the cheapo shirts we got from the SV Marathon were SUPER SEE-THROUGH and i didn't come prepared with another tank.. >:O

when we got there, i tried to pump myself up and smile and be happy (because Ashley said if you smile while you run, you trick yourself into thinking you're having fun)... but I knew I was going to die.

Especially considering how
A) I twisted my ankle in June (thus did not train)
B) I totally ate it on my July 17th Triathlon
C) I didn't train.. (even though I planned on training/vowed to..).. I mean the extent of my training can be counted on my two hands... and on the Thursday before the half, I ran with stupid DannyBoy 4.88 miles (although I told everyone it was 5).. and it took like.. an hour and twenty minutes. (although granted, running with dannyboy will be a PAIN!). and then i was SORE the next two days!!!!!!!!
D) DChoe said he'd just leave me if i was slow
E) so granted, I was scared...

But of course, when we got there, they have music pumping, and I'm getting excited (and scared) and i meet a few people who are also running for the first time. i see a lot of middle-aged-out-of-shape people (and feel encouraged haha) .. annnd I saw a HUGE row of portapotties.. so i tried to use one.. but i didn't shut the door properly.. grabbed it closed before an awkward incident occured. (whew) . I couldn't poo though :-(

Choe, Lena and I stretched, took pictures and after debating a bit, i decided to check in my jacket (it was SO cold, i thought maybe I could run with my jacket on) .... it was FREEZING.. the MOON was out.. i waS COLD. What the HECK was i DOING OUT HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF SAN JOSE AT 6AM!?!!!!!

THE FIRST PART

7AM came quickly and Choe, Lena and I started on a brisk pace. At the first mile, there were people cheering and i drank water too fast and cramped a little. It was fun though, nothing bad.. i could smell bo and perfume. not pleasant, but not bad. we were running through residential areas so it was pretty and i got to see festive (and freaky) halloween decorations. as i passed the first mile, i tried to psych myself into thinking that that was not a mile (when i do any sort of long-distance exercise, i try to pretend i have accomplished less than I already have... IE, when I climbed the stairs to my 4th floor dorm freshman year, i'd pretend I was on floor 2 when I was on floor 3 so that when floor 4 appeared I'd be pleasantly surprised!) ....

then it took a LONG time for the next water stand to appear.. for some reason, i thought there'd be a stand every mile, so i was like WHAAAT??? WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG WAHHH. but it turned out that it was actually the third mile~!! and that there would be around 9 stands... and that there'd be markers for the miles.

THE LATER PART

Anyway, it was okay, in the first 5-6 miles, we would randomly make some conversation, have some moments of laughter and smiles... have brief spurts of energy... and i'd try not to let my heart sink at the fact that I had to do 13 miles....... I tried to do math in my head, and the whole time, my song soundtrack in my head was "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen, "Pump It" by Black Eyed Peas, and "Our God Reigns." HAHAHAHa. towards the end I had some Aguilera and Destiny's child, but not much. lots of times it was just blank..
I really liked the scenic areas... and such. towards the end, there were a few small hills, and during the last 2 miles, i was dying.. er not dying, just falling behind. CHOE AND LENA KEPT SUCH A ROBUST PACE!!!!!! and at certain times, my breathing/pace was perfect.. and i felt like i could keep it up forever. Also, every time i saw an official looking camera person, i tried to look HAPPY (just like Gloria, the random blogger I read who inspires me to eat healthy and run... well, she inspires me in my head, i never actually do anything she says.. because heck no will i ever wake up at the crack of dawn to run and become a vegan..) but instead of her "thumbs up", I'd just wave my hands madly in the air.. after all, in the end, what do we have besides memories and... PICTURES? I also tried to thank people or say good morning to the policemen (again, Gloria) but.. I couldn't keep it up. it's too awkward. maybe in Canada and Taiwan, people are nice, but in America? much less the Silicon Valley? yeah, just smile nicely and stare.. hahahahha

other times, i realized that when i talked, i'd fall behind, and when i stopped talking, i could keep up. around that time i realized wow, i'm tired... i can't talk and run at the same time.

I also mused about "Accelerade" or "Excelerade" i was wondering if it's from the idea of to Accelerate or from the idea of to Excel? Anyway, i won't look it up.

I side-cramped maybe twice.

I also tried some accelerade gel.. it was nasty. like the fluoride mixture dentists put on your teeth. i felt gypped ....

OH i LOVE how during races, you can drink and just TOSS the CUP!!! (But then of course, you have to be careful of people around you).

It's different though how in Taiwan, they yell "JIAYOU!" and clap for you, but here, there weren't many verbal affirmations. I cheered this old indian man, and he chuckled behind me. hahaha.

things like that kept me happy and my spirits up. the weather was nice, it was shady... and yeah, Lena and Choe kept a great pace.. and would occasionally laugh. I think during the whole time i felt okay..

THE LAST PART

but by the end, i was feeling it..
and finally, when we hit the last mile mark, i was like.. okay. good. glad to end..I tried to sing Don Maclean's "American Pie" in my head since that song is 10 minutes long and my mile should be 10 minutes long, but it was slow and making me sad... and i forgot the lyrics... since it was SO long.. and there's only so many "chevy to the levee"s you can say...... I was planning on just jogging and jogging b/c i doubted I'd have a 'last spurt of energy'... but then we were on a track, and i HAD to try to pick it up.. so i did..I had been saving "Don't Stop Me Now" after the first few miles .. and so with that song bumping in my head, I began to pick up the pace and actually, you know, raise my knees up.... because each person you pass, is a person you pass... but MAN. they tRICKEd you because after the track, i had to run ONE MORE LOOP (when i thought i'd be done)... but by then, you can't call it quits, so i ran through the wet grass and saw the ticking timer... and it was 20 seconds away from 2:20.. and i wanted to BREAK that.. so .. i SPED THROUGH!! and my mom didn't come in time :-( but that's okay! I got a medal and someone bent down and cut off the timer from my shoe (i felt like a Roman goddess!) .. and i got a free banana!! and drinks and stuff....

THE END PART

and then my mom found me, and we went home.. and i was starting to feel sore.. but seriously, I can't believe it happened/ I did it.
I jogged the whole thing (couldn't stop with Lena and Choe).. well except for when I stopped once to tie my shoe and another time to carefully drink my water (but i don't count it)...
and yeah.... i didn't die.

now i feel like dying though.
but i don't know.

I'm all inspired.

Not to run a marathon
or a half marathon.

but I want to jog regularly.. and 5 miles don't seem bad anymore
and I think I'll try the EBCB Fun Run this year!

Final Stats:
Bib: 3146
Gender: F
Age: 23
Race: Half Marathon Individual
Class: F29Under
Class Rank: 31 (out of 78)
Gender Rank: 182 (out of 434)
Overall Rank: 490 (out of 945)
Pace: 10:38
Time: 2:19:25

weeooweeoo!

harroween

2010-10-30T18:56:00.000+08:00

Deb (princess?), Jeremy (Leopard w/ a lipstick nose and eyeliner

whiskers), Mom (cat), Joy (Korean Princess? Bride?), and yours

truly (I had the brilliant idea to get my mom to paste aluminum

stars on me.. so that i could be... "The Queen of the Night.")

So, there used to be a time when i loved halloween. namely when i was a child and could go trick-or-treating and go to an AWESOME fair at the nearby church (once i won the HUGE kite at the carnival raffle).

I was always pretty creative...
I was a clown once. i dragged my mom all over town to find the elements for my costume. she was a good sport. no, she was awesome.

i think i just hated that pumpkin costume.. the one that I wore in kindergarten and first grade. in both pictures, i have a finger shoved up my nose.

What a lovely Beatnik!
But I'd probably look like
a lumpy piece of coal...
"You've been naughty!"

i also didn't want to wear a hanbok and call myself a "korean princess."

Anyway, i have to find a costume for work... and i thought I could just pull something off.. but I put it off, and now I'm figuring things out. I tried to be Edna Mode, but no one could tell that I was trying to be Edna.. no one even remembered her name! Becca suggested I wear a black turtleneck with my black jeggings and be like Audrey Hepburn from Funny Face. I don't know about you, but I *could* wear that.. but I'd definitely NOT look like Audrey Hepburn..

my graduation pumps!

So i found a cutout of sarah palin's face, and decided to wear my edna costume minus the black leggings, plus my red graduation pumps... and voila, i'm going to be Sarah Palin!

I KNEW my pumps would come in handy one day..

while grocery shopping

2010-10-29T15:44:00.000+08:00

i saw a girl who looked like she stepped out of a catalog.
she looked slightly european with mussed dirty blond hair
gray boots, gray tights, some sort of skirt and shirt combination with an open wool coat that ended at the same length as her skirt.
she looked casual
she looked autumn
she looked so beautiful!
i stared, looked away, and stole another glance as i left.
i liked how she stood, tall but askance.. holding a shopping cart, and looking at an apple.

i like it when my aesthetic eye gets its fill. :)

words

2010-10-28T10:46:00.000+08:00

i realized today that i think "breathtaking" is the same as "refreshing" but it's not.
breathtaking usually refers to something really amazing or even shocking.
refreshing isn't necessarily the same.

viscerally, similar effects though.. kind of. like refreshing air, and breathtaking air? or water?
hmm.

both have this connotation of water.

grumble grumble

2010-10-26T06:35:00.000+08:00

i'm an idiot.
because of that i'm stuck driving around an hour round trip for dumb 2 hour stints for not a lot of money an hour.

today i saw him again (he was training me for another class -unpaid might i add) and... he wasn't wearing a blue shirt, i noticed he had a weird little goatpatchy thing going on with his little blonde beard.. and... HIS EYES WERE NOT THAT DEEP DEEP SHADE OF BOTTOMLESS BLUE!

during the interview i remember being plagued with these questions: how could his eyes be so blue? why are they so blue? WHERE DO I LOOK - I don't want to stare at his eyes.

and today, they were like a gray.. not.. very blue. he didn't look aryan.
and i regret (enamoredly) deciding to work there.

that's all.

freaking blue eyes that were only blue because of that brilliant blue shirt.

aGH!

for thought

2010-10-21T10:43:00.000+08:00

It’s fair to object that activists like Doyne are accomplishing results that, however noble, are minuscule. Something like 101 million children aren’t attending primary school around the world, so 220 kids in Doyne’s school constitute the teensiest drop in the bucket. The larger problem can be solved only if governments make education a top priority (which they haven’t), just as ending the wars in Congo may require the concerted action of states. Well-meaning individuals like Doyne help at the edges but don’t fundamentally change the nature of the challenge; indeed, charitable construction of schools and hospitals may sometimes free up governments in poor countries to use their money to buy weapons instead.

All that is true — but it’s equally true that if you happen to be that drop in the bucket, Doyne is transforming your life. And afterward, you may become an education advocate as well, transforming other people’s lives. As Doyne herself puts it, “If your own children were born orphans in Nepal, you wouldn’t wait for the U.N or the government to do something about it while they were hungry and cold and breaking rocks by the side of a riverbed.”

-http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/24/magazine/24volunteerism-t.html

music

2010-10-14T13:33:00.000+08:00

i miss listening to tori amos and fiona apple and joni mitchell.
there's something about those wavering persistent voices stating strong or poetic lyrics that get me.

same goes for the boy punkrock bands that sang of nothing but teenage love and angst and random poetry.
(sugarcult, sum 41, ataris, fall out boy, relientk, juliana theory anyone?)

"but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion..." Luke 10:42

2010-10-14T01:37:00.000+08:00

This week was a hectic week.
This week was full of down time.
Are these two statements contradictory? (perhaps a socratic paradox?)

I can explain.
I lost my planner.
As a result I triple-booked myself, forgot appointments, tried to juggle appointments I had forgotten last week and tried to make plans for next week.
Also, my car began to have engine issues.
Also, it had a flat tire. (I'm hoping the funky engine sounds are related to the flat tire...)
Also, my bike has 2 flat tires.
As a result I ended up missing/cancelling/missing many appointments.
As a result I ended up having a lot of down time.
But it was still hectic.

Honestly, it's been quiet in general. And I think about Martha and Mary. I like the buzz. I like the busyness. I'm trying to get back into having a fuller schedule.. but it usually pushes me into a Martha-complex.
I wonder how Martha would've responded if, as she was prepping in the kitchen, she slipped and broke her leg. Would she make the best of that situation and sit at Jesus' feet or would she be super PO'd.

I bet she'd sit at Jesus' feet just because I think we sometimes give her an overly-hard time, and Mary was kind of spacey (haha - i'm SO eisegeting here it's not even funny.. maybe I just favor one over the other).

But I wonder if I would. In effect, I am sort of like Martha with a broken leg. But instead of sitting and being still in Christ's presence (a luxury that I know in my head I won't have for long), my mind continues to whirr at a mile a minute, trying to figure out stuff for the future when I *will* be busy.

With that said.
Sayonara!

GRE

2010-10-13T23:41:00.000+08:00

I am going to apply for the UCI terminal Master’s in English program for Summer 2010.
Perhaps maybe even to Stanford’s STEP program.
Maybe even a longshot and apply for Berkeley English PhD. (ha. yah right)
Examine my heart and maaayyyyybe oxford/cambridge English masters. (but that’s a secret / don’t tell my parents b/c they’ll be way too excited and I am not sure if I would apply).
Taiwanese GRE red tape: It’s a split-test process and they offer the computer part many times a year, but the written part is only offered 2x a year - October and June.
Plus the subject exam is only offered 2x more this year. I missed the November registration deadline, but the admissions contact told me I could take the April one. April 12th. I don’t know if I’ll be in the USA or.. in Asia then. …
I e-mailed the admissions btw. it was a ridiculous email.. basically “can i not take the GRE?” he was like “uh GRE is the basic standard for your application” i kind of knew that was coming. especially when Selina was all “Uh it’s like the SATs.. you can’t apply to college without the SATs!”
Oh shoot.
So what I’m planning right now is either to take the split test Taiwan GRE and turn in the second part super late (I *may* be admitted on a provisional basis) but right now I’m looking at Japan and Thailand … … yeah, I’m going to one of those countries for ONE weekend to take a test and then come home .. woo. … .. -_-

alice and anne

2010-10-11T09:42:00.000+08:00

I love having talented students in my class. Er scratch that. I love having students with ambition. Not “ambitious students” but students who like to do certain things and are fine with it.
And obviously, when their interests coincide with mine, I geng adore them. HAHa. ew mixing chinese and french = yuck.
A is trying to write a book and her friend A is artsy and creates cool fonts when she writes (love it love it!) anyway, tis typical middle school fare, but still, it’s cute to read their notes. HAHA (it’s their fault! they should think twice before writing notes in class … especially in their CLASS NOTEBOOKS!)

random snippets of ... conversation

2010-10-09T05:27:00.000+08:00

i was going to say "wisdom" but it's definitely not that

"Always choose the better apple, that way every day is the best apple" - dad's profundity in picking an apple out of the crisper

"Honey, did I fill your daily love quotient?" - i overheard this as oma 'hugged' abba goodbye... SHUDDER SHUDDER SHUDDER. i think sharing this with you, dear reader, helps ease my pain.

"you should work out now! when your butt's sore it's getting better - that's how i have this cute butt-" - mom yelling this to me outside in front of the neighbors as i protested having to work out....

"I'm glad you're not married and we get to live together longer" - mom
"Oh don't worry, when I get married, we'll live here." - me
"No - you have to be biblical - leave and .." - mom
"No no no, it's being frugal! we'll stay here, it'll be great" - me
"No, you can marry a rich husband with a house and a car and you can spend his money! ... that's what God wants for you" - mom
"okay!" - me

Next Monday outing; redwoods. I guess I'm now an official member of their Monday date days...

psalm 139

2010-10-07T14:35:00.001+08:00

you search me you know me
you see my every move
there's nothing i could ever do
to hide myself from you
and even though you know
you will always love me
and even though you know
you'll never let me go
i don't deserve your love
but you give it freely
you will always love me
even though you know.
-rebecca st. james

i like when artists can take an old testament passage and re-write it with you know, new testament knowledge in mind.

this year, been dwelling more on the facts and truths behind my salvation.

spent a few weeks irked about the fact that for some reason, if i didn't talk about Christ explicitly, people seemed to assume that I'm works-based or something. then as i was verbalizing my frustrations, it dawned on me that hello, out of the heart, the mouth speaks.
so then i began to consciously focus on ways to talk about my salvation.. even during prayers (which I used to think was so hokey and contrived by the way).. and realized how AWKWARD it was for me to verbalize thanksgiving over my salvation, or even verbalize how it came to be... so that was a wake-up call.

Ultimately thankful. Ultimately filled with questions.

Ultimately comforted.
As He teaches me how to sing His love song.

reinstatement

2010-10-06T21:07:00.000+08:00

so last Friday i rejoined 5am club... (i guess that 10am oversleep really was a wake up call...!!)

and Saturday was also a success.. not too painful either.

you know, even as i type right now i feel okay.

sunday is a rest day.
monday was a failure (abjectly so)
tuesday was an accidental failure... i woke up at 7:30 congratulating myself for waking before the alarm clock only to realize i mis-set it.

and today i'm back,.
except i'm going to take a nap now......
i went to bed waaaayy too late last night, it'll be insane to not take a nap.

which brings me to another pt: perhaps i should also join the 10pm sleep club... b/c yeah... otherwise it's a set up for failure.

5am club isn't that bad though. honestly. and it's cool when you wake up late but it's still early.

one new way of helping me get up is i set my alarm to NPR, so i wake up to interesting conversation, so my mind starts thinking and.. i think THINKING helps me wake up!

sometimes when i sleep in, i wake up b/c i'm thinking about my toes.. b/c I think i start wiggling them before I wake up. hehehehe.

anyway, NAPTIME!

Fitting Sequence

2010-10-05T22:26:00.001+08:00

The end of the first story:

These two things fight together in me as the snakes
      fight in the spring. The water comes out of my
      eyes; yet I laugh while it falls. Why?
I am two Mowglis, but the hide of Shere Khan is under
      my feet.
All the jungle knows that I have killed Shere Khan.
      Look—look well, O Wolves!
Ahae! My heart is heavy with the things that I do
      not understand.

The beginning of the next story:

Oh! hush thee, my baby, the night is behind us,
      And black are the waters that sparkled so green.
The moon, o’er the combers, looks downward to find us
      At rest in the hollows that rustle between.
Where billow meets billow, there soft be thy pillow;
      Ah, weary wee flipperling, curl at thy ease!
The storm shall not wake thee, nor shark overtake thee,
      Asleep in the arms of the slow-swinging seas.

Mowgli is a child/wild/wise/young/immature.

i wish he had a mother who could assure him with that lullaby.

while i'm still young and spry.

2010-10-01T16:33:00.000+08:00

what is it about night and lamp light
that makes a messy room softer
a rumbly tummy quieter
a racing mind calmer

a few days ago charles chang introduced me to john piper's prose poetry.
i am intrigued by piper's imaginative stories that bring parts of the Bible alive and point to Christ's redemption and is literary art.

November is around the corner.

I want to write a story on Elizabeth.
I need to understand more of the Jewish priesthood.

Article on Pride

2010-10-01T05:30:00.000+08:00

Why it is hard to repent of pride

Posted on 30 September 2010
Tags: Repenting of pride

Pride is a catch-all word for sin: pride is sin and sin is pride. Pride is a helpful word in that it accurately describes our fallenness. It is a word we know and a word we understand. When I say that I am proud, everyone immediately knows that it is not a good thing and that I need help. The word pride gets you thinking and moving in the right direction. Pride is like a warning alarm that calls the Gospel-centered man to action.

Let’s Get Specific

The downside to pride is that it does not get into the specifics of my sin. I can’t really repent of pride. I don’t know how. But if you tell me what specific manifestation of pride that you see in my life, then I can repent. While I don’t know exactly how to repent of pride, I can repent of self-righteousness, anger, arrogance, and laziness, which are all forms or manifestations of pride.

A helpful way for me to think about pride is by using the analogy of weeds growing out of a flower pot. You could say that pride is like the dirt in the pot, while specific sins are the various weeds that grow out of the dirt. In this illustration, pride is the fertile soul of the heart from which the specific weeds grow.

I find it much more encouraging to be told what forms of pride are being observed in my life than just being told that I am proud. I know I am proud, but what kind of pride are you talking about? When my friends point out the specifics of my sin, then I have the faith-filled and joy-filled privilege of going to God to receive his forgiveness and cleansing for my sin. (1 John 1:9)

Go West Young Man

Being non-specific about our sin is like being told to go west, but not told specifically where to go. I would point my wagon toward the setting sun and strike the mules to get them going, but without a clear destination in mind, I would only be heading somewhere toward the Pacific Ocean.

In order for me to be sufficiently helped I need to hear the specifics of my sin. The Gospel is ready, willing, and able to cleanse me from all my sin. Therefore I want to know the specifics so I can be changed by the power of the Gospel.

Through the years I have had the joy of training counselors, small group leaders, and pastors. Often I will hear them say that they need to repent of pride or someone they are working with needs to repent of pride. While their assessment is an accurate assessment, I appeal to them to be more specific in their observations and counsel by asking God to reveal to them what manifestations of pride they are talking about.

If you were to tell me that you struggled with pride I would not be surprised. You and I are fallen people living in a fallen world. However, I would not know anything new about you and my counsel could be reduced to praying and reading your Bible more often. Though praying and Bible reading is good, it is generally not enough.

By saying you are proud is to merely affirm what the Bible teaches. But if you tell me the specific manifestations of your pride, then I would know you in a very real way, as opposed to any other human on the planet. I would be able to pray specifically about you. I would also be able to bring specific Scriptures to bear on your pride.

Let me encourage you to learn how to be more specific with your friends. To say, “I am sick” is one thing, but to say, ”I have a flu” tells me a whole lot more. Let’s serve one another by thinking deeply about each other, while bringing the Gospel to each other in a “customized” kind of way.

The next time someones says you are proud be sure to thank them for caring for your soul as well as for caring about your relationship with the Father. But do not let them off the hook. Make them tell you exactly how they see your pride working out in your life. A true friend will work with you in the specifics of your sin. Between the two of you, you should be able to get down to the nitty gritty of your sin so you can fully repent.

http://www.competentcounseling.com/2010/09/30/repent-of-pride/

maggie

2010-10-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

““NBA players are variable; thus we can touch them.””

-
-a sentence from a Semicolon homework set that I received from an 8th grade student.
i don’t get it either.

bob

2010-09-28T05:10:00.000+08:00

““The egg is on the table.””

- a student had to give an example of a declarative sentence. i just find this so funny…. b/c it’s so RANDOM. why an egg? why on a table? why?

top chef finale 8

2010-09-27T13:07:00.000+08:00

what the heck?

i thought Kevin was mexican.

lol

Ed's personality sort of shifted towards the end :-(

Glad Angelo didn't win..... but i hope he doesnt blame being sick.

sad tiffany didn't make it to the finals.

or KENNY

DUDE

totally liked that dude

Why I like to watch Kim Sun Ah Act

2010-09-26T11:26:00.000+08:00

- her roles are always quirky
- she’s entertaining
- despite her eccentric characters and their loudmouthed, strong willed, weirdo ways, she always gets the BEST guy
- she can be so vulnerable on-screen, it’s amazing.
- although i disagree, people think this woman is attractive
- she has a majestic air about her in the way she carries herself
- her eyes and her round face reminds me of my mom
… i get annoyed at her screeching and her babytalk though. but every actor has his/her faults so yeah

-maybe in a little way i see myself in every character she plays…. secretly wishfully living vicariously. .. yeh.

"You can't start a charity off of charity." - My dad

2010-09-25T06:46:00.000+08:00

My dad's candid response to my dreamy monologue of how I wanted to start a self-supporting school in Bangledesh.

It was okay; I wasn't crushed. It was just a little dose of reality and a reminder to take a step back from huge ideas and start with step one.

Sadly, I realized step one was a very, very teeny step, and despite what I thought were "good credentials," the current economic situation and my late start in the game, even that little step was barely toeing the line.

I'm going to keep thinking of huge ideas, of feats I can accomplish twenty years from now (even though I don't know where I would be then). Maybe someone else will take these ideas off my hands and do it him/herself. Maybe just my thinking about this and writing about this will cause someone else to do something totally different. I don't mind being a catalyst.

Maybe nothing will come of all of this. Maybe this will all be a nice, but futile writing exercise. (Maybe right now I'm feeling incredibly doubtful and am thinking I need to gain more experiences and work under my belt until I apply for schools because my mind is whirring because starbucks is playing "LA Woman" by the Doors and the music is messing with my already slightly feverish mind!!!!!!!!!!!)

We'll see.

As for now, I'll be recording my steps, ideal future steps, (possibly many) stumbles, and you know, those rare occasions of success.

So i'm going to do it.

2010-09-25T05:31:00.000+08:00

Right now I can't figure out a blog name for the blog that I'm going to use to....
* summarize/discuss articles/movies/other media that discuss education issues
* write individual posts of "brilliant ideas"
* document my own process of applying/volunteering
* write my own reasons/thoughts/anecdotes/background information about me + figures of education
* be as idealistic as i want!

The purpose of this blog would be to
* help me keep an organized track of everything going on in my head (blog tags FTW <-- ooh did i use that right?)
* inspire people (i think my over the top ideas help catalyze more moderate, doable ideas)
* hopefully garner positive publicity for a future school?

Future difficulties
* I don't like blogging in a structured manner.

Idears I had:
The Mind Garden (b/c it was a suggestion for JChun's tutoring center; b/c I feel like a name should also be thematic to the focus / feel of the whole place. Like is it a place to CULTIVATE minds? PRUNE them? PLANT SEEDS? ... JChun said it sounded like a hippie psycho shymcho)

Mees Keem (to point to my past/first experience as a teacher)

Teaching Fishing (you know the whole "if you teach a man to fish. blah blah blah")

Lofty Aspirations; Modest Goals (boring!)

Shoot for the stars (trite)

The Snark? (like my writing style.. if i decide to be snarky, AND point to LC's elusive Snark as a metaphor pointing to the elusive grasp for the right education?)

For now, i'll just write my posts here, and later copy it over to the other one.. once it's made.

I'm thinking of using WordPress instead of Blogspot.

I know most of you guys are silent stalkers, but... PLEASE COMMENT. (and in the future; in the new blog, I WILL NEED COMMENTS HAHAHAHHAHAHA)

What Happens in MN Stays in MN.

2010-09-22T13:20:00.000+08:00

Yeah right.

Day 1:
Mom drove me to SF airport for 7:25am take off.
Stopped by So Cal to pick up more passengers (wtheck, airplanes are like busses now?)... and a BUNCH of USC people got on. a lot of OLD people wearing USC gear saying "Fight on" to random other USC people they saw... they were like all old. I was wondering if there was some.. USC reunion for Minnesotans..
Transferred in Denver, Colorado
Finally landed in Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
Early bc no checked bags!
Called Go Direct and I got to leave on an earlier shuttle. Hooray!
Leona found me at St. Mary's Mayo Clinic.
We went home and snacked on veggie chips and made a quick dinner and waited for Dr. Han.
Who came home oh so late :( :(
It's okay! We went for walks and talked and such! She showed me around.. and I got to take the Junia Suite in Chez Han. :)
we also soaked oxtails..

Day 2:
Woke up bright and semi-early (okay not really), and after starting up the oxtail soup,
hit up Daube's bakery
then onto Harmony, MN for a tour of Amish town! Which turned out not to be a town really, but more of scattered settlements... Leona aptly said it reminded her of her China tours where they basically take you from store to store in hopes that you'll buy from them. hehe.
then.. an impromptu trip to IOWA! (the border was only 3 miles away. how could I resist?)
Now if people ask me if I've been to Iowa, i can say .... YES!
stopped by at home to check on the oxtail soup (and to bathroom)
Went to downtown Rochester and waited for James! Who gave us a quick tour of the Mayo clinic.
We went to Chester's for my birthday dinner (aww shucks guys!)
Then came home and checked on the oxtail soup.
Maybe went on a walk?
Leo and I ended up watching Bright Star, which I wouldn't recommend for the casual moviegoer. (before we watched, I made her read "Bright Star" and we did a quick analysis. HAHAHHA)
well, james was with us, but 5 minutes into the movie, he conked out. and randomly twitched. hehehe.

Day 3
Woke up late and mosied on over back up to Saskeetow? Or some random named town near the Twin Cities... to hit up
A RENAISSANCE FAIRE!
Afterwards we went to Mall of America (biggest mall in the world) and hit up TWO rides at Nickelodian (sp?) Universe. They were FUN. especially the second ride.. i almost peed my pants it was so good!
James treated us to starbucks and unfortunately, my first pumpkin latte of the season was not that great.
Then came home and cut up watermelon...

Day 4
Church ! at Calvary Evangelical Free Church.
Okay, I really loved it here. I really really did. And afterwards we went to a welcome/history of church/what we believe session (which is sort of like a pre-lim to membership) ..
I was glad that I got to learn more about the Evangelical Free Churches and also about this church, and I was yeah, .. seriously, it's awesome to connect with believers anywhere you go. They have a LOT of cool community outreaches here. The pastor who was leading this was really careful in explaining things and just so nice and gracious and his wife (second wife: both of their spouses passed away) was really outgoing and friendly and a go-getter. Anyway, I can't wait til my church gets bigger and has a varied age group etc etc. EXCITING/excited for Leo/James.
then cheeeled .. read books, researched/began school apps... James came in and out and procrastinated his essay by complaining that he was hungry.
then we went to Newt's where we et some fATTY burgers.
then James gave me a tour of the richer/older neighborhood and we played in a park. (and even in Rochester, kids go to parks to smoke le veed!)
then came home, cheeled some more, and then Leo and I watched Romy and Michele's High School Reunion. then looked up more awkward dance clips (where we ended up watching the ending of Never Been Kissed. GAh they just don't make chick flicks like that nowadays, and the A-Ha's music video , and the BeeGees' music vids )
then ... ahem, we tried to learn the staying alive dance. .. then James came out and we tried to get him to do the final dance with us. Hahahhahaha. I can't divulge any more information but all I can say is Leona has an awesome husband. (we should've done THAt dance at the wedding)
then we all three went on a walk with a frisbee. .. and came home.
Then Leo and i took random pictures... and. .. went to bed. :(

Day 5:
woke up super early.
Leo drove me to the airport
I slept and slept until Phoenix, Arizona
Then waited there for 2 hours until i landed in SJ, CA.
where parents+joy and I went to get jjajjangmyung, jjambbong, and tangsuyook.

How I make decisions...

2010-09-21T05:12:00.000+08:00

Grace: what time are you planning on leaving?

me: mmm what time is it?

4;30/

hmm 5?

im thinking of going to costco

but.

acutally no

no tengo dinero

DArn it >;O

i wanted to buy samgyupsal

LOL

but thats unnecessary

as are the apples

and the marshmallows are unnecessary too

i'll just get that next time.. b/c it's only a 50NT discount anyway

wowwww

marketting

getting me to go to csotco just for 50NT

... wow.. that was like.. a monologue

2010-09-20T04:55:00.000+08:00

looked thru stanford gsb website and was sufficiently intimidated.
seriously. heart-poundingly freaked out.

i mean i have to include a resume for the ed program.. (along with other things).. and then on a whim, clicked the ma/mba dual program.

now i don't think i'll get in ANYWHERE.

why did i squander my undergrad education?

it's okay.

i don't need this.
i'll try anyway.

^_^

(just wanted to say though, INTIMIDATED THOROUGHLY! FOR SURE!)

"I wish i could be carelessly brilliant" - leona (from reading Ender's Game)

my ideas

2010-09-20T03:53:00.000+08:00

once in 8th grade i read a boy's extensive 'opendiary.com' post on his "great" business proposal.. called like one-bite pizza, where basically the premise is they'd sell a pizza with the first bite gone.. and things would go like "uh oh, (if they got a whole one), here ya go!" and then take a bite. something like that. and when it got big they'd have like pizza-cutters shaped with a bite so that they could just take out bites mass-styles.
I forget why he thought it'd be a good idea.
Honestly, well, obviously, I'm kinda sold on that idea since I still remember it (and remember who said it) a decade later.

I have some cool ideas.

Like my Nakery. Where the little catch phrase would be "Naked and Unashamed" and where people would say things like "that's SO nake!" and my cookies and muffins and breads would be bare and stripped and NOT full of preservatives/frosting.

Leona thought of titling an Asian-fusion restaurant "Disoriented." I think that would be cuuuute. I think the name would work for like a small cart, or something like that. It would be fun to run.

Another idea I had was changing my phone ring tone to the song from Inception that warns you of an impending kick. You could have it as your alarm, and it would be a trippy way to wake up. THEN also, you know how when a sound like your alarm goes off during the day, you - for a split second - think that it's time to wake up? Well, you'd have that effect DOUBLED since it would also be the sign that your dream is up.

Talking of Inception, my friend Sarah had a really smart idea.. (a while ago - but one that I remember now) .. perhaps the Inception was actually run by that girl on Leo Dicap's character.. it makes more sense. there's MORE of a purpose with that.. because the whole inception for a business thing was kinda.. half-baked/not fully fleshed out.. and random.. and way too well done. Anyway, one thing that bugs me about the ENDING is that either it's his dream OR it's the director's continuity error. that bugs me. it's REALLY not ambiguous .. it's one or the other. and that bugs me. haha. (let's talk if you have enlightened ideas). Otherwise, I thought Inception was fun and riveting. reminds me a LOT of Spanish philosophy/literature (they realllly love the whole zhuangzi's butterfly/dream theory) .. especially of Borges.

Inception's cool because there was a wide positive reception, it was trippy enough to get people thinking about it, but not enough to lose people. hehehe.

THE END!!!!!

i went with the Hans to their church. Reallllllly excited about it. hehehe. I can't wait for our church to be bigger/older/wider. I don't know. got excited about the future, and got excited about going home too.

Minnesota 1

2010-09-17T08:42:00.001+08:00

"people go to Wisconsin for vacation," she added, "there's a place called the Dells." I smiled politely. "Like 'Farmer in the Dell'?" She tried to look genuinely enthused; or maybe she actually was. I could never really tell.

"I see."

"No, I hear it's great!"

We laughed.

"Right..."

My shuttle driver was so friendly on my way over. I got off the plane much sooner than I expected, so the shuttle dude very accomodatingly sent the earlier van over to get me! On the van, I learned that the roads in Minnesota are rough because of the extreme weathers.. Weather where you can use a frozen banana as a nail in the winter, and where you can fry an egg on the pavement in the summer. Where the leaves turn into vibrant hues of red and gold in the Fall and where "you Californians" might freeze, but "us Minnesotans" can wear just about anything.

An elderly couple also got on; they were about one hour time difference away, and were here to get the husband's hip checked out at the Mayo clinic. My shuttle driver was so enthusiastic about that place, regaling in tales of how they saved his leg, how they saved another friend's brain... pretty intense, pretty detailed, pretty true. I snoozed in and out of the ride; opening my eyes to see fields of corn, rows of pine trees, a tossed mixture of winter and autumn swathed in a gauze of cold fog and cloud.

heheheh Fresh of .. the Plane?

2010-09-11T18:33:00.000+08:00

I asked my E* Reading Students to write me letters explaining a little about themselves and then why they're taking this class.

"My name is *** *** and I am very active and noisy girl. I like hanging out with my friends and traveling. I have two interesting facts. One is that I can make dog or cat's crying sound very well. When i am sad, I usually make that sound. Second, I am a fob..... ((Whoa there. hahaha))

...
...

She then talks about how she likes reading but has English problems in that she can speak it but not as well as other students. She also wants to learn how to write a good essay since she "heard that essay is very important in America."

I like her concluding sentence especially: "Fortunately, I am afraid of nothing because I am brand-new fob!"

LOL LOL

i was on my friend's facebook when...

2010-09-08T15:49:00.001+08:00

.. not to be a stalker or anything (okay fine, i am)... but DOESN'T SHE LOOK LIKE ME? or at least the thumbnail.. i clicked on it, and yeah.. but yeah. (for a sweet second i thought .. like "IS SOMEONE STEALING MY PICTURES???"!)

that's all.

an angry dream

2010-09-08T06:33:00.002+08:00

okay, so before I begin, I must qualify this note with the fact that this is NOT the first of many dreams. just i haven't had one for a while and this was uncommonly stressful.

don't remember much but a lot of us were in a church sanctuary for rehearsal. I was obviously visiting or something, but also a teacher there.. and the rehearsals were supposed to end by 9:15pm, but it was 11:15pm when it ended.. and I was sooo frustrated.. and I remember certain acts.. like some guy reciting a poem.

Anyway, I visibly showed my irritation and snapped at ... wow, i am afraid of writing out her name, but you know, the one who must not be named, and responded to her innocent query of "what's the fuss? it's now over!" with a "yeah, but it should have been over 3 hours ago. that's just inconsiderate!"

Woo!

I finally told her ! hahah. okay. wow.. sad. i woke up stressed and angry. not a good way to start. and dude, do you repent for your dreams? i have so many sinful dreams.. where i act out sinful tendencies... and sometimes i wake up and go "whoa" but realize that i was sort of immobile during it, but other times, i consciously KNOW that i have a choice as to how i should respond/what i should say... anyway, even in dreams, sometimes i sin, and sometimes i don't... i guess it IS true then in Ephesians .... AHAHHAHHAHAH i just re-looked up Ephesians 2:3 and realized that what I read this morning as "by nature children of wrath, even at rest..." is actually "by nature children of wrath, even as the rest..." HAHAHAHHAHA